Review: Sakura Killers



Deadly rogue ninjas of the title steal a secret video tape (!) containing top-secret info about genetic splicing (!), and it’s up to The Colonel (Chuck Connors, yes that Chuck Connors) and his two martial arts buddies George Nicholas and Mike Kelly to retrieve the tape before evildoings take place.


Pathetically cheap, abysmally acted, and mostly boring 1987 ninja movie directed by Richard Ward wastes talented character actor Chuck Connors (“The Big Country”) in a tacked-on, glorified cameo. He’s actually not very good in it anyway, clearly picking up a pay check in the latter part of his career.


The martial arts finale, featuring colour-coded ninjas and the like isn’t too bad (I love how they seem to burrow through the dirt before springing out to kick arse. Very cool, if improbable. Loved the spooky devil masks too), but in order to get to that...well, don’t bother. It stinks. Calling it amateurish would be an insult to talented amateurs. The screenplay is by David Marks, George Tan, and Dusty Nelson, featuring a pretty dopey plot (A secret video tape? WTF? I know it was the 80s, but c’mon...). I’m surprised the names Cannon or Golan-Globus weren’t to be found in the credits. This is just about the only shithouse Ninja flick they weren’t involved in


I am still yet to see a good ninja flick, by the way. Even “American Ninja” and “American Ninja 2” merely watchable, and this most certainly isn’t worth your time.


Rating: D

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