Review: Follow Me

Keegan Allen plays a minor YouTube celeb who vlogs his supposedly wacky adventures with his friends (Siya and George Janko) and girlfriend Holland Roden. This time they’re travelling to Russia to explore an escape room that is apparently not nearly as lame as it sounds. They first go to a Russian nightclub with their Russian pal named Alexei, and get into a scuffle with some goons. Anyway, once in the escape room it proves to be very difficult and predictably deadly as our protagonists puzzle for their lives. Denzel Whitaker plays a buddy Allen hasn’t seen in a long time who tags along for the trip, Pasha Lychnikoff plays a sinister Russian bad guy.

 

Writer-director Will Wernick gives us another escape room film with this 2020 tedium. However, while Wernick is the man behind a film called “Escape Room”, he didn’t make the precise “Escape Room” film you’re probably thinking of. His one (which I’ve not seen) came out in 2017 and is in no way affiliated with the mediocre 2019 “Escape Room” co-starring Logan Miller which I (and perhaps you) did see. So anyway, this escape room film’s not much chop either, playing more like a blend of “Hostel” and “Saw II” without the graphic torture and not giving us much of anything else of merit either. Oh, and that dopey bottle puzzle from “Die Hard With a Vengeance” gets another run here too for fuck knows what reason (Quoting it doesn’t make it better, by the way Mr. Wernick). It does have a bleak and nihilistic ending, but much like the overrated film version of “The Mist”, the film doesn’t earn such an ending. For the most part the film is dull, unoriginal, and tame. And slow as hell. 20 minutes into a 90 minute film and we’re still not in the escape room yet. That’s at least 12 minutes too damn long for the plot to have not kicked in yet. “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “Wolf Creek” got away with thumb-twiddling in the first act by really getting intense in the second half. This film doesn’t give us that unfortunately because the filmmakers (or likely the chief studio behind it) wanted to get the widest demographic in to see the film and neuter the intensity as a result.

 

Lead actor Keegan Allen seems like a nice enough fella in real life from all reports, but his charisma and acting talents elude me. He gets immediately shirtless here, and I think that’s about the extent of what he brings to any role thus far in his career. He wasn’t interesting on “Pretty Little Liars” and his brand of sensitive dude bro-ism here isn’t terribly riveting either. He’s miscast in this supposed internet stunt/prankster role, Allen seems far too laidback for it. Interestingly, co-star George Janko actually is a bit of a social media personality, and one suspects he probably would’ve been a more comfortable fit in that role than the one he actually plays. Even then, the adventures that this character goes on and posts about online don’t seem remotely interesting. I know, social media is full of people posting their mundane bullshit, but c’mon. Co-star Holland Roden has something about her, but that something isn’t enough to really make an impact under these circumstances. Special mention must go to someone named Siya, who I’m told is some kind of hippity hopper. Good for her. She sure as shit isn’t any kind of actress though, and gives a wretched stereotype of a performance. The best actor here is actually Pasha Lychnikoff, whom you may remember as one of the Russian astronauts on Howard’s mission on “The Big Bang Theory”. As a nasty villain, he provides decent menace that gives the film the closest thing it has to being unsettling.

 

“Hostel” for YouTube nuts, with a bit of an escape room slant. This is pretty tame, lame, and forgettable stuff. Bland in the extreme, much like lead actor Keegan Allen. Even the puzzles are dull and derivative just like the film itself.

 

Rating: D+