Review: TNT Jackson

This Cirio H. Santiago (“Chained Heat 2: Stripped of Freedom”, “Vampire Hookers”) directed ultra-low-budgeter (from Roger Corman’s New World Pictures) stars former Playboy Playmate Jeanne Bell in the title role, a woman newly arrived in HK and looking through it’s rather seedy, crime-infested underbelly for her brother. She is offered a lift from a mysterious, blonde American woman (Pat Anderson). Despite some bitchy banter (that really doesn’t make any sense in context with the rest of the film), the blonde takes TNT to ‘Joe’s Haven’ to meet up with a local club owner called Joe (Chiquito), who was the last person to see her brother alive. Joe’s an amiable sort of fella and apparently a karate instructor, though TNT’s clearly schooled in that area already (actress Bell...not so much). The baddies are a big-time drug kingpin (Ken Metcalf, the film’s co-writer) and his henchmen, who may have been involved in TNT’s brother’s disappearance. Metcalf’s henchmen include an ugly-looking middle-man named Ming. TNT also encounters Metcalf’s African-American underling Charlie (Stan Shaw- where’s he been the last 10-20 years?), and the two end up having a romantic dalliance. He also tells her of his plans to take over his boss’ business.

Is this 1974 blaxploitation/Kung-Fu hybrid any good? God no, but it does contain a topless fight scene, and for some people, that’s all they want in an 75 minute Filipino-shot cheapie. As for me, I thought it was a bit disappointing, but oddly enough, I’m still kinda glad I have it in my DVD collection. It sure is something, even if that something isn’t very good (I don’t think it was meant to be, though), there are plenty of movies out there that aren’t even this distinguished. Like “Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold” this one’s about a missing person, and the drug trade in Hong Kong (‘played’ in this film by The Philippines). Written by co-star Metcalf and Roger Corman alum Dick Miller (yes, the guy from “A Bucket of Blood” and just about every Joe Dante movie ever made), this films contains elements that could foreseeably make a good film, but it’s never as much fun as it should be. The film is unfortunately about 95% dialogue and 5% action, and that’s just not an acceptable ratio in a film like this, especially when the dialogue is atrocious and the performances mostly stiff. The awful dialogue in this really makes you appreciate the wit in other blaxploitation films like “Cleopatra Jones”, “Black Belt Jones”, and “Black Caesar”.

Despite some potentially interesting scenery, the film looks horrid. Not only is the DVD transfer one of the worst I’ve ever seen, but the lighting in the film is appalling. It’s almost as if the director filmed everything at 4.30PM. Santiago clearly doesn’t care how anything looks in a scene, he’s just having his cameraman point and shoot. Some of the acting is truly mind-bogglingly bad, notably Anderson. Anderson’s intolerably uppity performance actually seems to be working against her character, especially given the big twist in her role. That dialogue exchange with her and Bell I referred to in the synopsis is just appalling. It’s as if they ran out of time/money to film a bunch of scenes between the two so they just put all of the dialogue in the one scene, even though the dialogue and interplay seems random and nonsensical.

And then there’s the fight choreography. It’s…not great. The fights are either featuring people who have no idea what they’re doing, or featuring stunt people pretending to be the people who don’t know what they’re doing, so as to make it look like they do know what they’re doing. The worst is a fight scene between two women (Bell and Anderson) who are clearly not trained in martial arts of any kind, which proves humorous bordering on embarrassing. I’m pretty sure Anderson’s fighting style is called ‘The Sea Monkey’. Why did one woman punch TNT on the foot? So she could kick her fist, of course, but it looks positively idiotic. Bell is unintentionally hilarious in fights, with all of these wildly exaggerated hand flourishes that don’t mean a goddamn thing while her opponents swing and miss.

It manages to get itself off the bottom of the barrel in the genre (where “Dolemite”, “The Black Godfather” etc., reside) via a few noteworthy aspects. Whilst, I’ve ragged on the fight scenes, a few fight scenes actually stand out in a fun way. Although it’s pretty phony, the scene where Chiquito and Bell’s fight double take on a bunch of goons at a club is pretty enjoyable. Despite Leonard Maltin’s claim that ‘Bell’s shirts get torn off at the start of every fight scene’ (did he or his team even watch the whole thing?) there is only one such nude fight scene for Bell. However, it is the unqualified highlight of the entire film, and a one-of-a-kind movie moment. It’s a brilliant, ‘lights on, lights off’ fight that, whilst stolen from “Black Belt Jones” (but with added nudity) is probably worth seeing the film for, at least once. I also loved the cheesy stunt double-assisted gymnastics used to get TNT over a guarded wall. Oh believe me, the stunt person is bleedingly obvious, and it’s hilarious. Choreography-wise, the big fight between Shaw and Bell is easily Bell’s best (and there’s a great, if cheesy, bit of over-the-top violence that is kinda killer), but Santiago still insists on nonsensical overhead shots that just don’t work. The guy has no idea how to frame or edit a fight scene (nor how to effectively hide a stunt/body double), rarely getting us close enough to get a good look at the action. Maybe he should’ve filmed this in HK for real and met up with the Shaw Brothers. Bell’s not much of an actress in the lead, but thankfully Chiquito (apparently a well-known comedian in the Philippines who also dabbled in acting, politics, and sports!) does a lot of the heavy lifting, giving a fun performance. He also manages to look a bit better in fight scenes than most of the other actors. Stan Shaw has his moments, but this early performance is far, far from his best work.

I can usually take martial arts & blaxploitation films quite seriously. This one…not so much. And what’s with the pathetically abrupt ending? Did they run out of money? At the end of the day, you’ll want to see it if you’re a schlock cinema fan, but outside of the nudity, this is unlikely to satisfy blaxploitation fans or martial arts fans. I’m not saying it’s dull, it certainly isn’t, and that’s worth something I suppose. However, it’s extremely minor entertainment for the seriously undemanding. If all you want is boobs, the film probably gives you enough to satisfy I suppose. You’ll also get lots of bad acting and the most obvious stunt double in cinematic history next to “Spaceballs”. It’s still kinda worthwhile for a curio, but even then just as a curio and only once. I also think it was a missed opportunity not to have the tagline read: ‘She’s Dy-no-mite!’.

Rating: C