Review: Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films

Y’know, why shouldn’t Cannon Films get their own documentary? They’re a pretty important part of 1980s cinema, and a lot of famous names were a part of their films. Well actually, they have two documentaries made about the studio. However, this 2014 film from Aussie documentarian Mark Hartley is the only one I’ve thus far seen. Apparently it’s seen by Golan/Globus as too negative towards them, hence why they chose to appear in the rival documentary. However, I’ve gotta say it comes off as pretty accurate to me.

The thing with Cannon was that 90% of their output was crap (“King Solomon’s Mines”, “The Wicked Lady”, “Bolero”, “Cobra”, “Assassination”, etc.), 9% was mediocre (“Cyborg”, “Masters of the Universe”, “River of Death”, “Sahara”, “Lifeforce”, “Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2”), but that 1%? That was actually pretty good, and it wasn’t just their ‘prestige’/arthouse releases, either. Yes, the studio gave us all those awful Charles Bronson “Death Wish” pics, as well as Lou Ferrigno’s appalling “Hercules” films, and yes we also got a lot of shit from Chuck Norris too like “Invasion USA” and “Firewalker”. However, this is the same studio that gave us diverse enjoyments such as “Barfly”, the underrated teen comedy “The Last American Virgin”, the acclaimed action/drama “Runaway Train”, an early great Morgan Freeman performance in “Street Smart”, Jean-Claude Van Damme’s iconic “Bloodsport” (and the less iconic “Kickboxer” and “Cyborg”), and some pretty decent ninja flicks like “American Ninja” and “Revenge of the Ninja” too. Hell, even a couple of the Chuck Norris pics weren’t too bad, either.

Some of the fun here for me was discovering a few films from Cannon that I’d not even heard of, including the hilarious-looking “X-Ray” that I need to see. I certainly need to see “The Happy Hooker Goes Hollywood”, since it stars Martine Beswicke. The fact that she’s naked in it is of absolutely no concern to me whatsoever. Probably. Alright, you got me. I totally want to see it for that reason. I feel very sorry for poor Catherine Mary Stewart, but that won’t stop me from checking out the bizarre sci-fi musical flop “The Apple”, which looks like one of the best ‘worst’ movies ever made. Almost all of the names and faces you expect to see here are indeed here, including filmmaker/producer Boaz Davidson and Diane Franklin briefly talking about the unexpectedly affecting teen sex comedy “The Last American Virgin”, “Death Wish 3” co-star Alex Winter (who is hilarious) taking the absolute piss out of Cannon but making some valid points in doing so, and “Delta Force” villain Robert Forster making Golan-Globus sound like a pair of Roger Cormans, which they kinda do beg being compared to, albeit low-rent versions. You can see why Golan-Globus apparently reacted poorly to this documentary, as no one really seems to have many nice things to say about the Cannon founders, especially in regards to Menahem Golan. That said, I think Hartley’s film is actually rather charitable towards the low-rent all-horror-star “House of Long Shadows”, which even I hated, and while I have no idea what his original vision was, screenwriter Robin Sherwood rightly calls out “Death Wish II” for what we all know it to be: Reprehensible garbage. For a bit of balance we get “Death Wish 3” co-star Marina Sirtis not defending Golan-Globus, but somewhat defending director “Death Wish” series director Michael Winner as a filmmaker who makes money, if often sullying things with too much exploitation content, in films like “The Wicked Lady”. I love Deanna Troi as much as the next person, but the only thing that piece of period shit had going for it was you and Faye Dunaway going topless for a bit. And it was still tedious. So I’m not sure I really bought into the ‘balanced’ argument. I will say that while I found the early stuff dealing with mostly Cannon’s softcore sex comedy romps rather fascinating, the tidbit about “Emmanuelle” and “Mata Hari” star Sylvia Kristel’s substance abuse problems was perhaps not entirely necessary. That seemed somewhat of an uncalled for cheap shot. I also disagree with an assertion that Charles Bronson could not act. Watch “The Great Escape” and “The Magnificent Seven” and tell me he has no acting ability, thank you very much. It’s just that by the time Cannon swooped in on him, he’d lost the giveashit and was happy to collect the paychecks for a couple of decades. A bit like a certain former Mr. Demi Moore does now. Winter has a brilliant take on Bronson’s commitment to the product that pretty much illustrates my point. Meanwhile, an editor claims here that the Chuck Norris/Joseph Zito flick  “Invasion USA” was ‘prescient’. I have a few different words to describe it: One of the worst movies of the 1980s. We also get a look at the Dom DeLuise flick “Going Bananas” which also looks like one of the worst movies of the 1980s. At one point Franco Nero claims that “Enter the Ninja” ‘made’ Cannon. If so, I’d wager “Revenge of the Ninja” made Cannon better. That’s a seriously underrated movie, the best ninja movie I’ve ever seen. As for “Sahara”, I really don’t think it’s a bad film it just has the misfortune of featuring Brooke Shields, whose specific talent beyond the photogenic has yet to be detected. I also don’t believe anyone ought to have shat on Frank Langella’s Skeletor get-up in “Masters of the Universe”, because it’s one of the few things about that film I didn’t mind. Langella looked great, the film wasn’t. The discussion about “Hercules” is an interesting one, with star Lou Ferrigno wanting to make a family film, and exploitation veteran Sybil Danning correctly disagreeing with him. Instead it (and “The Adventures of Hercules”) just turned out to be terrible and laughable.

Inevitably we get to talking about the dance flicks “Breakin’” and its sequel that this film’s title references, the immortal “Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo”. I’ve yet to see either and must correct that thusly. Apparently the first film at least tapped into something that was going on at the time. As for the story behind the “Missing in Action” films, I’ve heard that before and yes they released the better film first. Look out for an appearance by Michael Dudikoff, who in 2014 looked about 5 years older than he did in 1988. Wow. Where does that dude go swimming, the pool in “Cocoon”? It’s probably worth seeing the film just to hear the story of how Sharon Stone was mistakenly hired for “King Solomon’s Mines”, and several talking heads proceeding to completely shit on her for being an awful pain in the arse. Yes, including Richard Chamberlain himself. The film also makes it abundantly clear why “Over the Top” was doomed from the start: Arm-wrestling.

Fascinating, if lightweight look at an important company in 1980s cinema, but not quite as insightful or irreverent as Hartley’s previous documentaries “Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation”, and “Machete Maidens Unleashed!”. It’s also not the most flattering look at the studio or its founders, but a lot of what is said is pretty damn accurate in my opinion. Worth checking out for film buffs in particular.

Rating: B-