Review: Twilight Zone: The Movie

“Time Out”: Vic Morrow stars as an unrepentant and crotchety bigot out drinking with some friends (Charles Hallahan and Doug McGrath) after being passed over for a promotion in favour of an Asian person. After offending some African-American patrons (Steven Williams in particular), Morrow exits the bar only to end up lost in a time warp (or should that be, The Twilight Zone?), entering 1940s Germany from the POV of a Jewish person, persecuted by the KKK as a black person, and eventually thrust into the battlefields of Vietnam…as a Vietnamese person (Not sure if that last one’s a fair comparison to the others, but uh…OK John).

“Kick the Can”: Scatman Crothers turns up as a jovial retiree who entices the residents of a retirement home to play a game of Kick the Can, resulting in them reverting to their childhood selves.

“It’s a Good Life”: Kathleen Quinlan accidentally hits bike-riding youngster Jeremy Licht, and gives him a lift home. There she finds the boy’s family (Kevin J. McCarthy, William Schallert, among them) all seem to be terrified of him. Also, she’s held prisoner along with Licht’s family, as she discovers just what power Licht has over people.

“Nightmare at 20, 000 Feet”: John Lithgow stars as an intensely nervous plane passenger who swears he sees some kind of creature lurking on one of the plane’s wings, during a hellacious storm. No one will believe him.

I can’t say I’ve ever been a fan of the TV series, and this 1983 film version featuring some of the more prominent filmmakers of the 1980s is pretty uneven stuff. I tend to go with the general critical consensus here that the two more well-known directors (Steven Spielberg and a very unfortunate John Landis) don’t fare as well as the other two featured filmmakers (Joe Dante and our own George Miller).

Although we open to the inimitable sounds of CCR’s cover of ‘The Midnight Special’, the prologue from writer-director John Landis (“The Blues Brothers”, “Trading Places”, “Spies Like Us”, “Three Amigos!”, “Coming to America”- all among my favourite comedies of all-time, especially the first title) is incredibly annoying and useless. It’s basically just Dan Aykroyd and Albert Brooks singing TV themes, with a last-second shock. After that, though, we get a terrific narration by the one-and-only Burgess Meredith, whose voices intros all of the stories. That and the iconic theme music get us quickly back on track.

Sadly, it doesn’t last long, as Landis’ opening segment is by far the worst in the film. It’s not awful, but even if you took out the real-life tragedy that befell the shooting of it (Google it, if you want. I don’t see any good in me detailing it to be honest), the segment itself still doesn’t work. Yes, an unmistakable and inescapable pall is cast over the segment, but it’s the quality of the segment itself that really matters, on-set tragedies have happened before and since without ruining the quality of the art itself. Landis (who is much stronger in comedy than any other genre) writes and directs with a ham-fist, though the late Vic Morrow tries hard in the role that would tragically be his last. The music by the great Jerry Goldsmith (“Planet of the Apes”, “The Omen”) throughout is top-notch, but particularly in this segment where it’s probably the chief asset. The idea is interesting in theory, with Morrow being stuck in an alternate timeline/universe of sorts that sees him go from Nazi Germany to Vietnam War battleground. It’s full of promise, but Landis delivers it with the heaviest of hands, sealing its fate before tragedy even struck.

The second segment, “Kick the Can” doesn’t seem like a “Twilight Zone” episode at all, though indeed it is based on one of the same name written by George Clayton Johnson, who shares screenwriting credit here with Richard Matheson (“The Incredible Shrinking Man”, “Fall of the House of Usher”, “The Pit and the Pendulum”) and Josh Rogan (Really “E.T.” screenwriter Melissa Mathison, under a pseudonym for…reasons I guess). It looks and feels for all money like an “Amazing Stories” episode, which makes sense given it was directed by Steven Spielberg, creator of that anthology series. For me, it wasn’t an issue and I thought it was actually cute, if schmaltzy. Others will disagree and that’s fine, but I was more bothered by the fact that Spielberg doesn’t quite work out the length/pacing right. Say what you will about the Landis segment, at least it didn’t have that issue. This is a flawed segment, but anything with my man Scatman Crothers and that twinkle in his eye is alright with me. It helps if you liked the later “Cocoon” or “*batteries not included”.

Things really pick up in the next segment, “It’s a Good Life”, based on a same-named episode written by Rod Serling. Here the screenplay credit goes to Matheson, and as soon as you see one-scene maestro Dick Miller in an early cameo you probably don’t need to be told that Joe Dante (“Piranha”, “The Howling”, “Gremlins”) is the director. If you don’t get the hint, then the appearance by Kevin J. McCarthy (who is terrific) and cartoons on a TV screen are dead giveaways. Although essentially a comedic episode, everything is so skewed and everyone so overtly cheery that it’s actually genuinely creepy. The FX are hilariously garish, too, with one memorably bizarro creation by Rob Bottin (“The Howling”, “The Thing”). The only downside is that by the end it becomes a bit WTF, which is a shame because otherwise it’s a pretty strong segment. That’s Joe Dante for you, though. Endings have never, ever been his strong suit.

Scripted once again by Richard Matheson, the final segment is the one everyone remembers, and with good reason as it’s by far the strongest. Aussie director George Miller (The “Mad Max” series) gives us the classic “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet”, later spoofed on the truly terrible Aussie episode of “The Simpsons” (My least favourite episode, along with the one where Bart drives a car). John Lithgow is excellent as a panicky plane passenger, and Miller keeps you on edge throughout. Of all of the segments, this one for me comes closest to being representative of the “Twilight Zone” spirit on every level (though interestingly, the only segment that doesn’t have its basis in the original series is the Landis entry). Although I didn’t much care for Landis’ prologue, the ending of the entire film is hilarious, with a recurring cameo.

This one’s just short of a whole-hearted recommendation from me, due to the uneven nature of the individual segments. John Landis in particular proves to be a massive disappointment, and although cute, the Spielberg segment probably doesn’t belong. However, Joe Dante and particularly George Miller bring this one home strong. Worth a look, especially if you’re a fan of the TV series, but not satisfying on the whole.

Rating: C+