Review: Pistol Whipped

Troubled (read: divorced, alcoholic, useless parent, possibly corrupt) cop and former CIA spook Steven Seagal has all of his gambling debts payed off by the mysterious Old Man (Lance Henriksen, phoning it in), who in turn wants Seagal to do a few ‘favours’ for him. At first, Seagal isn’t too thrilled, but goes along with it because he needs the money, and hey, he’s only killing bad dudes. That is, until he’s asked to kill his friend Steve (Mark Elliot Winston), a fellow cop who also happens to be his ex-wife Blanchard Ryan’s current squeeze (making for some tension in their supposed friendship, let alone Ryan and Seagal’s or Ryan’s and Winston’s), and a more attentive, positive male role model for Seagal’s daughter. Is Seagal in over his head here, or is his buddy really bent and worthy of rubbing out? Paul Caulderon turns up as Henriksen’s equally mysterious lackey, Blue.

 

2008 Roel Reine (“The Lost Tribe”, “The Marine 2”) vehicle for Seagal, who in playing a guy with real flaws, appears to be muscling in on JCVD’s territory, except Seagal, unlike the aforementioned Muscles from Brussels, still plays the character exactly the same way he does any other character he plays; stone-faced, barely committed, and lazy-voiced. Even though Henriksen is clearly just picking up a pay check, he does so with far more commitment. Despite his miniscule role, one thinks Lance could teach Seagal a thing or two about acting in lesser films, without looking entirely bored (He is wasted, though, it must be said). Even more impressive, is Arthur J. Nascarella as a nasty Italian mobster, who pretty much walks off with the whole film in just one or two scenes (his final scene is terrific). Not-so special is the chick playing Seagal’s daughter, who has the least convincing laugh I have ever heard, and along with Winston (who just seems ‘off’), gives the only bad performance in a surprisingly decently acted film (Seagal doesn’t count, because we all gave up on Seagal as an actor a long time ago, if not immediately, because he never changes his style).

 

The film itself isn’t as bad as many of Seagal’s films (“Attack Force”, “Out for a Kill”, and “The Foreigner” come immediately to mind), nor is it all that special either. The direction is pretty snazzy, and slick enough to make it at least watchable. The fight scenes are a bit over-edited, which is a shame, because with less hyper-editing, and more effort put into the story (it’s not terribly original, and you end up stumbling upon something big, way before Seagal does), this might’ve been the Seagal film that rivals what JCVD is doing these days. But that is simply not the case, at the end of the day. Scripted by J.D. Zeik, die-hard Seagal fans (are they still in existence?) will want to check it out, but most others will find it barely tolerable at best.

 

Rating: C+