Review: Ghost Team One


Carlos Santos and horndog roommate J.R. Villarreal (but you can call them Harold and Kumar) are told by the beautiful Fernanda (Fernanda Romero) that a ghostly spirit is haunting their house. A crazy, slutty Asian ghostly spirit. The trio decide to set up video cameras everywhere to try and capture some ghostly goings on, whilst Santos and Villarreal also try to get into Fernanda’s pants. Tony Cavalero plays their mean-spirited, racist, recovering drug addict roommate who is currently going through a phase of hating…well, everyone and everything.

 

If it weren’t for the charming and sexy Fernanda Romero, this 2013 horror comedy from directors Ben Peyser and Scott Rutherford would be truly unbearable. I’m not going to claim that Romero is the next big thing, but she’s interesting enough and hot enough to be remembered in this otherwise utterly forgettable film.

 

There’s something potentially amusing about the ineptitude of these characters, but not enough to make the grade. Scripted by Andrew Knauer and Arthur Pielli there just isn’t enough material here for a full-length film. It should’ve been a fake trailer in another movie or a sketch/segment. Or better yet, one and all should’ve realised “A Haunted House” already did this and just pack up and go home.

 

None of the performances are bad, although I would’ve gotten rid of Tony Cavalero’s drug addict character, who really only serves a purpose at the climax. How it took two people to direct this film and two separate people to write it is beyond me. This just isn’t much of anything and most of it is like a wedding video shot by your drunken uncle (Just because you’re going for pseudo doco, doesn’t give you licence to shoot things appallingly badly). The camerawork is so bad early on that you don’t even really know that something paranormal is supposed to be going on.

 

But that Fernanda Romero, boy she’s got something. My heart for starters. Seriously, I think I’m in love and she needs to be in every movie ever made from this day forward. I won’t let this one little career mistake come between us.

 

Rating: D

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Review: Hellraiser (2022)

Recovering junkie Odessa A’zion accompanies scuzzy boyfriend Drew Starkey on a break-in where all they find is a weird puzzle box. A’zion later opens the box and after some weird shit happens, A’zion and Starkey figure it might be a good idea to learn more about this messed up trinket. Goran Visnjic plays a millionaire who possessed the box before our protagonist nicked it.   Is there any point in remaking/rebooting “Hellraiser” when the 1987 adaptation of Clive Barker’s original text was written and directed by Barker himself? And is considered a horror classic? On evidence here, absolutely not. Directed by David Bruckner ( “The Signal” ) and scripted by Ben Collins ( “The Night House” ) and Luke Piotrowski (ditto) this is an entirely tedious affair. I took a long time to get on board with the 1987 “Hellraiser” , I have to admit. It was wildly imaginative and original, like a nightmare transplanted on to film. However, the characters were stone cold and left me similarly chil...
Read more

Review: Cinderella (1950)

The story of poor young Cinderella (voiced by Ilene Woods), treated as a servant by her nasty stepmother (voiced by Eleanor Audley), and dismissed by her thoroughly rotten, ugly stepsisters. Her only friends are a group of mice, who are forever being menaced by a cat named Lucifer (or as I call him, Grumpy Cheshire Cat). The King (hoping to find a wife for his charming son) is throwing a ball and every available young woman is invited to attend, and Cinderella is most excited to go. However, her stepmother and stepsisters do all they can to prevent this from happening. But with help from the mice and one fairy godmother (voiced by Verna Felton) later, and Cinderella looks set to attend the ball. You know the rest, folks.   Lovely 1950 Disney animated movie from directors Clyde Geronimi ( “Peter Pan” , “Lady and the Tramp” ), Wilfred Jackson ( “Fantasia” , “Alice in Wonderland” , “Peter Pan” ) & Hamilton Luske ( “Pinocchio” , “Fantasia” , “Peter Pan” ), that is a bit t...
Read more

Review: Jinnah

The story of Mohammed Ali Jinnah (Sir Christopher Lee) the politically moderate founder of Pakistan. A Muslim lawyer, Jinnah fought to form a separate nation from India for the Muslim minority, whilst Mahatma Gandhi (Sam Dastor) wished for India to stay united and proposed Jinnah as the new PM as a compromise. James Fox plays British viceroy Lord Mountbatten, Indira Varma plays Jinnah’s wife, and veteran bit player Vernon Dobtcheff plays a British dignitary.   Although Christopher Lee’s title performance received some critical notice and the actor himself was very proud of the work, this modestly budgeted 1998 biopic from director Jamil Dehlavi ( “Immaculate Conception” with Melissa Leo) and co-writer Farrukh Dhondy ( “Red Mercury” with Stockard Channing and Ron Silver) was largely ignored at the time and still very little-known today. Part of that is probably due to the poor marketing of the film, and difficulty in finding a distributor. It’s hard to get people to talk abo...
Read more