Review: That’s What I Am
Nostalgic coming-of-age drama set in the sixties
with Chase Ellison playing a 12 year-old high school student just half a rung
ahead of the nerds and misfits in the school social standings. Ellison is
preoccupied with trying to win the affections of the pretty and popular Mary
Clear (Mia Rose Frampton, yes she’s Peter’s kid), who isn’t nearly as
unattainable as she first appears (i.e. Ellison’s just about the only kid she hasn’t taken for a pre-teen
twirl). His favourite teacher is English teacher Mr. Simon (Ed Harris), a
widowed, bowtie sporting man who assigns Ellison the task of teaming up with
the school’s biggest leper on a writing assignment. That leper would be
hulking, big-eared, red-haired Stanley, AKA ‘Big G’ (Alexander Walters).
Ellison, kind of an average kid at best, is unhappy with this potentially
humiliating pairing, but Mr. Simon says he believes Ellison has what it takes
to be a good writer, and so he reluctantly approaches the social pariah, who
turns out to be a surprisingly intelligent, sensitive young man as they decide
to write about ‘tolerance’ (Which annoys me because ‘acceptance’ is a much
better word if you ask me). The two bond, as Ellison sees how brave ‘Big G’ is
for having the obvious size and strength to fight back at the bullies, but
chooses not to stoop to their level. Meanwhile, a rumour starts to circulate
about Mr. Simon’s personal life, thanks to the bigoted and holier-than-thou
father (played third generation WWE anti-hero, Randy Orton) of one of the
school bullies. He alerts the school principal what his son (who was publicly
scolded by Mr. Simon for his bullying) has told him about the long widowed
teacher. If Mr. Simon isn’t removed, he’ll son out of Mr. Simon’s class, and
will alert all the other parents to what he ‘knows’. Rather than answer the
charges, Mr. Simon stubbornly refuses to answer Madigan when pushed, because
he’s a long-serving, well-liked and dedicated teacher. His record should speak
for itself, right? Daniel Roebuck plays Ellison’s hard-working, rather
demanding father, Amy Madigan is the principal, whilst Molly Parker is
Ellison’s more affectionate, compassionate mother.
Like “Legendary” before it, there’s nothing
particularly wrong with WWE Studios’ latest, except it’s not all that good. Oh,
it’s pleasant, watchable, and well-acted, sure. In fact, it’s probably a bit
better than “Legendary” and most other WWE Films for that matter. But make no
mistake, this 2011 drama from writer-director Michael Pavone (who subsequently
wrote and directed “The Reunion” for WWE Studios) hasn’t got an original
bone in its body. To be honest, there’s an awful lot of “The Wonder Years”
in this film, so I hope you liked that show. It’s my favourite show of
all-time, so whilst I’m annoyed at the plagiarism (and it sure as hell doesn’t
compare favourably), I have to admit, at least it’s kinda pleasant and
tolerable. It’s also the least likely project for a WWE film, let alone one
with a role for WWE Superstar Randy Orton, best-known for his on-screen persona
of danger, viciousness, complete unpredictability and mental/emotional
instability. And this applies to his runs as both ‘heel’ (bad guy) and his
current ‘face’ (good guy) stint, I might add. Oh, well, at least he’s somewhat
well-cast as a stern, homophobic father. I’m not sure if it is in league with
Orton the man, but that’s certainly in his range as a performer and he acquits
himself rather well. He might have a future in the acting world should he
choose to pursue one (please, no ‘Wrestling is Fake’ jokes, because ‘fake’ is
the wrong term, and will just look like an ill-educated fool). Mind you, it’s a
tiny role in the film, so let’s not call him Olivier or anything yet. He’s
decent here and in “12 Round 2” at least. Chase Ellison and the
big-eared Alexander Walters (the latter looking like Randy Orton with red hair
and no tan) are also fine in essentially the two lead roles, though Walters
looks like he’s 30 at least. Amy Madigan is fine as the fair-minded but
concerned principal, while even better is her real-life husband Ed Harris, in
one of his better performances of late as the popular and inspirational English
teacher. His Mr. Simon isn’t as memorable as some of the teachers past
(including some of the interesting teachers on “The Wonder Years”), but
he’s easily the best thing in the film. Molly Parker is well-cast as Ellison’s
loving and understanding mother, though not often called upon.
There’s no getting around it, this film owes way too much to “The Wonder Years”.
Yes, it comes with a ‘Based on a true story’ tag, but hey, so did “Fargo”
and how did that one work out? (Yeah, the Coen Brothers are lying fools). A
subplot involving getting an ID bracelet for a girl? That was in one of my
favourite episodes of the show. The harsh and cold (but probably loving in his
own way) dad critical of his son’s ability to mow the lawn? Check. The main
character being picked on by the school bully? Check once again. The main
character faced with all manner of obstacles on his way to meet a girl? Yup, “The
Wonder Years” did that one often as well. The main character forced to
interact with the biggest oddball in the school for an assignment? Margaret
Farquhar says hello to you, Mr. Pavone (who, by the way, comes from a
background writing and directing TV shows like “Everwood” and “Jack
and Jill”). Even the inspirational teacher targeted by the small-minded for
being ‘different’ has the faint whiff of an episode where a young, idealistic
teacher ruffled faculty feathers on “The Wonder Years”. We even get the
final image of a kid riding his bike through the neighbourhood as the screen
fades to black. That was just about every
episode of “The Wonder Years”, except here the closing song is the
aptly-chosen (but awful) ‘Teach the Children Well’. And yes, we even get the
nostalgic voiceover. On the TV show it was Daniel Stern, in this film it’s Greg
Kinnear. I really wouldn’t bring all of this up if there wasn’t so much of it
that could be located in that one specific TV show, but it’s true. It’s all
been done before on “The Wonder Years” (and to be fair, probably
elsewhere too like “Stand By Me” and “Mr. Holland’s Opus” among
many others). So whilst I can’t say this film didn’t keep me occupied for its
running time, I can’t say anything surprised or thrilled me.
This is stock-standard stuff, and if I wasn’t
naturally predisposed to enjoy such teenage nostalgia material, I’d probably
think even less of it. Actually, the kid who freaks out and starts whipping a
girl he thinks has ‘cooties’ was a new idea. I’d never seen that one before.
Kudos there, Mr. Pavone. It’s a reasonably well-made (if too squeaky clean for
some tastes), well-acted film that just frankly isn’t anything special if
you’ve watched TV or movies somewhere in the last thirty years or so.
Rating: C+
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