Review: Being John Malkovich

Lowly, loser puppeteer Craig (John Cusack) gets a gig as a filing clerk working for eccentric Dr. Lester (Orson Bean), operating out of the 7 ½ floor of a building (!) because the original owner’s wife was a dwarf. Anyway, the married Craig finds himself getting the hots for the office bitch Maxine (Catherine Keener) who wants nothing to do with him. That is until Craig discovers a hidden portal in the building. A portal that appears to lead inside the head of actor John Malkovich (!). You can only stay there for 15 minutes, but once Craig shows this to Maxine, she starts to soften up to him a bit. Hell, even Craig’s frumpy wife Lotte (Cameron Diaz) likes Maxine…a lot. A real lot. Meanwhile, John Malkovich himself starts to suspect something is going on, and isn’t remotely happy about his mind being manipulated like it’s an amusement park ride.

Unquestionably one of the cleverest, most original, and weirdest films of the last 25 years, it’s only unlikeable characters that hold me back from loving this 1999 Spike Jonze (director of the wonderful “Her”) film as much as some do. Make no mistake however, as scripted by the imaginative Charlie Kaufman (the excellent “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”, writer-director of the dense but fascinating “Synecdoche, New York”), it’s still laudable stuff. As nuts as it is, it’s well thought-out and written insanity, and you’re never sure where it’s headed next.

We get a very clever opening with John Cusack playing a loser puppeteer making the puppet basically do an interpretive dance routine. This guy’s ‘talent’ is a niche within a niche destined to entertain none bar himself. The usually likeable actor is remarkably convincing as a pretty unlikeable loser. I was never fooled by Cameron Diaz’s frumpy, frizzy appearance in this, but she slowly comes into her own as perhaps the most likeable of the central trio of characters. Once her character starts to assert herself and undergoes an awakening of sexual identity, the character becomes more interesting and appealing instead of just mousy, frumpy, and dull. I’ve probably underrated her previously in this. As for Catherine Keener, she became typecast very quickly after his, but she’s pitch-perfect as the office bitch. As the career woman with a line in acidic cynicism, she’s hilariously curt with loser Cusack. Meanwhile, the idea of a business that operates on the 7 ½ floor of a building is pure demented genius. The funniest thing about it? In order to get to the 7 ½ floor you have to jimmy the elevator door open raising the alarm. The ceilings are so damn low you’d need a chiropractor on staff, one would wager. Also priceless is Mary Kay Place as a partially deaf receptionist whose hearing is so bad she’s convinced her boss (Orson Bean) that he has a speech impediment!

This movie’s not like the others, folks. 20 minutes in and the film is already weird enough before we get to John Malkovich. It’s when Malkovich enters the picture that this thing really comes alive, because until then the behaviour of the frankly creepy trio of characters played by Cusack, Diaz, and Keener is a bit off-putting. Until Malkovich himself arrives, the film threatens to veer into arch, smugly self-satisfied Wes Anderson quirkiness. Nope, Jonze has something far more compelling, twisted, and original in mind. The choice of Malkovich for this specific film is priceless for a whole bunch of reasons. The whole thing would’ve collapsed had Malkovich himself not been interested in taking up the project. For me, he seems like the exact kind of actor who would be the most…bemused about his head being a vessel for others. Meanwhile, if you think Diaz having issues with gender/sexuality and falling in love with Catherine Keener (who only loves Diaz when Malkovich is involved) is loopy…just wait until Malkovich steps into his own mind. It leads to the most insane moment in a film that is all insanity all of the time…yet, it’s never unwieldy or out-of-control. Jonze and Kaufman aren’t stupid or untalented men, they’re demented geniuses with a viewpoint no one before or since has come close to. As nuts as it is, it’s well though-out and well-realised insanity leading to a finale that cleverly brings the puppeteering motif to an inevitable but interesting conclusion. Even the Charlie Sheen cameo is hilarious. Yes, it probably played better in say 2013-2015 than it does in 2018, but still the idea of Charlie Sheen and John Malkovich being friends cracks me up for some reason.

It may not be the most warm-blooded film you’ll ever see, but this is still a true original. As weird and inventive now as it was on original release, this is too demented not to enjoy. Have you done Malkovich yet?

Rating: B+