Review: Pearl

Set multiple decades before “X”, Mia Goth stars as Pearl whose husband (Alistair Sewell) is off fighting in WWI. Pearl is stuck doing chores for her humourless mother (Tandi Wright) and tending to her decrepit, disabled father (Matthew Sunderland), whilst dreaming of being a dancer and leaving the family farm. Pearl also starts seeing a projectionist (David Corenswet). Oh, and she’s also coming apart at the seams and on the verge of a homicidal rampage.

 

You’re either on the same wavelength as director Ti West and co-writer/star Mia Goth or you’re…me. Yeah, I’m gonna annoy you today, apologies in advance. Seriously, I hated this 2022 film before the end of the opening credits. That’s a new record for me. Mr. West needs to learn that if you put ‘starring’ before every actor in the credits, you diminish the meaning of that word. Meanwhile, the colour, font, and music gave off Douglas Sirk vibes a little too much for my palette, and Mia Goth’s performance is far too ‘put-on’. Again, this was before the end of the opening credits.

 

I’m sure West and Goth thought they were super clever here blending “The Wizard of Oz” (one shot is a direct steal), Douglas Sirk and horror movies, but I found the entire experience overdone and annoying. Imagine John Waters and David Lynch combining to remake Tobe Hooper’s “Eaten Alive” as a musical and throwing Lizzie Borden in as the lead character. That’s this movie, and it probably appeals to a lot of people who praise films like “Eraserhead” and “Mandy” simply for being weird and a little different. I need more than different. It also needs to be good, and like those two films this isn’t anywhere near good (if the most palatable of the three perhaps). Hell, I don’t even think it’s that different. If you think about it, to make another cinematic comparison the film is just Amish “May”. Both are female names as movie titles, both are social outcasts with unusual upbringings etc, both are essentially horror movies. One of them is a very good movie, the other one is whatever the hell this thing is. The character in “May” was eccentric but still felt pretty real, you felt something for her, and the film was also darkly funny at times. Pearl is a boring caricature played boringly by Goth (who I liked in “Infinity Pool” for at least the majority of its length), with a put-on cornfed ‘aw shucks’ accent that gets old instantly. When she runs down a list of her flaws, I couldn’t help but agree with all of them. Was I supposed to enjoy watching her torture animals or take baths in front of decrepit relatives? ‘coz that’s mostly what we get here. The majority of the first hour should’ve been done in half that time. This thing is snail-like in its pacing. It’s one-note and repetitive, and Tandi Wright is particularly appalling as Pearl’s mother.

 

I love horror movies but I didn’t see any entertainment value here. I can appreciate some of the artistic quality even though I think it’s completely overdone. Entertainment, though? Where? Why? 93% and 83% on Rotten Tomatoes tells me I’m wrong about this one both with critics and audiences. That’s OK guys, you can have this movie. You’re welcome to it. I don’t need to be a part of this particular cult. It’s just not my thing, but I need to score accordingly to my personal taste/viewing experience.

 

Rating: D

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Review: Jinnah

The story of Mohammed Ali Jinnah (Sir Christopher Lee) the politically moderate founder of Pakistan. A Muslim lawyer, Jinnah fought to form a separate nation from India for the Muslim minority, whilst Mahatma Gandhi (Sam Dastor) wished for India to stay united and proposed Jinnah as the new PM as a compromise. James Fox plays British viceroy Lord Mountbatten, Indira Varma plays Jinnah’s wife, and veteran bit player Vernon Dobtcheff plays a British dignitary.   Although Christopher Lee’s title performance received some critical notice and the actor himself was very proud of the work, this modestly budgeted 1998 biopic from director Jamil Dehlavi ( “Immaculate Conception” with Melissa Leo) and co-writer Farrukh Dhondy ( “Red Mercury” with Stockard Channing and Ron Silver) was largely ignored at the time and still very little-known today. Part of that is probably due to the poor marketing of the film, and difficulty in finding a distributor. It’s hard to get people to talk abo...
Read more

Review: Bloodbrothers

Detailing the trials and troubles of a working class Italian-American family, where brothers Paul Sorvino and Tony Lo Bianco try to persuade the latter’s sensitive son (a slightly too old Richard Gere) to join them in the construction business. Gere has more of an interest in working with kids, and gets a job offer by doctor Floyd Levine at the local hospital. Dad of course, sees social work as woman’s work, and belligerently disapproves, but he gets some support from his waitress girlfriend (played by Marilu Henner). Meanwhile, Lo Bianco’s frustrated wife Lelia Goldoni has become mentally unstable and her lashing out at their youngest son (Michael Hershwe) has led to his anorexia. Kenneth McMillan plays a disabled bartender, whilst various well-known character actors and faces play construction workers (Danny Aiello, Robert Costanzo, Eddie Jones, etc). This 1978 Robert Mulligan ( “To Kill a Mockingbird” ) tale about a seriously dysfunctional Italian-American family is too broadly ...
Read more

Review: Cinderella (1950)

The story of poor young Cinderella (voiced by Ilene Woods), treated as a servant by her nasty stepmother (voiced by Eleanor Audley), and dismissed by her thoroughly rotten, ugly stepsisters. Her only friends are a group of mice, who are forever being menaced by a cat named Lucifer (or as I call him, Grumpy Cheshire Cat). The King (hoping to find a wife for his charming son) is throwing a ball and every available young woman is invited to attend, and Cinderella is most excited to go. However, her stepmother and stepsisters do all they can to prevent this from happening. But with help from the mice and one fairy godmother (voiced by Verna Felton) later, and Cinderella looks set to attend the ball. You know the rest, folks.   Lovely 1950 Disney animated movie from directors Clyde Geronimi ( “Peter Pan” , “Lady and the Tramp” ), Wilfred Jackson ( “Fantasia” , “Alice in Wonderland” , “Peter Pan” ) & Hamilton Luske ( “Pinocchio” , “Fantasia” , “Peter Pan” ), that is a bit t...
Read more