Shameless Self Expression

Marketing/merchandising expert James Coburn is enlisted to join the team for athlete Goldine (Susan Anton) who hopes to win three sprinting gold medals at the upcoming Olympics in Moscow. However, Goldine (AKA Goldengirl) is no ordinary track athlete. Her German scientist adoptive father (Curd Jurgens) has designed and moulded her from birth to be a super athlete. Hormone injections included. John Newcombe plays another client/creation of Jurgens, a tennis pro. Robert Culp briefly turns up as a sports announcer, Leslie Caron is a shrink, Harry Guardino and Michael Lerner play two of the businessmen with an investment in Goldengirl.   Directed by Joseph Sargent ( “The Taking of Pelham One, Two, Three” but also “Jaws the Revenge” ), this 1979 box-office flop is so bad, it’s a lucky thing hardly anyone has seen it. Scripted by John Kohn ( “Reach for Glory” ) from a Peter Lear novel, it’s not only incredibly boring, it’s truly embarrassing. I’ve never seen a film seemingly destine...

The story of two elderly sisters living in a seaside home, tempestuous Bette Davis and the more genial Lillian Gish (93 years-old at the time). The sisters are occasionally visited by an aging, salt-of-the-earth caretaker (Harry Carey Jr.), a neighbour (Ann Sothern), and even romantic Russian immigrant Vincent Price, who is currently down on his luck.   Almost the entirety of cinematic history up to its release date is on show here making this small, otherwise not terribly significant 1987 film a must-see. I’m normally of the belief that script is king, and here the screenplay by David Berry (no further or prior film credits) lacks a compelling story and very clearly shows its stage origins. As directed by Lindsay Anderson ( “This Sporting Life” , “If…” ), I really shouldn’t like this film, if you’ve read my criticisms before about ‘stagey’ films. Not a lot happens here. And yet, 100+ years of cinematic history is right there before your eyes. It’s a rare case of being captiva...