Review: Pain & Gain

Based on a whacked-out true story, Mark Wahlberg is a meathead bodybuilder with a lot of ambition, and not much in the way of smarts. He considers himself a ‘doer’, and after listening to a motivational speaking seminar delivered by the ever-douchy Ken Jeong, Wahlberg has come up with what he sees as his chance to achieve a piece of the American Dream. Along with fellow bodybuilders Anthony Mackie and Dwayne Johnson (the latter a reformed drug addict and ex-con now with Jesus in his heart) he plans to kidnap one of Wahlberg’s obnoxious, rich clients (Tony Shalhoub) and coerce him into relocating his wealth into their pockets. Being dumbarses, however, things don’t exactly go swimmingly. Ed Harris turns up as a PI who is supposed to be retired, but it hasn’t quite stuck with him. Rebel Wilson turns up as a horny nurse who attempts to help Mackie with his ‘supplement’-derived impotence issues.

 

At first glance it might seem distasteful to take a very serious true crime incident and turn it into black comedy. Meanwhile, spending two hours in the company of director Michael Bay (“The Rock”, “Armageddon”, “Transformers”), his shaky-cam, and anti-charismatic Mark Wahlberg didn’t seem terribly enticing to me, either. But lo and behold, this 2013 bizarro true caper story is much better than it has any right to be.

 

I think the humour and mostly likeable cast give the film a lift. They might make the characters more reputable than deserved (I should probably point out that I hate PT’s and overly motivated people in general to be honest), but they also make the film easier to stomach than a straight retelling of the real-life story might’ve been. So in that sense, the approach by screenwriters Christopher Markus & Stephen McFeely (who previously teamed up for “Captain America: The First Avenger”) is clever, no matter if it’s morally right or wrong. Such a sleazy story probably shouldn’t be taken so lightly, yet these guys are so flagrantly dumb, it’s hard not to find them damn funny, those with more intimate knowledge of the real-life case may be far less amused. I sincerely hope the ninja outfits and Tasers were part of the real incident, because it’s hilarious. Sorry, but it really, really is funny stuff. As for my shaky-cam concerns, there’s certainly a lot of swooping camerawork from cinematographer Ben Seresin (“Unstoppable”, “World War Zed”), but not nearly the queasy disaster I was dreading.

 

One thing that bothered me right off the bat was casting Mark Wahlberg and especially Anthony Mackie as bodybuilders. Um, what? The Rock, absolutely. But Wahlberg and Mackie do not look like bodybuilders in the slightest (despite apparently having bulked up- maybe it’s hard to tell when you’ve also got a pro wrestler in the room?). Thankfully, Mackie has a bit of an excuse because his character is obsessed with juicing up, but even so, wouldn’t that be more incentive to hire someone with actual bulging muscles? Mackie could definitely pass for a sportsman or track athlete, but he ain’t no condom full of walnuts. As for Wahlberg, I have no doubt he’d be useful in a scrappy street fight, but he just looks like too much of a ‘regular Joe’ to convince, and way too short. When they’re lined up against The Rock, the issue is made blatant. It’s a shame they weren’t playing mere gym employees, I could at least buy that.

 

Thankfully, though, I bought into other aspects of their performances. Wahlberg is well-cast as a self-absorbed meathead, very well-cast and amusing. His dumb-arse optimism is almost infectious. These guys are in serious shit, but Wahlberg has no capacity for foresight, and ambition can be a dangerous thing if you have sawdust for brains. At one point he utters the immortal words ‘I watch a lot of movies. I know what I’m doin’!’ No you don’t. No you don’t. It’s telling on multiple levels that someone here is accidentally killed with a dumbbell. Although I think Terry Crews would’ve been much better in the part, Mackie is genuinely funny as the supplement-obsessed idiot, and provides a good contrast with The Rock, too. I normally loathe Aussie ‘comedienne’ Rebel Wilson, but she’s amusing here, as is Tony Shalhoub. Ed Harris and his terrific voice are well-cast too, if pretty wasted, all things considered.

 

The Rock AKA Dwayne Johnson owns the film from moment one where he beats the holy crap out of pro wrestler and Olympic gold medallist Kurt Angle. Through sheer physical presence and charisma, the guy just dominates the screen. The role he plays is very different for him, and the film is worth seeing just for the fantastic ‘One Way: Jesus’ shirt he wears (Also, any film that works in a Stryper reference has to be OK in my book). His character is perhaps the most sympathetic, simply because he is a troubled man being somewhat exploited by Wahlberg and is about to get in to some serious shit as a result. Johnson’s terrific, and kind of the heart of the film, in an effectively troubled, and affecting performance. He’s not a bad man, just a messed-up one, though the real guy was probably awful.

 

These are some seriously dumb schmucks and it appears as though Bay knows it. However, I don’t think the film paints these guys as heroes. Wahlberg’s character is a total jerk for manipulating Johnson, and I think Bay understands this, even if some critics don’t seem to have gotten it.

 

Even with Wahlberg and Mackie looking awfully puny for bodybuilders, the performances really give a lift to this film. Without them, the story elements would make for tough viewing. That isn’t to say the plot is not interesting, just unsavoury. But with a fine cast and an amusing script, this proves to be Bay’s best film as director by far. It’s even quite restrained by his uber standards.

 

It’s not terribly substantial but I liked this, it’s different from the usual crime story with its ugly but interesting backdrop of idiot juice-heads, porno kings, and shonky pseudo entrepreneurs/motivational speakers. Note, however, that mug shots shown at the end of all the real-life participants show that none of the actors even remotely resembles their real-life counterparts, even by ethnicity!

 

Rating: B-