Review: Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach

Cmdt. Lassard (George Gaynes) is set to receive a prestigious award in Miami, with the usual gang accompanying him. Also in Miami is Lassard’s local police sergeant nephew, Nick (Matt McCoy), as well as the perennially jealous Capt. Harris (G.W. Bailey) who wants Lassard to retire so he can assume command. Trouble comes in the form of diamond thieves led by Rene Auberjonois, who accidentally switched bags with Cmdt. Lassard at the airport and spends much of the film trying to switch back.

 

I’m not one of these cultural snobs who looks down on the “Police Academy” series, the ones who will begrudgingly claim that ‘the first one isn’t too bad but the sequels get progressively worse’. First of all, “Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol” is quite clearly the best in the series, not the first film. Also, aside from “City Under Siege” and especially the dire “Mission to Moscow” I think each of the other films has its moments, too. The people who scoff at the sequels will tell you that this 1988 film from director Alan Myserson (who has directed episodes of just about every 80s-90s show you can think of) and writer Stephen J. Curwick (“Police Academy 6: City Under Siege”) is one of the worst films because ‘even Steve Guttenberg turned it down’. Cute, but no. While I still maintain that “Citizens on Patrol” is the closest this series got to a good film, this one joins the first “Police Academy” on the next tier. It’s alright. There’s something likeably stupid about these films, even if some of the humour – good or bad – has dated, like the obvious ‘gay panic’ jokes the series indulged in for instance. These films mean no harm, at the end of the day.

 

George Gaynes is still terrific as the addle-brained Lassard, and G. W. Bailey is always good value as enemy/colleague Capt. Harris, with Lance Kinsey’s idiot underling Proctor even more idiotic than usual. In fact, I think Kinsey rivals Gaynes here for scene-stealer overall. Seeing Proctor’s joy at being on a plane with farm animals is genuinely funny. Although Matt McCoy is obviously a better actor than Steve Guttenberg, his blatant Mahoney substitute is pretty dull, as is Janet Jones (Mrs. Wayne Gretzky apparently) as his love interest. I don’t know if the role was actually meant to be Mahoney and re-written when Guttenberg declined, or simply a Mahoney wannabe, but either way he’s there to try to fulfill the same function. As dull as that character is, you actually don’t lose much from Guttenberg’s absence here, because Gaynes, Bailey, and human sound machine Michael Winslow are more important to the franchise in my opinion. I’ve always preferred David Graf’s gung-ho Tackleberry and Leslie Easterbrook’s bosom-y Callahan to Guttenberg’s smart-arse Mahoney anyway. Winslow’s Jones probably gets the best gag here, fucking with Capt. Harris at an airport metal detector. I loved that bit when I was 9 years old and still think it’s funny. Harris’ unfortunate tan line later in the film is another genuinely funny gag that still holds up for me. Winslow is an absolute genius in my opinion. Even the late Tab Thacker’s gigantic Tommy made me laugh with an admittedly very low humour gag causing a plane to swerve simply by moving to a seat on the other side. Our requisite villain this time is played by the usually fine and versatile Rene Auberjonois, who isn’t very well aided by dark hair and a tan, I’m afraid. There’s not much he can do with his virtual Wile E. Coyote villain, nor the talented James Hampton as the mayor or Miami. At least it’s not “Teen Wolf Too” though, I guess.

 

It's not the best “Police Academy” film, but it’s probably second or third behind “Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol” and maybe the first film. Likeable silliness, some of it’s funny, some of it isn’t but it’s watchable. Even the requisite fart gag is worth a chuckle. Skip the subsequent entries in the series, however.

 

Rating: C+