Review: Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter

Murderer and hockey enthusiast Jason Voorhees (Ted White) contends with not only the usual assortment of horny Crystal Lake partygoers, but a young wannabe horror movie makeup artist named Tommy (Corey Feldman) and his older sister Trish (Kimberly Beck), who live with their freshly single mother (Joan Freeman). Peter Barton and Judie Aronson are the resident hot youngsters, Lawrence Monoson and Crispin Glover are the eager nerds, Bruce Mahler is a horny hospital worker, and E. Erich Anderson is a mysterious stranger in town.

Unless you count “Freddy vs. Jason”, there are no “Friday the 13^th” films wholeheartedly worth a recommendation (and even “Freddy vs. Jason” hasn’t aged especially well, to be honest). However, along with the underrated 2009 remake, this 1984 film from director Joseph Zito (the decent slasher “The Prowler”, Chuck Norris’ OK “Missing in Action”, Chuck Norris’ abysmal and un-OK “Invasion USA”) and screenwriter Barney Cohen (mostly a TV writer) certainly comes closest. I may loathe the series as a whole, but this one’s actually not bad. There’s a better-than-usual cast and Tom Savini (“Dawn of the Dead”) providing the rather notorious FX work.

This one has a bit of a “Halloween 4” vibe to it with Corey Feldman a slight precursor to what Danielle Harris provided in that film as a somewhat disturbed child with a weird connection to the killer. In Feldman’s case, he’s a horror movie fan and amateur make-up artist who fucks with Jason’s mind at the finale. You’ve even got a bit of “Halloween II” as “Police Academy” dork Bruce Mahler playing a horny hospital orderly. Some will probably find Feldman’s Tommy a creepy addition to the series. He wears horror movie masks and perves on chicks. My response? It’s a damn horror movie, and he’s the best thing in any “Friday the 13^th” film ever. All the bimbos and himbos getting caught having sex and sliced up tend to blend together. Tommy is something different and I liked that. To be honest, I think he’s probably more ‘normal’ than most kids. I know some people are really uneasy with putting a kid in a horror film, but my two favourite horror films involve kids (“The Omen” and “Child’s Play”), and I think it’s a good idea to have a child in a protagonist/potential victim kind of role (so long as it’s handled with a bit of taste) because by and large kids are super sympathetic, you’re always gonna worry for a child in danger. There’s an exploitative line you mustn’t cross of course, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it at all.

Most of the characters here are more likeable than usual, with Laurence Monoson playing the second geekiest character in the film since he’s lucky enough to be working alongside Crispin Glover. The one-of-a-kind actor is in fine form here, his dancing to some Survivor rip-off song is one of the single funniest things you’ll see. Of the girls, Judie Aronson will likely be the one you remember most, and yes that’s because she’s the most frequently naked in the film, not because of any character depth or lengthy screen time afforded to her. It’s a Jason film, it was the early 80s, so…yeah. The problem –and it’s the biggest problem with the film- is that there’s far too many characters. By the time soap actor Peter Barton (with Glover and Monoson et al), you realise there’s just too many moving parts to properly deal with (He also looks a good 10 years older than Monoson and Glover, I might add). 45 minutes in is too long to start killing off the characters, and there’s just too many of them running around in the first place (Did we really need that whole section with Mahler trying to get laid with the nurse?). You’ve got the kid, his sister, their mother, about 6 horny youngsters, and the mystery man who shows up. It’s good that some of the characters are interesting, but that’s still too many left alive after 30-50 minutes.

In addition to cutting down the character list, I probably would’ve liked Tommy to have been written to be more knowledgeable about Jason so that the finale makes a little more sense and isn’t quite so WTF? While I’m ragging on the script a bit (and believe me, it’s a better script than any of the other entries by far), I should also mention that adding a slight whodunit to the film and a potential red herring, is a bit dumbski. Jason Voorhees is the killer, we know this by now. Yeah, I know it started with his mum, and the next film also messes around with things a bit too, but c’mon, trying to add an element of mystery at this point is a bit silly.

On the plus side, this is the only film in the entire franchise that even gets close to doing what in my opinion a horror film should do: Be suspenseful, if not scary. Joseph Zito is a schlock filmmaker with a highly uneven record, but in this instance, he does manage a couple of moments of sustained tension in what is a very clichéd, run-of-the-mill franchise (and subgenre of horror). It’s surprisingly competent on that front, if a long way from being “Halloween” or “Black Christmas”. Having a few interesting characters definitely plays a part in that too, however. I also liked how he mostly keeps Jason off-screen early on save for his feet. Yes, I have issues with the red herring/whodunit thing, but on a visual level I kinda like that touch. As for the death scenes, Savini seems to favour (as does the entire franchise) knives/machetes to the neck/head, and there’s some pretty good stuff for gore-hounds on that note. There is one poor girl who happens to catch Jason in a lazy mood so he just throws her out of a window and onto the hood of a car. Ouch. The crown jewel is the much-discussed machete slide at the film’s finale, which is clearly the best segment of the film. Watching it again in 2019 was my first exposure to the uncut version of the film, so I was glad to finally see it and yes, it’s awesome if you’re into that kind of thing. Savini does a good job with the makeup there and the whole segment is rather disturbing.

Still not quite quality enough to fully endorse, this is still far and away the best of the original “Friday the 13^th” films due to casting, character, and even a tiny bit of suspense here and there. If you see only one film from this franchise, make it this one, though parts 3 and 5 and the remake aren’t dreadful, either.

Rating: C+