Review: Soul Vengeance/Welcome Home, Brother Charles

Get ready folks, it’s gonna be one of those reviews. That is, it’s gonna get really, really weird.

A blaxploitation film concerning recently released con Marlo Monte who wants to stay legit, but becomes frustrated by his inability to get a job. Meanwhile, his ex (Jackie Ziegler) has hooked up with his former crony (Jake Carter) and is dancing topless, and his little bro is pretty much a pimp-in-waiting, further pushing him over the edge. He does, however, have the lovely Reatha Grey in his life, a former hooker. He also learned a special trick in prison, and no it doesn’t involve dropping the soap. You see, Monte realised that his one-eyed trouser snake can reach super-human lengths and has hypnotic powers over women. Dude don’t need no Viagra, lemme tell ‘ya! So he comes up with a dastardly plan to hypnotise the wives of the corrupt officials who sent him to prison (including a sexually frustrated cop who tried unsuccessfully to castrate him!) to get inside their houses so he can exact a most unusual (and elaborate) form of revenge.

Outrageous 1975 film from cult filmmaker Jamaa Fanaka (the “Penitentiary” series, the second of which was kinda fun and had Mr. T and a great evil performance by a bald Ernie Hudson) is one of the most insane movies you will ever see. It’s also not very good, but it’s not awful, and I still wholeheartedly recommend it, at least to lovers of all things cheese related. I mean...it’s the infamous PENIS STRANGULATION film. Oh come on, you know you’ve heard of it. We all have. Well, those of us who don’t have lives and rarely go out on a Friday night (Or as I call it ‘Hey, there’s another Steven Seagal film on’ Night). Did I mention that part of the film was shot whilst Fanaka was still a student at UCLA? I bet it wasn’t the PENIS STRANGULATION part. He’d surely have been kicked off campus for that.

Fanaka clearly knows why you’re watching this film, the opening titles feature one of those African Tribal dudes with the enormous schlongs, for cryin’ out loud. Of course, it would’ve been nice if Fanaka hadn’t given us such a sluggish film, especially in the opening. The sound is particularly poor here, and it honestly looks like Fanaka decided to point his camera and start shooting some random shit, though the locations are nice. The interiors, however, look like some random porno set, though under the circumstances that might have been appropriate, really. However, I kept expecting John Holmes or Harry Reems to come in and drop trou at any second. The film’s rhythmic score isn’t bad (and rather unusual), aside from the irritating title music, presumably Fanaka’s own contribution (It’s like the ear-splitting fire alarm at my previous job). I say that because I feel that the main composer has tried to compensate for Fanaka’s failings as a director, as well as the editor’s likewise incompetence. The entire hospital scene, totally unnecessary, brings the film to a screeching halt and should’ve been removed wholly. Some of the pseudo-doco footage is interesting, but it too slows the film down. We all know what we’re here for and it’s the infamous PENIS STRANGULATION scene, so y’all better get to it. Was there even an editor on this film? Was he/she sober at the time? Who felt it was really necessary to have all those scenes of our hero walking along the street with the most forced strut since John Travolta in “Saturday Night Fever”? Did we really need that scene at the bar with the hooker that goes on forever?

It was nice to see a film with one racist white cop and one non-racist, though the non-racist one (Stan Kamber) proves rather ineffectual. Still, that’s one-up on most of these blaxploitation films. And through all the sluggishness and cheapness (however the performances are a bit better than in “The Black Godfather” and “The Black Six”), one can actually see some interesting subtext here about manhood; The racist white cop is cuckolded by his wife who has secretly been gettin’ jiggy wit’ a black man, who in turn is assaulted in his...er...manhood. Said black man later strangles someone with that very same, enlarged appendage. I’m not saying any of this stuff is done well (in fact, once we get to the penis, one can no longer really call it subtext. It’s too, erm...in your face), but it’s there. How many blaxploitation films (a subgenre I love dearly!) can even claim that much? Mind you, the film isn’t as effective in dealing with the issue of the limited choices for African Americans in society, as other films in the subgenre have been. In fact, it’s kind of a shame that the film is so poor, because the ideas are interesting (though Fanaka’s clearly got a prison fetish that I totally don’t understand. Is it a slavery/chains thing?), and also because there’s an awesome PENIS STRANGULATION scene. I’m as straight as they come, but you really gotta see this wang, it’s freakin’ hypnotic! I mean, now I understand the pulling power of David Copperfield and Criss Angel, after seeing this guy’s hypnotic dong! Ridiculous, hilarious, one-of-a-kind stuff, the whole film should’ve been like this. Oh, and I just thought of a better title for this film, “Black Snake Moan”. Fits perfectly, right? I know, I know, but the joke was there begging to be told. Written by the director, presumably under the influence of a shitload of weed.

There’s a story to tell here, but Fanaka has zero idea how to tell it. I’d have kept the sex stuff, throw out the “Black Godfather”/“Black Caesar” rip-off stuff, and just make a blaxploitation comedy about manhood, pre-John Singleton’s “Baby Boy”. As is, I admire Fanaka for making a student film into a feature-length film, but his ideas are mixed in with boring plotting, poor pacing, and much too much filler. Look, you owe it to yourself to see this, no matter the quality of the film itself. It’s no turkey, just a film with ambitions it can’t deliver on. You need to see this film, though. Did I happen to mention that there’s a PENIS STRANGULATION scene? Well, there is. And it’s awesome! The “Citizen Kane” of PENIS STRANGULATION scenes!

Rating: C