Review: The Giant Gila Monster

 

Local young mechanic Don Sullivan and sheriff Fred Graham look into the mysterious disappearance of locals and other weird happenings. The culprit is the title beast. Shug Fisher plays the town drunk.

 

The furthest thing from a good movie, and not quite bad enough to occupy the other end of the scale, this cheap 1959 creature feature from director Ray Kellogg (“The Killer Shrews”, co-director of the infamous “The Green Berets”) is in the frustratingly ‘meh’ category. Scripted by Jay Simms (“The Killer Shrews”), what we’ve got here isn’t a B-grade or Z-grade film, but a forgettable C-grade one. FX wise what they’ve done is take a normal bearded lizard and blown it up large. The funny thing is that while the Gila Monster and the Mexican bearded lizard (the latter is what we actually have here and larger than the former) are venomous creatures, it’s not remotely threatening or terrifying on screen here. Yet I could name several other similar creatures that would at least look like a more credible menace even if they aren’t actually as dangerous. Go figure.

 

The budget actually isn’t the major issue here, the problem is it has more talk than energy and thus isn’t that much fun. Kellog’s direction just isn’t good. Look at the flat and underwhelming finale. Also look at the irrelevant dance hall scene where the room is so small and so jam-packed with kids they barely have room to dance. I’m actually surprised the boom mic wasn’t visible at some point. If I were the cast here I’d be pissed at the director (whose background is in ‘special photographic effects’) and screenwriter. They’ve served up too much talk, and not enough monster action and it’s death to a film like this, especially when the actors aren’t good enough or charismatic enough to compensate. Except perhaps Shug Fisher, who at least has a Hank Worden meets ‘Gabby’ Hayes quality that is more fun than anything else here. The rest of the cast are somewhat competent and likeable, but nothing special. Lead actor Don Sullivan probably fares best of the youngsters I suppose, but if he thinks he’s Frankie Avalon he’s definitely not. At one point he sings the least-cool, least-appropriate song for a teenage dance scene, and let’s just say I’m not surprised he quit the entertainment industry for a career in science.

 

Back to the effects, as amusingly silly as it is in execution, I like the idea of seeing the monster’s giant claw in shadow descending upon its victims. The director doesn’t quite pull it off, but it’s not incompetent either. What it suggests is a filmmaker who has half an idea of what to do, but not quite the skill to execute it properly. I admire his attempt in trying to get around the budget limitations nonetheless.

 

Just watch the super serious trailer instead. It’s got all the fun bits in a fraction of the time. No one wants to watch a mediocre monster movie, they’re the worst kind. Basically “The Blob” with a lizard, it’s not awful, not good, not worth seeing.

 

Rating: C