Review: Hero and the Terror

Police detective Chuck Norris, nicknamed ‘hero’ must once again take on his arch-nemesis, soulless serial killer Simon Moon (Jack O’Halloran), AKA ‘Terror’, when he escapes the mental institution to exact a reign of terror. Brynn Thayer plays Norris’ psychologist girlfriend, who is expecting their first child. Ron O’Neal plays the local mayor, Billy Drago is Moon’s shrink, and Murphy Dunne plays a theatre manager, with his recently renovated theatre having been Moon’s hideout for a while.

This mediocre Chuck Norris vehicle from 1988 directed by William Tannen (something called “Flashpoint”, with Kris Kristofferson and Rip Torn) for the Cannon Group is neither among his best (“Code of Silence”, “The Delta Force”), nor his absolute worst (“Firewalker”, “Invasion USA”, “The Hitman”) films. It’s notable only for a schlock supporting cast (all wasted), and the fact that it is co-written by Lance Rock himself, “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls” actor Michael Blodgett, from his own novel. Co-scripted by Dennis Shryack (“Pale Rider”, “The Gauntlet”, Norris’ “Code of Silence”), the film has one good idea: A killer who is all instinct and zero thought process. Plausible? No idea. Potentially frightening? Absolutely. Unfortunately, Blodgett and Shryack merely use this as an excuse for not giving the character any depth, and Chuck’s 2D character is the only one afforded even the semblance of depth in this. Then again, when you cast Jack O’Halloran as a villain (with the worst nickname ever, ‘The Terror’), you’re not looking for much subtlety or nuance, surely. He doesn’t look as massive as Richard Kiel or The Great Khali, but Tannen and cinematographer Eric Van Haren Noman do their best to make Jack O’Halloran menacing through the excellent use of shadows. So it’s a shame that he isn’t given the proper respect, character-wise, and winds up being surprisingly ineffectual in combat with Norris. He comes off more like a henchman (ala Prof. Toru Tanaka from “An Eye for an Eye”) than a real villain. I’d hate to see Norris and Steven Seagal fight, it’d amount to little more than shadowboxing. Although slicker and more competently staged, the film actually isn’t all that dissimilar to Norris’ earlier stinker “Invasion USA”. Remove the right-wing politics, replace terrorists with a serial killer, give Norris a knitted jumper instead of unbuttoned denim shirts, and tell me it ain’t the same.

Chuck isn’t a good actor at all, but I must admit, he’s not as bad as usual here. I found it funny when Chuck’s girl is giving birth that she’s so much calmer than he is. It’s a cliché, but I like that Chuck showed a bit more personality here. He also gives the single greatest press conference ever. Frankenstein’s monster was chattier. The action is barely there and uninteresting, but try to stifle your laughter when gazing upon the sight of serial action movie punching bad Branscombe Richmond (“Hard to Kill”, “Action Jackson”, etc) failing to outrun 40ish Chuck Norris shuffling slowly and uncomfortably in seriously tight jeans.

There was one or two moments I did like. The scene where the literally titular ‘Hero’ Chuck nonchalantly elbows a runaway thief whilst reading a newspaper on a street corner is an oldie but a goodie. Hilarious. The supporting cast has some interesting faces, though they’re all wasted. The late Steve James never quite got the action career I think he deserved, before his life was cut terribly short in the early 90s. Here though, he’s saddled with not so much the Second Banana role, but Fourth Banana at best! Seriously, Kung Fu Joe could’ve kicked Chuck’s arse any day of the week, but instead he’s stuck waiting around and saying to Chuck ‘Hey, if you need me...’ and ‘You sure I can’t help?’. Selfish bastard, that Chuck Norris. Never would help a brother out. I might’ve been imagining it, but it sounded to me like there was actually something wrong with James’ voice here, it’s a lot raspier here than I am used to. Anyway, it’s just a shame because if James were the lead here, the film would be infinitely better. Oh well, it could’ve been worse. At least he was never Harry Callahan’s partner in a “Dirty Harry” film. We all know how long they last. The action world is poorer without the great man, even though he was always the perennial sidekick. Ron O’Neal is another fine African-American actor whose talents aren’t much required here, as Da Mayor. He’s another damn fine actor lost to this world too soon. He is missed, and here he steals scenes by sheer charisma and presence alone. Like any great character actor, he takes a crap role and plays it like Shakespeare. Veteran sleazy bad guy Billy Drago (who passed away just recently) has one of his rare non-villain roles here, as O’Halloran’s psychiatrist. If nothing else, he proves he can do something other than slink and sneer menacingly. Fans of “The Blues Brothers” will want to take note of Murphy Dunne cast here as a theatre manager. I have no idea why he’s in this film, and I don’t think he does, either. Unfortunately he keeps popping up to an irritatingly superfluous degree. Who did he fuck to get such an intrusive cameo?

Apparently the novel is a lot more sexualised and sensationalised than what we get on screen. Sounds like it’s a lot more interesting, too. Ho-hum, slow-paced action/thriller with not enough action or thrills to entertain anyone but die-hard Mother Chuckers. A two-star film, no more, no less.

Rating: C