Review: Rambo III

Sly Stallone once again plays psychologically scarred soldier John J. Rambo, this time going into action in Afghanistan when his mentor Col. Trautman (Richard Crenna) is kidnapped by nasty Russians (led by master thespian Marc de Jonge). He also finds himself among Afghani Freedom Fighters led by the benevolent (and awfully Greek-sounding) Spiros Focas. Yep, the Afghans are noble warriors here. Kurtwood Smith appears in a few scenes as an Embassy official who tries to get Trautman and Rambo’s help, which Rambo initially refuses.

 

The original “First Blood” was a terrific, relatively even-handed post-Vietnam film, but the following two sequels were exclusively profit-driven films with a decidedly more right-wing political agenda. As such, they are far less interesting films for those of us who never worshipped the ground Ronald Reagan walked on. This 1988 third entry into the series from director Peter MacDonald (Van Damme’s unsuccessful “Legionnaire”) and co-writers Sly Stallone and Van Damme collaborator Sheldon Lettich (“Legionnaire”, writer-director of “Wrong Bet” and “The Hard Corps”) looks particularly foolish in a post-9/11 world. ‘Dedicated to the gallant people of Afghanistan’, I bet staunch Republican voter Stallone really regrets Rambo teaming with Afghani Freedom fighters here (The situation’s obviously a little more complicated than that, given the Afghans would basically split into two groups, only one of whom would sprout the Al-Qaeda/Osama Bin Laden) in what may be cinema’s most retroactively ironic motion picture. In some ways it makes the film rather interesting from a cultural perspective, but also kinda useless at the same time (if not bloody dangerous, though to be fair, even James Bond did much the same thing in “The Living Daylights” if I’m not mistaken).

 

Like “First Blood Part II” it’s an extremely good-looking film, and probably a bit better than that film overall. However, it’s also so damn similar that if like me you watch these two films very close together, by the time you get to this one, you’re kind of bored with this franchise. The finale is the most ridiculously machine gun-heavy action set-piece of the 1980s outside of “Predator”, but…hang on, didn’t I say much the same thing about the finale of “Part II”? I believe so. Almost as ridiculous is the opening Thai martial arts scene that would still be funny even if “Hot Shots Part Deux” hadn’t parodied it. That’s not a complaint, by the way. It’s more an observation of how far this series has strayed from the comparative seriousness of “First Blood”. Also, why does Rambo have his hands wrapped up like a Thai boxer when he’s actually stick-fighting?

 

“First Blood” had Brian Dennehy. “Rambo: First Blood Part II” gave us Charles Napier, Steven Berkoff, and Martin Kove. “Rambo III” gives us Marc de Jonge, Spiros Focas (the villain from “The Jewel of the Nile”), and Kurtwood Smith. ‘Nuff said, right? Focas is at least the best actor amongst the Afghan actors (That is to say, he’s not from that part of the world, merely playing an Afghani character). The Omar Sharif-lookalike is at least competent and charismatic. As for the lead villain Marc de Jonge (who?), he’s so nondescript you find yourself wondering if Jurgen Prochnow was busy (Or John Rhys-Davies, who could’ve either played a Russkie or an Afghan. I’m shocked he’s not in here somewhere, he wasn’t very discerning in the 80s). He makes zero impression. Yes, the pesky Russkies are the baddies here the same year that Arnold Schwarzenegger made “Red Heat”. The Cold War was really difficult for Sly to get over it seems, as he made them the villains in two of these films and went on to make “Rocky IV” the following year when Cold War-inspired stories were starting to smell (In fairness, Russia was indeed battling Afghanistan during the time “Rambo III” was being shot. Barely, but still true nonetheless). Kurtwood Smith, meanwhile was never much of an actor, having only two decent performances to his name (the villains in “Robocop” and “Fortress”). The rest of the time he’s frankly an awful actor, though I can’t attest to his work on “That TV Show With Ashton and Mila”. Here he’s typically wooden and instantly forgettable, though at least he’s not playing a villain, as that would’ve been too predictable. Series mainstay Richard Crenna makes his final appearance in a “Rambo” film here and briefly even gets to take up arms. Unfortunately his role is merely a plot point and he is ultimately wasted. Stallone, as was the case in “First Blood” and the subsequent “First Blood Part II” actually gives one of his better performances. It’s just that like the film itself, because this is the third time out (and fairly indistinguishable from the second time out), it’s less interesting to watch. Rambo is a bit of a bore in this one, and why is he once again OK-USA’s go-to defender after being disgusted with the politicians and bureaucrats in the two previous films? Sigh. ‘Coz…Sly like-a the money, that’s why.

 

As was the case previously, the film’s highlight is the music score by Jerry Goldsmith (“Planet of the Apes”, “The Omen”, “First Blood”, “Rambo: First Blood Part II”), which although great, sounds even more than ever like Ennio Morricone’s main theme for “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”. The scenery is once again wonderful, captured by John Stanier (“Oxford Blues”) this time out.

 

There’s some mindless action fun to be had here and there so long as you can accept (or forget about) the politics. Probably not the best idea to watch this right after the previous film, or better yet just watch “First Blood” and skip all of the sequels. There’s not much of merit or distinction going on here in terms of story, though the film is technically well-made. Any film with wrestling legend Terry Funk as a stuntman has to be worth a gander at least once. The trend of terrible end credits songs sort-of continues here with Bill Medley of all people doing a cover version of ‘He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother’. It’s not a bad version per se, it’s just that the song sucks to begin with, and what in the hell is Bill Medley doing on this soundtrack anyway?

 

Rating: C+