Review: So, I Married an Axe Murderer

Charlie Mackenzie (Mike Myers) is a commitment-phobic San Francisco beat poet (no idea what he actually does to make money, though) who begins dating a local butcher named Harriet (Nancy Travis). However, despite things going quite well, Charlie once again finds a ridiculous reason to want to break things off: Having been told by his tabloid-reading Scottish mother (Brenda Fricker) of a supposed ‘Honeymoon Murderer’, Charlie is convinced that all of the tell-tale signs point to Harriet! Is Charlie just being a paranoid commitment-phobe or is Harriet really a serial killer? Myers also plays the role of Charlie’s insult-hurling, Col. Sanders-hating Scottish father Stuart, forever deriding Charlie’s younger brother, whom he only refers to as ‘Heed’ and constantly makes comment of the size of his, well…heed. Anthony LaPaglia plays Charlie’s cop friend who wants his sensitive boss (Alan Arkin) to be more like the angry police bosses in movies. Amanda Plummer plays Harriet’s sister Rose, whilst Debi Mazar plays LaPaglia’s ditzy girlfriend.

 

It wasn’t a hit with critics or audiences in 1993, and some of it is admittedly pretty ordinary, but when this Mike Myers romantic-comedy from director Thomas Schlamme (A TV veteran of three episodes of “The Wonder Years”, EP of “The West Wing” and “Sports Night”) hits, it’s some of the funniest moments he has ever had in his entire career (film or TV). I like the “Wayne’s World” films and the two “Austin Powers” sequels (the original was too spotty), but for me, this is his best film to date. The screenplay comes from Robbie Fox (his only significant credit to date, really), but I’d be shocked if Myers didn’t do a lot of ad-libbing or at least have some creative input here. He has a UK familial background, and apparently he based his second role of Stuart Mackenzie on his own father. The basic romantic comedy/thriller plotline was probably already in place before Myers came to the project, but I reckon Myers had a lot to do with the rest, both good and…not so good (names like Chevy Chase and Woody Allen were tossed around to play Charlie initially. Do you see Woody or Chevy playing a Scottish-American?).

 

Not all of the laughs in the film come from Myers’ Stuart, but certainly all of the film’s best comedic moments come from this character, who in my view is one of cinema’s greatest comic creations. He is such a non-stop collection of great one-liner insults from his very first scene, that even on my sixth or seventh viewing, I was nearly in pains with laughter before that first scene of his was over. Whether it’s yelling ‘Now give ‘yer mother a kiss or I’ll kick ‘yer teeth in!’ in his Scottish brogue, or trying to convince his son Charlie (the lead character played by Myers) and his cop friend played by Anthony LaPaglia of the existence of the Pentaverate (and Col. Sanders membership in said secret organisation), he’s a show-stopping riot. In fact, I’m convinced that LaPaglia’s continued corpsing in the scene was unscripted, he’s just as bowled over by the character as the audience is and can’t help himself. A line like ‘Fine. Go. You’ve stayed your hour!’ has become a go-to line in my own family, when it’s time for someone to leave a family function. Meanwhile, for years I always thought the line ‘Do you link your own sausage?’ asked of Nancy Travis was actually ‘Do you lick your own sausage?’. No, that line doesn’t make sense and the real line is dirty enough (and funny enough) as it is, but I just thought I’d give you an indication of what was going on in my 13 year-old head. I was a very naughty boy! I actually think one of the reasons why there’s not that many funny moments outside of the Stuart scenes is simply to give the audience time to breathe, or else you’d die from laughter.

 

There are still plenty of funny non-Stuart moments in the film (and believe me, I haven’t ruined all of the best Stuart moments at all!), even if they’re not all gutbusters. As Stuart’s tabloid-loving wife, Brenda Fricker is lovely and daffy, a perfect match for the rather rough and bellowing Stuart. The scene where she has a kiss goodbye with LaPaglia that gets a little…familiar, is a particular highlight. Alan Arkin, meanwhile is similarly likeable and amusing as LaPaglia’s mild-mannered police chief, trying not very successfully to turn into the ‘angry police chief’ stereotype. I’d like to think it’s this role and performance that signalled his late career revival. Also funny in cameos are the late Phil Hartman, brilliant as an Alcatraz guard called Vicky, and the monotone Steven Wright perfectly cast as a narcoleptic pilot. Top cameo honours, however, go to Charles Grodin, hilariously understated as a barely co-operative man whose car gets commandeered by LaPaglia. He and the perfectly cast Amanda Plummer (doing that kooky thing she always excels at) are the highlights of the film’s comedy-thriller climax. Less effective and in hindsight incredibly uncomfortable is Michael Richards’ cameo as an angry and insensitive person. Yeah, let’s leave it at that shall we?

 

Although I think the film works far better in the comedy department, there’s no denying that Myers (in the lead role of Charlie) and Nancy Travis play nice, likeable people whom you want to see get together in the end. Well, so long as Travis doesn’t turn out to be an axe murderer. They’re pretty good together, in fact I’ve always liked Nancy Travis as an actress. She’s never been particularly outstanding as such, but I’ve rarely seen her step a foot wrong, either, in terms of performance (She wasn’t very well cast as a grumpy wife in “Auggie Rose”, however). Meanwhile, Charlie’s commitment phobia is funny (albeit very “Seinfeld” meets Woody Allen), as is the line he has about a Scottish form of martial arts (Hint: It sounds an awful lot like a profane insult, just in a Scottish accent). However, the wannabe beatnik poetry nonsense just isn’t funny. In fact, it’s incredibly annoying, a black stain on an otherwise highly enjoyable film. If Myers had his time over again, I would hope he’d get rid of that nonsense (Unless removing “The Love Guru” from existence takes up all of his time. One must prioritise, of course!).

 

There’s a lot of enjoyable elements here, but there’s no denying that the film’s best moments are with Stuart Mackenzie. Those moments are so hilarious that they make this film more than worthwhile on their own. It’s a highly enjoyable, occasionally gut-bustingly funny film, even with the insanely irritating beatnik poetry falling flat. Oh, and I hope you love ‘There She Goes’, because you’re gonna hear that song a whole lot throughout this film.

 

Rating: B+