Review: King of Thieves


Based on true events, a bunch of hardened but old-aged ex-criminals (Sir Michael Caine, nasty Jim Broadbent, deaf and gullible Tom Courtenay, unscrupulous Ray Winstone, and none-too-bright Paul Whitehouse) band together to pull off an unlikely major jewellery heist. Charlie Cox is the young fellow aiding them with his background in security/alarms, Francesca Annis is Caine’s ill-fated wife, and Michael Gambon plays the ‘fence’ who is doddering and incontinent. Meanwhile, there’s a decided lack of honour amongst these thieves, as is played out over the film’s second half in particular.



Yet another old codgers crime caper, this one with a real-life inspiration. Unfortunately, as directed by James Marsh (“Man on Wire”, “The Theory of Everything”) and scripted by Joe Penhall (“The Last King of Scotland”, “The Road”), it’s a pretty shoddy mess that wastes one heck of a great cast. Jim Broadbent’s delightfully nasty turn and the always solid Michael Caine, Tom Courtenay, and Ray Winstone (who went to school with the real-life person he is portraying) aren’t enough to liven this one up. It’s slow paced, and thanks to some far too rapid-fire technical dialogue related to the heist, rather incoherent at times too. Worst of all, the filmmakers seem unsure what kind of tone they’re going for. A lot of it is hardened crime stuff, but some of it seems to be comedic. Sadly the only funny bit comes from Michael Gambon’s first scene, which is priceless. Otherwise, it’s all over the shop, and you’re never really given a concrete reason as to why these old geezers felt the need to do this at their age. At least no reason that isn’t half-arsed (Boredom? Sorry, not buying that). Perhaps a documentary about the real-life incident would prove more compelling than this waste of time and talent.



Lethargically paced (and not just because the characters are old and slow), poorly scripted, and from a tonal standpoint, neither fish nor fowl. It’s not funny enough to be a comedy, and it’s too lightweight and poorly made to work on a serious level. What a disappointment, unless your idea of great fun is watching a bunch of old actors swearing a lot. That’s a couple of minutes of fun for me, at best. You won’t believe they could cock this one up with that on-screen pedigree, but indeed it’s a cock-up.



Rating: C-

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