Review: Judge Dredd

Set in a hellish future where America is divided into the post-apocalyptic wastelands and the more pleasant-looking city areas known as Mega Cities. Law and order is tasked to Judges, who are like detectives, law enforcers, and judicial figures all wrapped into one. The title character (played by Sly Stallone) is one of the most respected and feared of all Judges. However, when some conspiratorial forces see the freeing of a psycho former Judge named Rico (Armand Assante), Rico sees Judge Dredd framed for murder. Found guilty, Dredd receives some mercy from the Chief Judge (Max von Sydow), and instead of being sentenced to death, he’s merely banished to the wastelands. Do we think Dredd is gonna find his way back and exact some of his tough justice on Rico and whoever is behind him? Diane Lane plays a relatively inexperienced Judge, Jurgen Prochnow is another Chief Judge, Rob Schneider plays a petty crook who finds himself having to align himself with Dredd (and vice versa) when they’re both about to become dinner for cannibals led by Scott Wilson. Mitchell Ryan plays a news reader, whilst Joan Chen plays Prochnow’s mistress, and Maurice Roeves plays Andre Gregory in “Demolition Man”.

 

The story goes that director Danny Cannon (“Phoenix”, “I Still Know What You Did When You Did What You Done Do”) had constant battles with star Sly Stallone over the direction they wanted to take this 1995 big-screen version of the comic book. Apparently Sly mostly won out, and the screenplay by veteran action movie scribe Steven E. de Souza and William Wisher (the latter of whom co-wrote “The Terminator” and “Terminator 2: Judgement Day”) more closely reflects the action/comedy Stallone wanted to make (“Demolition Man 2” no doubt), than the darker and more satirical film the director and screenwriters envisioned (Judge Dredd after all, has always been a satirical jab at rigid, violent “Dirty Harry” vigilante law enforcement). Apparently there were rewrites to make the film even more comedic. So, with that all said, how did the film turn out? I liked it a whole lot better the first time when it was called “Demolition Man”, and commercially this one was a giant flop.

 

It’s not just the fact that star Stallone takes off his helmet as Dredd (a big no-no for comic fans), I can see why that change was made. The problem is that it is completely obvious that this is a somewhat grim story (British too, I might add) taken in an inappropriately ‘Steven E. de Souza’ direction. Oh, don’t get me wrong, Mr. de Souza has contributed to some of my favourite action films (“Commando”, “Die Hard”, “The Running Man”). But de Souza and Wisher have tried to graft the Judge Dredd character onto not just the tongue-in-cheek world of a de Souza film (which different from the satire of the comics, it’s important to say), but there’s also a helluva lot of Stallone’s previous (and excellent) “Demolition Man” here (Not written by de Souza but definitely an action-comedy). It’s almost as if no one had any faith in the source material so they’ve tried to attach it to previous hits. It doesn’t work, but I don’t hate it as much as a lot of others do.

 

We start off well, however, with the absolutely masterful decision to use James Earl Jones as the opening crawl narrator. It’s one of the best things in the film and it should’ve ended right there. Meanwhile, the dusty brown exteriors at least seem to have their inspiration in the comics. In fact, from a production design POV, it’s awesome and still holds up well today in that regard. But boy is there a lot of “Demolition Man”, “Blade Runner” (the visuals, whether I like them or not, are clearly ripped off from the popular Ridley Scott film), and “Robocop” (Yes, the Dredd comic came first. So what?) in this. It’s the same thing that would also sink another 1995 film, “Virtuosity”, which also blatantly stole from “Demolition Man”. I mean, there’s a scene between Armand Assante (as this film’s Wesley Snipes) and Jurgen Prochnow where he turns up at the latter’s living quarters that is unquestionably stolen from “Demolition Man”. The best thing in the whole film is the damn fine music score by Alan Silvestri (“Flight of the Navigator”, “Predator”, “Young Guns II”, “Forrest Gump”), that gives the film a bit more professionalism than it might deserve. It’s almost bloody majestic.

 

You can pinpoint the exact moment that this film’s quality starts to plummet: Sylvester Stallone walks on screen and opens his mouth to speak. He walks like Robocop (Why? He’s entirely human!), and talks like he’s doing a bad vocal impersonation of William Shatner as Robocop (except that would be hilarious). Even his posture is ridiculous, with his chest stuck out and his hands on his hips. Does he think all comic book characters are “Superman”? It’s one of Stallone’s worst performances, giving a camp vibe that is counterproductive to the grim story, or at least, what would be a grim story if Stallone hadn’t insisted on action-comedy, and had the film’s worldview (not the visuals, just the portrayal of this world) not been cribbed from “Demolition Man” and the like. I get the feeling that Stallone (who had never heard of the character or comic at the time, importantly), thought that a comic book movie should be more like the 60s’ “Batman” TV show (fun, don’t get me wrong) than a grim comic book, which is what it really ought to have been. As a result, the film is really, really awkward and unsatisfying. And why the fuck does Stallone have blue eyes here?

 

Rob Schneider isn’t someone I’d normally associate with being funny, despite being a comedian (I’ve seen “Big Stan”, as much proof as anyone could need). However, even I have to admit that some of his annoying sidekick schtick is OK, even though it’s also kinda wrong for what this film should’ve been. Take his scenes on their own, and one has to admit Schneider’s not too bad. His job, like it or not, was to be annoying comedy relief and occasionally he succeeds. Slightly. It’s quite an interesting line-up of actors, actually, but most are pretty poorly wasted or not at their best to say the least. Diane Lane is a good actress, but not good enough to not seem totally out of place in something like this. Although this might be one of his better performances, Jurgen Prochnow contributes to one of the least surprising ‘surprises’ of the 1990s, whilst Armand Assante is a little overripe but in a boring way. He’s basically Wesley Snipes, only he’s so not even close to Wesley Snipes in effect (Snipes was the highlight of “Demolition Man”). Joan Chen is sign #4 that you’re in a bad movie from the 80s and 90s (Prochnow is sign #3 in case you were wondering), and gets absolutely nothing to work with here. Her role is terribly underwritten. Max von Sydow gives the film’s best performance by far, and is so much better than the film itself. The film is unworthy of the respect the great von Sydow affords it.

 

This isn’t the worst Stallone film by a longshot (“Assassins” means it’s not even his worst of 1995!), but it barely sneaks its way out of a truly bad score into just ‘blah’ territory (And believe me, I’m one of only a handful who don’t actively hate the thing). It’s creatively bankrupt, wrongly pitched for buddy movie humour, and not directed with much muscle or excitement by Mr. Cannon. Ridiculously anachronistic end theme by The Cure, who were under the impression it was 1985, not 1995 (or the 22^nd Century even). Wow, let it go guys, it’s over. The screenplay is based not only on the comic, but a story by Wisher and Michael De Luca (“A Nightmare on Elm St. 5: The Dream Child”, “In the Mouth of Madness”).

 

Rating: C