Review: Shattered

Rich tech guy Cameron Monaghan lives in anti-septic isolation, and he seems just fine with that. One night he meets the alluring Lilly Krug and before you know it, it’s Marvin Gaye time. After Monaghan gets injured, Krug moves in to nurse him back to health. Yeah, that’s a bad idea. Unfortunately for Monaghan, Krug has a scheme in mind. Oh, and she’s also a nutjob. There’s that too. John Malkovich turns up as a pervy landlord, and Frank Grillo turns up as a character I can’t tell you about but you can probably guess which side of the fence he’s on.

 

Despite that unoriginal title and an equally uninspired plot, this 2022 thriller from ham-fisted director Luis Prieto (“Kidnap” with Halle Berry) somehow managed to attract a few decent names among the cast. John Malkovich and Frank Grillo are even credited as producers in addition to being among the supporting players in the cast. Don’t be fooled, this is so bad, so lazy, and so old-hat that its presence is a damn-near offence. I’m not remotely surprised that it comes from the screenwriter who also worked on “Money Train” and “Lakeview Terrace”, two generic, clichéd affairs, as well as the reviled “Star Trek V: Kirk Directs”. Hell, the combo of those three underwhelming credits says almost everything. Obviously Malkovich and Grillo saw this as a way to make a few bucks, with co-star Lilly Krug’s mother, actress Veronica Ferres co-producing as well. They’ve all conspired to give us a generic 90s erotic thriller, only worse than most.

 

Miscast lead Cameron Monaghan looks bored and uncomfortable making like Mickey Rourke (who wasn’t any good in this kind of thing either), whilst Ms. Krug seems to be imitating the type of performance she’s supposed to be giving. There’s a difference. The gear-turning is readily visible, and I doubt Ms. Krug has a terribly bright future in cinema. She’s not helped by the embarrassing dialogue in the script by David Loughery (who also worked on the underrated 1993 version of “The Three Musketeers”, by the way). Supposedly sexy, it makes “50 Shades of Grey” seem like Shakespeare. Also not helping is the dreadfully slow crawl of the plot, 30 minutes feels like 90 minutes. Meanwhile, sorta playing a less scrupulous version of Richard Farnsworth in “Misery” (or Scatman Crothers in “The Shining”) John Malkovich is a mixture of crushing boredom and trying his best not to be noticed, with a sort of half self-amusement. He definitely knows this is a piece of shit. The funny thing is, he’s the only source of any amusement/entertainment here at all, slight as it is. The film would be unbearable without him, it still sucks with him. After nearly an hour, Frank Grillo turns up too, and probably shouldn’t have bothered. He’s well-cast and gives the film more than it deserves, but it’s far too late.

 

Quality be damned, let’s just make a quick quid with any old shit, yeah? Yeah, emphasis on the ‘old’ and ‘shit’. Easily one of 2022’s worst films, one and all involved are just lucky that the year also featured “Moonfall” and the “Hellraiser” re-jig. Awful and outdated by about 25 years.

 

Rating: D