Review: Planet Terror

Chemical engineer Naveen Andrews gets into a scuffle with the military (led by Bruce Willis) who want the nerve gas he’s currently in possession of a large quantity of. This scuffle results in the gas being let loose into the atmosphere, and subsequently it infects the townsfolk, turning them into raging psychopaths. Treating the infected is a local doctor (Josh Brolin), a rather sinister man who is very unhappy with his anaesthesiologist wife Marley Shelton hooking up with another woman (played by alleged singer Stacy ‘Fergie’ Ferguson), who we have already seen falling victim to the infection. Meanwhile, Cherry (Rose McGowan) has just quit her job as a go-go dancer, and ended up at a local BBQ joint run by JT (Jeff Fahey). There she runs into her ex-boyfriend (Freddy Rodriguez), and when the fit hits the shans and Cherry is infected in the leg via a zombie attack, they head for the hospital. Cherry does not die, and manages to have a wooden stump (and later a machine gun!) attached where her leg used to be as they fight off more zombies. Michael Biehn plays the local sheriff, who just so happens to be JT’s brother, Michael Parks turns up briefly as Earl McGraw, a character he played previously in “From Dusk ‘Til Dawn”, Quentin Tarantino and Tom Savini have cameos as a rapist soldier with a thing for Ava Gardner and a sheriff’s deputy, respectively.

 

I was extremely annoyed when “Grindhouse” was split into two films outside of the US, because it meant losing most of the trailers and the overall grindhouse experience, thus rendering the films kinda pointless. Not only that but it meant the two films would be viewed outside of their proper context and it made it hard to know how to approach them for any kind of analysis. I eventually saw Quentin Tarantino’s “Death Proof”, and although I felt robbed of the proper experience, the film wasn’t much good anyway, and more importantly, it didn’t feel like a genuine grindhouse film anyway. It was slow, boring, and a “Vanishing Point” rip-off that wasted a perfectly enjoyable bad guy performance by Kurt Russell. Now in 2012 I have finally caught up with the Robert Rodriguez (“Sin City”, “Machete”) half of “Grindhouse”, a cheesy sci-fi splatter movie released in 2007. It’s an infinitely more entertaining film (despite being somewhat of a bad film- intentionally, though), and also fares much better away from its grindhouse double-bill experience than did “Death Proof”. I’m still not sure if this very 80s-esque, early Cronenberg meets Carpenter meets “Terminator” meets Troma film, is really a grindhouse film but I had a whale of a time with it nonetheless. Maybe it’s a good thing the two films have been split up, since they are both so wildly different in content and merit. I wish I could see those faux trailers, though. Damn.

This one will definitely remind you of a lot of late 70s and early 80s gore and sci-fi/horror films, but without really ripping anything off (You’ll think of films like “Scanners”, “The Hidden”, “Class of Nuke ‘Em High”, “Assault on Precinct 13”, “Dawn of the Dead”, “Impulse”, “The Stuff”, and “The Terminator” at the very least). And at least we get one of the fake trailers with this one, “Machete”, which of course Rodriguez actually ended up turning into a real movie (And a really entertaining one at that). The “Machete” trailer opens the film and it’s hilarious, including the brilliant line ‘They just fucked with the wrong Mexican!’ from the voiceover guy.

Like “Death Proof”, the artefacts and graininess of a real grindhouse film are still there, and although still annoying out of context, are a bit more acceptable here than in “Death Proof”. Less acceptable is a blatantly modern reference to Chris Rock, which just confuses things, given the film seems in every other way to take place or to have been set up to look like it comes from the 1980s. Naveen Andrews, for some reason, also felt out-of-place here too. I’m not sure if he’s just miscast or seems too ‘modern’, but he sticks out like a sore thumb. Much better in convincing you that this film is legit (which is presumably the intention) is the presence of Michael Biehn. He doesn’t look to have aged much since 1984 and he plays the film like he’s in a legit splatter film. Or perhaps he thinks he’s still stuck on the “Terminator” set. He’s not the only one playing it straight here, but he’s easily the most convincing.

 

The opening titles are hilarious, set to Rose McGowan go-go dancing and some kick-arse music playing. I’ve never been a Rose McGowan fan, I find she mugs for the camera way too much. Having said that, this is by far her best screen work, and it is clear that Rodriguez has cast her for her slight resemblance to Russ Meyer babe Tura Satana. He has certainly shot/framed her in a Meyer-esque, towering way. She even has an Edy Williams vibe about her if you ask me, and surprisingly enough, comes off as a lot less forced in the ‘tough chick’ stakes than most of the actresses in “Death Proof”. She’s no actress, but perhaps this was the role she was born to play. The music score by Rodriguez himself and Graeme Revell goes a long way in putting you in the mood, mixing rock/blues with some cheesy 80s horror-like stuff too. There’s definitely a lot of John Carpenter vibes in the music here (and the plot, with a kind of “Rio Bravo” turn of events, not to mention some of the characters). It’s a funnier film than “Death Proof”, with a particularly gross sense of humour. In fact, it’s just pretty damn gross at times, but in a fun, cheesy way. The FX work by Greg Nicotero and Howard Berger is surprisingly good for a change, though the film’s cheesy tone suits their often cartoony FX work anyway. There’s an especially great, gory bit involving Tom Savini, of all people (let’s just say that if you’ve seen “Day of the Dead”, you’ll get a chuckle here), followed by a subsequent massacre with blood splattering on the camera which was rather choice too. Helluva fun exploding head towards the end as well. And if you’ve ever wanted to see Quentin Tarantino’s balls melt off completely...this is your film, folks.

Perhaps this and “Machete” ought to have been the films to have made up “Grindhouse”, they certainly seem to occupy a similar universe (I think this is gorier, though). Aside from McGowan, the rest of the cast are no slouches, either. I think Rodriguez misses the boat a bit by not giving Michael Ironside or David Cronenberg a cameo, but Bruce Willis and Tom Savini are welcome sights. In more substantial roles, Marley Shelton is both hot and hilarious, and Josh Brolin is genuinely menacing. Although he was better in “Machete”, Jeff Fahey is pretty good in a role that suggests Rodriguez is a fan of “Motel Hell”. Tarantino’s cameo, shameless or not, is funny. He just had to get in an Ava Gardner reference, didn’t he? It made me laugh anyway. Nice on-screen reference to “Women in Cages”, too.

The film certainly isn’t flawless, even when taken as enjoyable trash. The film has way too many characters to keep track of, especially in the early part of the film. I also lament that Rodriguez’s interest in exploitation rarely extends to sex and nudity. Or to put it another way, the ‘missing reel’ gag during McGowan’s sex scene is cute, but one quickly realises it’s a lame way to compensate for Rodriguez yet again acquiescing to an actress’ ‘no nudity’ clause. If they don’t want to nude up, Mr. Rodriguez, and they’re not A-list quality actresses, then don’t hire them for an exploitation film in the first place. It could’ve been a really hot scene, but instead it stops short and goes for a gag. Sex and nudity are essential to grindhouse films, and thus it is a genuine flaw. And that goes double for suggesting a lesbian affair between Shelton and Fergie (the Fergie who pees her pants on stage, not the toe sucker ex-royal) without actually showing any evidence of it. What gives? I also think Rodriguez misses a chance for greatness by only having McGowan use a machine gun for a leg in the last 15-20 minutes. It’s brilliant and that should’ve been the whole movie! He deserves credit for having the balls to kill off a kid, though. I mean, damn that’s nasty!

 

This is a good film. I enjoyed it quite a bit. But with a few changes, this could’ve been supreme exploitation fare, instead of just good.

 

Rating: B-