Review: 2 Lava 2 Lantula

Steve Guttenberg is back as Colton West, currently filming a buddy cop movie with his buddy Marty (Michael Winslow) when he receives word from his party girl stepdaughter Raya (Michele Weaver) that the fit has hit the shan in Florida. Being an action hero…ish, Colton and Marty immediately interrupt filming to go save the world, or at least Colton’s stepdaughter. Martin Kove plays a hawkish military man, Marion Ramsey plays film crew member Teddy, Danny Woodburn (Mickey from “Seinfeld”) is Colton’s agent, and Lauren York plays Raya’s best friend.

 

I didn’t see the original “Lavalantula”, but how could I pass this 2015 sequel up? It has a title parodying the worst “Fast and the Furious” entry in a way that doesn’t make any grammatical sense. It also features a cast containing three “Police Academy” members, the bad sensei from “Karate Kid”, Kramer’s friend Mickey from “Seinfeld”, and cameos by a couple of Guttenberg’s “Cocoon” colleagues. I mean, if that’s not a valid reason to watch something, then it’s not a valid reason to watch something. Fuck it, I watched it anyway, OK?

 

So long as you’re expecting “Sharknado”-esque entertainment with an even more intentionally comedic bent that is very much in the comedic styling of “Police Academy”, it’s…got some charm. Of a sort. At least, I hope the film’s opening tag ‘The following events are based on a true story’ was meant to be funny. Hilarious, actually. There’s also a funny “Poltergeist” reference. Yes, that line. I also loved the completely ridiculous guns our heroes have. Steve Guttenberg and Michael Winslow have an easy chemistry on screen, but the former gives a seriously weird performance where he seems to be doing a grunting put-on of a performance. I get that his character is an actor, but it’s really weird, if somewhat amusing, at least at first. It gets old fast. In fact, as much as he’s adopting the more openly comedic David Hasselhoff approach to things (as opposed to the more stoic Ian Ziering), he’s no Hoff. The Hoff, embarrassing as he is, is still hilarious. Guttenberg…has his cute moments. Winslow doesn’t look to have aged much and although he doesn’t bust out the Jimi Hendrix or Led Zeppelin impersonations, he certainly hasn’t lost much step in the vocal comedy department. Dude’s still got it, even if he’s perhaps on auto-pilot in this. I’ve always had a higher tolerance for him than many others seem to, and I’ve missed seeing him in movies. As for Marion Ramsey, it might take you a while to recognise her…because she has a normal voice, unlike her “Police Academy” character. “Karate Kid” villain Martin Kove was one of the main reasons I watched this, and sadly he disappoints. He gives a flat, buffoonish performance, and comedy doesn’t appear to be his strong suit. In fact, it’s an extremely ill-fitting suit that should never have left the rack. As for Ramsey, she doesn’t really get much to say or do, but I was never a fan of her work in the “Police Academy” films anyway. The “Cocoon” in-joke and cameos by Tahnee Welch and Tyrone Power Jr. would’ve been a lot funnier if they were more visibly recognisable. I have to say, even though I knew the gag was coming from reading about it beforehand, it took me a little bit to work out it was them. The film does feature a really funny “Dr. Strangelove” visual towards the end. Yeah, that one.

 

The spiders are shit, they don’t look like they’re really interacting with anything else on screen. Like with all SyFy films, that approach to FX isn’t as amusing as they seem to think. They keep fucking that part of their films up, and I don’t see them fixing it any time soon. I know good CGI would be beside the point, but poor CGI just isn’t as funny as bad practical FX. Then again, the Ed Wood approach doesn’t work when it’s intentional anyway, something SyFy never seem to learn.

 

Directed by Nick Simon (writer of the not-bad “The Pyramid”), it’s totally the same film as “Sharknado”, just with poorly animated giant volcanic spiders that spit lava, instead of poorly animated tornadoes with sharks inside them. However, the film’s openly comedic tone may strike you as more your thing than the “Sharknado” franchise. Just remember that it’s the kind of comedy that comes from three “Police Academy” veterans. I didn’t mind it, for what it is but if you hate the “Police Academy” films, you’ll hate this. Personally, I think it might even be better than the “Sharknado” films, or at least more fun. Both maybe. The tongue-in-cheek screenplay is by Ashley O’Neil and Neil Elman, who wrote the first film.

 

Rating: C+