Review: Hunt to Kill

Former WWE/F superstar Stone Cold Steve Austin stars as a mudhole-stompin’ border patrol guy in Montana, near the Canadian border. He’s had a rough trot of it lately, with a partner being killed on the job (Bye bye, Eric Roberts), and a rebellious teen daughter to look after (Marie Avgeropoulis). Things get even worse when he and his daughter are taken hostage by a bunch of thieves, led by Gil Bellows, and experience tracker Austin is forced to guide them through Montana woodlands. Apparently their former leader (Michael Hogan) screwed them, taking off with the loot from their latest job and heading out into the woods. Gary Daniels and Michael Eklund play henchmen, and Donnelly Rhodes is the local sheriff.

Ever wondered what “Cliffhanger” would be like if it starred Steve Austin and that guy from “Ally McBeal” instead of Sly Stallone and John Lithgow? Well this 2010 action flick from Keoni Waxman (Seagal’s rather decent “The Keeper”) comes pretty close to giving you that experience. It’s not as good, of course, mostly due to Gil Bellows’ completely unthreatening turn as the least effective action movie bad guy since Eric Bogosian in “Under Siege 2”. Like Bogosian, Bellows is having fun being flippant, but he’s the only one enjoying it. A guy as imposing as Stone Cold Steve Austin needs someone on the antagonist’s end to match up with him, and I’m sorry, but TV actor Bellows doesn’t cut it. Austin could stomp a mudhole in him anytime, and the audience will get frustrated with the fact that he takes so long to do so. Cast Scott Adkins, Michael Rooker (for a “Cliffhanger” connection perhaps) or Michael Jai White in the Bellows role and you don’t have that problem. Keeping the “Ally McBeal” theme, Peter Freakin’ MacNicol is more threatening than Bellows. Every time Bellows is on screen, I was seeing dancing babies. Sorry, but it’s true. It’s almost enough to make you wish Eric Roberts was still in the film past the opening scene. At least he can play dangerous villains, even if I’m sick of him doing so in exactly the same manner every time (He’s a good guy here, though). Such a shame that in his best performance in years and a rare good guy role, that Roberts is in and out so quickly (before the opening credits!). I guess he owed someone money. Yeah, Roberts looks like the type.

I really think Stone Cold deserves better than the films he stars in. Mind you, I rather like that he was a Border Patrol agent here. Who the fuck would dare cross the border that was being patrolled by Stone Cold? No way on Earth would I be that dumb. Having said that, the role does have the faint whiff of Chuck Norris about it, don’t you think?

Credit where it’s due, the plot is entertaining, if completely unoriginal. It keeps you watching, even if you’ve seen it all before. The nice scenery helps, too (even if it looks far more Canadian than it looks like Montana), but next to that, Stone Cold is the real reason to watch this. It might be a Chuck Norris-esque role (Norris has that whole woodsman vibe and dress sense), but Stone Cold damn well fits it like a glove. In fact, this is the best film I’ve seen of his to date, faint praise or not. I do have one qualm about his character, though. I don’t understand why he keeps his daughter a secret from the villains. She might be used as leverage, but that’s a screenplay reason, not a real one. What’s the difference whether he tells them or not?

I personally think Gary Daniels (who completes a trio of stars from “The Expendables” on show here, with Austin and Roberts) is the worst martial arts actor not named Chuck Norris or Jeff Speakman. That said, this is his least sucky performance. Being a support actor seems to suit him better, and his fight scene with Austin is better than anything either of them did in “The Expendables”. It’s thankfully shot in a very old-school way (and gory too, in an otherwise pussy film), and Daniels is clearly still in good shape. Having said that, is it just me or does he point a gun in the most limp-wristed way imaginable? Watch the scene where he’s asked to kill someone (you’ll know when).

Another thing that annoyed me about this film is the use of profanity. I love profanity when used appropriately, creatively, and judiciously. Here it’s used far too prevalently and overdone to the point where you just know it was thrown in to get this an R rating due to the violence not being especially extreme. I also wish that fine character actors Donnelly Rhodes and Michael Eklund were given more to do. Rhodes (who was excellent in a small role in Austin’s “Damage”) gets barely a scene, whilst the seriously unsubtle Eklund was such fun in “BloodRayne 2” that I really wanted to see more of him here. He’s hilarious when given the chance, and you just know that Mr. Stone Cold is going to enjoy killing him. It’s the David Patrick Kelly role from “Commando”, really, and Ethan Hawke-lookalike Eklund is perfect for it (You’ll also get “Shoot to Kill”/“Deadly Pursuit” vibes from the plot, too).

 

The film has a very silly ending and the worst usage of the film’s title in dialogue as a form of lame-arse catch phrase. It’s the kind of shit McBain would say on “The Simpsons”, only even cheesier. This is formula filmmaking, folks. Austin’s gonna make a good action film one of these days (Why not pair him with The Rock, and play off their Attitude Era thing, with Austin perhaps as the villain? Seems simple to me). This isn’t it, but it’s closer than he’s previously been. Don’t expect much and you’ll get something modestly watchable.

Rating: C+