Review: Number One With a Bullet
There have been some good ‘buddy teams’ out there over the years in the
action-comedy genre, Gibson-Glover (“Lethal Weapon”) and De Niro-Grodin
(“Midnight Run”) among them. Carradine-Williams are perhaps one of the
worst examples, as this cheap Jack Smight (“Harper”, the excellent “No
Way to Treat a Lady”, the all-star “Midway”) flick from 1987 proves
for 90 odd minutes. Did I mention that it’s a ‘buddy cop’ entry from The Cannon
Group? It certainly looks like a
Golan-Globus ‘special’.
The cast looked interesting on paper, especially the supporting cast:
Valerie Bertinelli (from a plethora of TV work), Peter Graves (Capt. Oveur
himself), Doris Roberts (Ray Romano’s TV mum), and Mykelti Williamson (Bubba!).
But then you see the film and...ugh. Casting the silky-smooth Lando Calrissian
(Billy Dee Williams) as the sidekick and Lewis Skolnick (Robert Carradine) as
the lead, is just one of many problems with this film, but is certainly a good
place to start. Carradine is just flat-out miscast and completely goofy. It’s
not just that he was in “Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise” the
same year (and hey, it’s not a bad sequel, actually), but it certainly doesn’t
help. The guy seems to be under the impression he’s Don Johnson, but
unfortunately is closer to Don Rickles. Except Rickles has his fans (I’m not
one of them, though), I can’t imagine anyone liking Carradine’s work in this.
In fact, he’s the third Carradine I’d cast in the role behind Keith and David
(in that order). Williams is better, but being pushed into the background in
favour of Carradine is to no one’s advantage. Williams barely even has any
character to play. Meanwhile, they spend way too much of the film cracking wise
without being funny. The only amusing thing in the whole film is Carradine’s
attempts at cock-blocking Williams by claiming he’s got sexual dysfunction
issues. Yes, that’s the height of this film’s sorry wit, and Williams appears
to realise it, looking totally bored.
As far as action goes, this is an amazingly lifeless film lacking in any
energy whatsoever. I don’t think even Richard Donner (“Lethal Weapon”, “Superman”,
“Ladyhawke”) could’ve done much with this sorry, woefully clichéd
script, but some energising action scenes might’ve at least kept me awake. That
interesting supporting cast? Totally wasted. Graves gives the best performance
in the clichéd role of the captain, whilst Doris Roberts plays Robert
Carradine’s needy mother in exactly the same manner she’d later play Ray
Romano’s needy mother. I hate her on that show and I hated her here too. I
can’t stand the woman. Am I alone in this? Bertinelli, meanwhile, is given the
worst and most extraneous role in the entire film. I’m no fan, but she’s
certainly above playing the fed-up ex-wife of douchebag Carradine, that’s for
sure.
The film really doesn’t offer anything worthwhile, unless your idea of
entertainment is spending 90 minutes trying to figure out what parts of the
script are the work of Jim Belushi (who co-wrote the thing). Because sadly,
that’s what I ended up doing. I’m pretty sure all the jazz stuff was Belushi’s
input, and indeed the film might’ve been a bit
better if it was Belushi interacting with Williams and Bertinelli (he got
his chance to be in a buddy-cop flick the next year in the underrated “Red
Heat”). The screenplay is by Gail Morgan Hickman, Andrew Kurtzman (“Down
Periscope”, the underrated “See No Evil, Hear No Evil”), Rob Riley,
and the aforementioned Belushi.
Sorry, but this cheap buddy-cop flick is completely lousy. A waste of
everyone’s time, unless you absolutely have to see every ‘buddy cop’ flick ever
made.
Rating: C-
Comments
Post a Comment