Review: 30 Minutes or Less

Jesse Eisenberg is Nick, a slacker pizza delivery dude kidnapped by two masked numbskulls (Danny McBride and Nick Swardson), having a bomb strapped to his chest, and forced to rob a bank for the $100,000 the twits need to pay an assassin (Michael Pena) to kill their retired, military hard-arse father (Fred Ward, delivering R. Lee Ermey’s dialogue). You see, Ward hit it big winning the lottery a while back, and they’re looking to collect. In order to commit the robbery, Nick employs the help of his teacher best pal Chet (played by the very Chet-sounding Aziz Ansari), whose twin sister (Dilshad Vadsaria) Nick has the hots for. Bianca Kajlich briefly bears her breasts as a stripper named Juicy. Yes, Juicy.

 

Ruben Fleischer gave us one of the best films of 2009 with the irreverent zombie comedy “Zombieland”. Unfortunately, for his sophomore effort he has given us this bungled 2011 slacker action-comedy. The cast are mostly fine talents, but an action comedy needs to work seriously and comedically, and the film fails in the former category and isn’t terribly good in the latter, either. The villains are idiots and their plan is completely moronic, but while that is largely the point, it doesn’t work because it’s not even remotely plausible. Yes, I know the film has a slight basis in a real-life case, but this fictional version is just too stupid even for a stupid comedy. The plan seems needlessly complicated, for one thing. Nick is set up as a patsy in a plan that need not even have a patsy. His presence in this scheme just isn’t necessary. Although I could almost see Danny McBride doing a legitimately fine dramatic job one of these days (I’m telling you, he’s got something), neither he nor Nick Swardson (who has nothing) are remotely threatening or credible. It’s all well and good to have a couple of knucklehead villains if there’s a credible threat somewhere else, but sadly Michael Pena’s thug character isn’t much smarter and is a lot less interesting. The film isn’t just a comedy, it’s kind of an action film, and for that there needs to be a certain level of menace to the villains. Look at films like “Lethal Weapon” (Gary Busey) and “Demolition Man” (where Wesley Snipes was hilarious and menacing) for instance.

 

The biggest problem I had, however, was that although the film had a certain lively pace to it, it had absolutely no tension whatsoever. I don’t know whether it’s due to an overly talky screenplay by Michael Diliberti, or just that the performance by Jesse Eisenberg was too cool or flippant, but I never felt like he was ever in any danger of exploding. Of course, he’s the protagonist so you know that won’t happen, but Fleischer doesn’t even bother giving us the illusion of urgency so that we can become invested in it for 90 minutes or so. He has Eisenberg stop off to talk to his beloved, and even approaches Ansari at work. A school. With school kids. Yes, they make that into a joke, but it’s stupid, even in a stupid comedy because no one would do such a thing in the real world and certainly wouldn’t maintain such a poker face as the one Eisenberg (a talented, if overrated actor) sports throughout the film.

 

So the film just didn’t engage me with its story or characters at all, reminding me of the similarly stupid “Pineapple Express” (co-starring McBride in a much better role), actually. Perhaps if you’re familiar with the true-life story (apparently much of this really did happen) you’ll find it more interesting and easier to swallow, but I wasn’t really buying it. It does have some laughs, but even then, not nearly as many as I was expecting. An hilarious argument between Eisenberg and Ansari over his twin sister (a completely wasted Dilshad Vadsaria from TV’s “Greek”), an amusing reference to “Friday the 13^th Part 3” (one of the less sucky entries in the series), and a perfectly placed Kenny Loggins musical cue, are all fun stuff, as is Eisenberg’s first pizza delivery. Aziz Ansari, meanwhile is irritating, but genuinely funny. He’s like an Indian (Pakistani?) Chris Tucker, only talented. I like Eisenberg (though this really is a Michael Cera role when you think about it), but Ansari’s the one you’ll come away remembering, of anyone here. Other than that, this is a very spotty and extremely disappointing film. Hopefully Fleischer hits it out of the park next time, because I really thought he showed promise with “Zombieland”.

 

Rating: C+