Review: Arena

Kellan Lutz is in a sorry state. His girlfriend was killed in a car crash, and after a drunken hook-up with a sexy minx (Katia Winter), he is kidnapped and forced to compete in gladiatorial combat in an illegal tournament broadcast online and overseen by a megalomaniacal Samuel L. Jackson. I hate it when that happens. Daniel Dae Kim plays a fellow fighter, Nina Dobrev is Lutz’s ill-fated girlfriend, Johnny Messner plays Jackson’s lead henchman, and James Remar appears as a man claiming to be Lutz’s brother.

 

Y’know, Samuel L. Jackson is one helluva actor (just look at “Jackie Brown”, “Black Snake Moan”, “Jungle Fever”, “Changing Lanes”, etc.) and one of the coolest guys in movies (“Shaft”, anyone?), but...every now and then he seems to lose his freakin’ mind and embarrasses himself on film. “The Spirit”, for instance, is a stupid arse film, but Jackson is embarrassingly hammy in it. And in this 2011 fight movie from director Jonah Loop, Jackson is once again having an off day. This time, though, not only is he embarrassingly hammy, but he’s so clearly slumming it here that I’m worried that he’s verging on a Lou Gossett Jr. or Cuba Gooding Jr. career plummet. Good thing he’s not Samuel L. Jackson Jr. then, I suppose.

 

The film itself isn’t awful, but it’s not enjoyable either (outside of Katia Winter’s wonderful and refreshing full-frontal nudity), bringing nothing new to an already stale subgenre. Maybe Jackson thought having a “Twilight” actor in the lead would see this get a theatrical release, but the material is direct-to-DVD all the way. Jackson should be thankful, though, because at least the vast majority of people won’t hear him fatuously quote Strother Martin in “Cool Hand Luke”. It’s pretty dull stuff, and too much handheld/slow-mo makes the fight scenes uninteresting. Most of these films live or die by the fight scenes, and this film just doesn’t impress in that area.

 

The one thing the film does have going for it is its look. It’s washed-out yet not monochromatic, unpleasant, or uninteresting. In some ways it’s even kinda colourful, just not especially bright or vibrant. That’s a very tricky thing to achieve, but Nelson Cragg manages to pull it off admirably.

 

Kellan Lutz (a cross between “Twilight” alum Taylor Lautner and Cam Gigandet) is a better actor than “Twilight” stars Robert Pattinson and the aforementioned Lautner (and certainly the pathetic Gigandet), but he’s still a pretty stone-faced sort and not very appealing to this heterosexual male. I’d say that’s why he hasn’t really broken out, but then Pattinson looks like a wet fart and Lautner is more wooden than many rainforests. Winter is attractive, but not much of an actress. She also seems to wear more clothes the longer the film goes on, and is thus is less appealing the longer the film goes on. Better are Daniel Dae Kim and Johnny Messner, but the former gets wiped out early (after his one big speech) and the latter isn’t on screen enough to really matter a damn. Meanwhile, Loop and screenwriters Tony Giglio, Michael Hultquist, and Robert Martinez must assume we’re all intimately familiar with this plot, because the film’s world and set-up is quite lacking. Would someone really go to all this trouble just for online hits? I can’t believe that. I certainly think Mr. Giglio is familiar with this plot because he’s borrowed most of it from his own screenplay for “Death Race 2”, minus the cars. I also felt like the Winter character was lacking in any depth or motivation whatsoever, which isn’t ambiguous, it’s irritating.

 

The film is also so ridiculously bloody and sensationalistic at times that the big twist seems absolutely stupid and implausible. A condescendingly hammy and ineffectual Samuel L. Jackson, a tired plot, and uninteresting fight scenes prove a deathly dull combination. Now does anyone know what these incriminating photos are that someone is clearly holding over my main man Sammy J? They must be pretty damn scandalous.

 

Rating: C