Review: Crypto

New York fraud investigator Beau Knapp pisses off the CEO of OmniBank, who sends him on a pissweak errand back in his old home town. There he meets grunt-y ambivalence and contempt from his working man father (Kurt Russell), whose family farm is in financial dire straits. The estranged Knapp also gets outright hostility from his messed up ex-soldier brother (Luke Hemsworth) who resents him for leaving after their mother died 10 years back. While working at the local OmniBank branch, Knapp uncovers some criminality involving the Russian mob, as well as a Bitcoin scam among other sketchy local activity. Jeremie Harris plays Knapp’s old school chum who happens to be a hacker and Bitcoin savant. Alexis Bledel and Malaya Drew work for a local art gallery that seems to be knee-deep in criminal no-goodness. Jill Hennessy plays Knapp’s one ally at OmniBank.

 

Slow-moving, dull 2019 thriller from director John Stalberg, Jr. (who was a production assistant on “Executive Decision” starring Kurt Russell) has to its credit only a couple of decent performances by Jill Hennessy and Kurt Russell. Otherwise it takes 45 minutes into a 90ish minute film to get to the bitcoin stuff, and even then I didn’t understand a word of the jargon-heavy script. At one point the film even throws in the Russian mafia for no good goddamn reason.

 

Also not helping matters is the flagrant miscasting of skeezy-looking Beau Knapp as a supposed genius fraud investigator. He looks and sounds like a drug dealer, I’m sorry. In addition to having zero screen presence or charm he just doesn’t belong in this story. Even worse though, is an actress named Malaya Rivera Drew, who gives a horribly mannered, pretentious turn for a few scenes. Meanwhile, the script has three sets of hands on it for miniscule result: Carlyle Eubank (“The Signal”), David Frigerio (“The Signal”, “Wreckage”, with Aaron Paul), and Jeff Ingber (an EP on the film and first-time writer). Their resulting efforts are both clichéd and confusing.

 

There’s a market for films about cryptocurrency and auditing. I’m not that audience, but I’m pretty sure even those more financially savvy than me (i.e. Literally anyone else) will find this a pretty dreary, dry experience. It’s barely even about cryptocurrency for at least half its length. Skip it.

 

Rating: D+

 

Comments

  1. Totally agree--had to skip a lot of it.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, whatever they were going for it didn't work.

      Delete

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