Review: Major League

Baseball team the Cleveland Indians haven’t won the big one in an age and a half (Fun fact, they did win in real-life a year after the release of “Major League II”). After the team’s owner dies, he is replaced by his ex-showgirl widow Rachel Phelps (Margaret Whitton). Phelps comes up with a scam to get the team (and herself) the hell out of Cleveland by picking a loser team and drawing a tiny crowd for the year. The appointed coach is a gruff minor leaguer (James Gammon) and the players chosen are a mixture of washed-up players, players who were never much good to begin with, and an assortment of weirdos, delinquents and egotists. This should be the easiest scam ever pulled. Unless the team somehow starts stringing some wins together and earning the respect of the crowd. Tom Berenger plays the old pro with dodgy knees, who wants to win back his ex (Rene Russo). Corbin Bernsen is the minor celebrity who doesn’t like to get his hands dirty and seems to be more at home on the golf course anyway. Charlie Sheen plays a recently paroled hoodlum with a wild swing that earns him the nickname ‘Wild Thing’. Wesley Snipes is the cocky fast runner who quite simply has no affinity for baseball whatsoever. Former ball player turned sportscaster Bob Uecker plays the latter role here, to somewhat overrated effect (Loved his work with Vanna White at Wrestlemania IV, however).

To baseball what “Wildcats” was to gridiron and the “Police Academy” was to law enforcement. This 1989 underdog sports comedy from writer-director David S. Ward (writer of “The Sting”, writer-director of “King Ralph”) gets better reviews generally than either “Wildcats” or any of the “Police Academy” films. I can’t claim to care much for “Wildcats” (or gridiron, which is a 90 minute game stretched to four interminable hours), but I’ll certainly defend “Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol”, and you can add me to the critical consensus of this film, too. It’s not a laugh riot by any stretch, and it’s far more of a Tom Berenger film than the Charlie Sheen vehicle I seemed to recall from my youth. However, it’s a likeable film with better performances than you’d probably expect for this sort of thing. I just wish we were allowed to be more invested in the baseball games themselves, which are briskly touched upon.

Essentially playing the film’s Captain Harris, the late Margaret Whitton (who became a theatre director after the 90s)  is pitch-perfect as the unscrupulous, undermining, ex-showgirl owner of the struggling team. Tom Berenger and a surprisingly terrific Corbin Bernsen are also pitch-perfect casting as respectively, the once-talented catcher with bad knees trying to win back his ex, and the vain schmuck ‘star’ player who doesn’t want to strain himself out on the field. Berenger scores well by pretty much playing his role straight and letting everyone else goof off around him (He does have a funny bit reading a comic book version of “Moby Dick”, however). In possession of one of the greatest gruff voices in cinematic history, the late James Gammon steals his every scene as the no-bullshit coach. Although at times he comes across more like Eddie Murphy than his own persona, “Wildcats” co-star Wesley Snipes is lively and fun as cocky Willie Mays Hayes, who can run fast but can’t hit the ball for shit. His funniest moment is when he wakes up with his bed thrown outside while he was sleeping: ‘Shit, I’ve been cut already?’.

Working far less successfully from a 2020 perspective are muscular voodoo-practitioner Dennis Haysbert and far too-old, racist cracker pitcher Chelcie Ross. Haysbert is perfectly fine in the part, but it’s an on-the-nose cultural stereotype that simply isn’t funny enough, whilst Ross also plays his role well, but at age 47 he looks at least a good 55 years-old. You’d never guess that Ross was only 7 years older than Berenger. At any rate, his character is a one-dimensional stereotype in an otherwise fun film. He and Haysbert do have one funny bit: On the flight from hell, Haysbert crosses himself and Ross admonishes him for coming to Jesus too late…while Ross is reading Hustler magazine.

The underrated and talented Rene Russo has her first big film role here, and you guessed it she’s playing the love interest to the film’s lead. Yeah, that tended to be the Rene Russo role, but as always she plays it so well that it feels like it’s more substantial than that. She’s definitely one of the best-ever models-turned-actors in my opinion. Charlie Sheen hadn’t quite gotten on the journey to insanity in 1989, but it’s rather curious how small his role is here. He’s well-cast as the team ‘bad boy’ but was frankly a lot funnier in the “Hot Shots!” movies than he is here. Barely getting a look-in after about 45 minutes, by no means a Charlie Sheen vehicle. In fact, one has to wonder if there’s a story behind-the-scenes as to why Sheen’s character isn’t more heavily featured. It feels like he should be more prominent.

“Police Academy” for baseball, this underrated underdog sports comedy has good performances, some moments of humour, and for the most part, likeable characters. An easy watch, and a pretty decent re-watch actually, but you do wish we got more than brief snippets of the games. Still, you end up wanting to see these misfits win in the end nonetheless so I suppose it does enough to work.

Rating: B-