Review: Captain Fantastic

Viggo Mortensen is a father of six who has raised his kids out in nature free from technological and modern inanities and learning what he sees as the more important things in life (Ranging from Science, Literature, and Philosophy to knife-wielding skills and self-defence). The kids’ mother had to leave their camp when stricken by some kind of illness (which we soon learn is actually a mental, not physical illness), and it is her tragic death that coaxes Mortensen and the kids out to attend the funeral. A funeral her disapproving father (Frank Langella) vehemently forbids them to attend. Mortensen stubbornly and insensitively defies this request, of course partly because his Buddhist wife didn’t want a traditional ceremony. Mostly because the old man pisses him off, though. Kathryn Hahn and Steve Zahn play Mortensen’s sister and her husband who are a little more polite towards him, but are obviously weirded out by his very strict parenting style.

Some movies you’ll go with the journey quite readily, others will have you resisting to some degree. This idiosyncratic 2016 family drama from writer-director Matt Ross (mostly known as an actor, particularly on TV) put me off from the first unpleasantly graphic scene and never had me back on board. Others among you will wildly disagree with me on this, but I found myself at turns, put off by, in complete disagreement with, and in total disbelief towards what Mortensen and the kids said, thought, and did here.

The philosophy of the main character is founded on a valid idea: We do rely too much on technology. An Oscar-nominated Viggo Mortensen yet again proves how versatile he is with another very fine performance. But I found it very hard to swallow, both unbelievable and unpleasant. I mean, it’s too strange of a situation to be thrown into the middle of with no context and expect to find your bearings, not to mention highly unlikely. One person teaching a family of six including very young children (as young as 6 and 8!) how to rock-climb? On the real thing? Did Ross show this script to anyone before making the film? I’m not sure, but if he did, they must’ve been of a hive mind with him because I don’t think he’s seeing the Mortensen character the way I did at all. Less than 30 minutes in and not only was I put-off, I had pretty much checked out. I found the rock-climbing on its own insulting to my intelligence, and the rest didn’t much improve.

Before long I was even resisting Mortensen’s strident hippy-dippy disdain for consumerism and modernity. Hell, even when I initially enjoyed how he pushed his kids to think an argument through rather than offer simplistic one word non-answers, I ended up resenting him for basically using his older and more learned position to quash any threat to his own teachings/iron-fisted rule. These are kids and he’s being kind of a dick to them. Mortensen’s terrific, but the character is arrogant and very  condescending, which proves more of a problem the longer the film goes on. There’s an especially disgraceful act Mortensen commits in the last 20 minutes that I found unforgiveable. I don’t care if this film isn’t meant to be taken on an entirely literal level, it’s just wrong. I know why he does it, but two wrongs don’t make a right. And I think Ross does want us to see Mortensen as being right for the most part, especially with the pathetic ending. Nope, Mortensen’s heartfelt performance ultimately isn’t enough to bring me on side with the character at any point. I’m firmly with the characters played by Steve Zahn, Kathryn Hahn, and Frank Langella, who just think this is all absurd and potentially harmful. At the very least Mortensen plays an incredibly selfish person.

The film isn’t worthless, as Mortensen is well backed up by Zahn and Langella. It also has the occasional moment of humour. There’s a genuinely funny bit where they’re pulled over by a cop and pretend to be a Christian version of “The Partridge Family”. Meanwhile, it’ll take a keen ear to spot it but there’s an hilarious use of a particularly nauseating movie theme as supermarket muzak. There’s also an uncomfortable but admittedly occasionally amusing dinner scene with the always enjoyable Zahn…and two wildly different parenting styles. Otherwise, this is the kind of film where the main character replaces the commercialised Christmas with celebrating Noam Chomsky day. I’m sorry, movie but you and I just can’t hang. Hell, if IMDb is correct and Ross made the young actors sign a contract to not eat junk food while filming…the director and I definitely can’t hang. That’s some unnecessary bullshit right there, it’s just a movie after all. I was never convinced by anything in the film, despite Ross himself having grown up in a similar lifestyle. It’s got good performances and is good-looking, but this isn’t for me in the slightest. I’m the guy who thought the fella in “Into the Wild” was a reckless dickhead who earned his own sorry fate, and this film has a lead character almost as recklessly self-absorbed. Ross sets up too ridiculous and potentially harmful a parenting philosophy for a film where he ultimately wants to convince you that it’s workable.

Either too fantastical or not fantastical enough, this is an incredibly off-putting and mostly unenjoyable film that plays like if “Little Miss Sunshine” had been made by Wes Anderson instead. It’s not for me, but some of you will love this quirky anti-modernity family drama. Just be warned that Bambi’s mum gets gutted in the opening scene. 

Rating: C