Review: The Decline of Western Civilisation Part II: The Metal Years

I’d seen snippets of the infamous Chris Holmes interview but this was my first time watching this 1988 documentary (or is it a mockumentary?) from filmmaker Penelope Spheeris. I wasn’t impressed with the pathetic display from Holmes, and I’m even less impressed having learned that a lot of what we see here in this film is either fake or elements are staged by Spheeris. A documentary on the 80s glam metal scene in L.A., Spheeris has confirmed some of the moments depicted here were staged, the artists involved have claimed some of it was staged too. For instance, Holmes mostly had pool water in that vodka bottle. However, if you think all this means I’m going to put Spheeris on blast for making a fake documentary that mocks the mid-80s L.A. glam metal scene unfairly you’ve stumbled onto the wrong review, my friend. These posers (some high profile posers, I might add) still agreed to be presented in this way and deserve a lot of the blame. Staging/editing and substance abuse can only take so much of the blame.

 

Whatever your music taste, whatever your opinion on this chapter in rock ‘n’ roll, this does present a fascinating time capsule here and there. As a fan of glam metal/hair metal to some extent, I’ll defend a lot of the music output of this period. Yes, I own several Poison and Bon Jovi albums and unashamedly so. Unfortunately, Spheeris chooses to focus more on the low-level posers and acts who never really made it to stardom even fleetingly. Is Spheeris focussing on the posers and morons to make fun of the entire Sunset Strip rock/metal scene? Or is it just that the scene really was predominantly full of posers and morons? Maybe and yes, would be my answers to those questions. Agenda or not, the music I grew up on (or at least some of it, there were a sprinkling of other genres in the mix in my childhood/teen years too) really does not come off well here to the point where one of the most insightful voices is that of Ozzy Osbourne. 80s Ozzy Osbourne at that. Cooking breakfast no less. Ozzy. Yes, the late great Prince of Darkness. He’s remarkably mild-mannered, sane, and coherent here and we also get some sanity from the likes of Alice Cooper, Lemmy from Motorhead, and most surprisingly Dave Mustaine. Yeah I’m surprised too, but he comes off well I have to say which is more than I can say for the airhead metal fans Spheeris chooses to interview for the film. They present the fandom in the most facile, negative light imaginable. As do a lot of the musicians here unfortunately, and I’m sad to say that includes a childhood favourite of mine C.C. De Ville of Poison, though I wasn’t surprised by that. I know the history. Bandmate Bret Michaels accounts himself quite well by his iffy standards, but C.C. is clearly already in a drunken, coked-up moron haze here. Thankfully he eventually turned things around in the decades to follow.

 

The biggest tool of anyone here among the familiar faces (unless you count musician/TV host Riki Rachtman who is eye-rolling at a time when he was a mere club owner) is unsurprisingly a member of KISS. However, it’s actually Paul Stanley instead of Gene Simmons being the chief douche for once. Shot lying on a bed surrounded by hot chicks like he thinks he’s…Gene Simmons, Stanley comes off so douchey here that he makes Gene (filmed in a lingerie store, of course) look considerably better, a seemingly impossible task. When Gene talks about groupies here I kinda laugh with him because at least he’s being authentic, we know Gene’s a pants man. With Paul I’m rolling my eyes at what a try-hard he is. Also coming off poorly are a clearly still-struggling Steven Tyler and Joe Perry of Aerosmith (who aren’t metal and shouldn’t be here). They’re both freshly sober but in very foul moods here, with Perry coming off like a total dick in particular. Their attitude here sucks, though they are certainly open about their drug use and acknowledge they feel better now they’re clean. Still, if you believe the spin over the years that the line ‘or who you’re gonna love by your lover’ in their hit ‘Dude (Looks Like a Lady)’ is inclusive, their comments in interview here betray that sentiment. Another moron here is actually not a musician but a supposed probation officer trying to ‘de-metal’ people. Spheeris shouldn’t have interviewed her, it adds nothing and I hope they’re both suitably embarrassed about it today.

 

Let’s talking about the lesser-known musicians here, since that’s Spheeris’ preference. Lizzie Borden aren’t exactly an unknown band, and they perform a fairly decent cover of Steppenwolf’s ‘Born to Be Wild’, but they carry on like low-level poser dicks unfortunately. Faster Pussycat, another band I was at least familiar with in passing perform a song (‘Cathouse’) that sounds so much like Motley Crue’s ‘Kickstart My Heart’ (from the following year) I’m surprised they didn’t try to sue the better-known glam metal titans. Then again, Motley Crue stole/re-used the beginning of that song from a Montrose song in the first place. Faster Pussycat also perform ‘Bathroom Wall’ and to be honest it’s one song too many from them, Spheeris spends way too much time with these guys given how frankly mediocre they are on evidence here. I actually preferred a band called Seduce, whom I’d never heard of before. They seem reasonably talented at least. The worst music on show by far is from a Guns ‘n’ Roses rip-off called Odin, the similarity isn’t subtle and they’re truly embarrassing (Oddly enough GnR themselves had to pull out of the film and were replaced, but not by Odin, by the aforementioned Seduce).

 

Also embarrassing, yeah let’s get to the elephant in the room. The interview with Chris Holmes from W.A.S.P., an underrated metal band in my opinion. Whatever was staged or not, this man is clearly despondent and it’s both embarrassing and just plain sad. It’s hard to watch to be honest. Worse, his mother is right there poolside watching her son waste away for a documentary audience to see. It’s amazing that he eventually recovered and is still alive today, thankfully. Perhaps there’s something to be said for not being in a band with Blackie Lawless. Look, not everyone is meant to get along, I’m not just being snarky here.

 

Speaking of controversy, this is one of the most incriminating, non-Me Too era documents you’ll ever see, again staged or not. The mid-to-late 80s was a very different time for sexual politics, and the sleaze is pretty much on full display here. A feminist document this film is absolutely not. Eventually we get the anti-drugs PSA sentiment, with the likes of Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Lemmy, Ozzy, and Alice Cooper talking about substance abuse. Gene and I believe Paul as well are both non-drinkers and non-drug takers, while the other three are talking from first-hand experience. I’m glad this segment is included because it at least shows that not everyone in the scene was a drug-addled moron, or at least that they lived and learned from it. It’s just hard to take Stanley seriously when he looks like such a wannabe chick magnet here. It really says something that Dave Mustaine of all people comes off by comparison as humble and even almost likeable. Almost.

 

This honestly just isn’t very good, and I’m still a fan of some of this music today. There’s some dishonesty in the staging, and there’s an awful lot of embarrassing posers making a mockery out of what was occasionally very good music. Spheeris spends way too much time here with boring no-name bands who have nothing to say and don’t perform anything of note, no pun intended. The good stuff here only adds up to about 15 minutes of screen time. This time capsule is best forgotten.   

 

Rating: C-