Review: John Wick

Russian gangster’s dipshit son Iosef (Alfie Allen) takes a liking to the 1969 Mustang of John Wick (Keanu Reeves- who is now in his 50s! Can you believe that? He’s old, and so are you and I!). Wick says it’s not for sale. Dipshit Iosef decides to steal it, have his goons beat Wick up, and kill Wick’s beagle puppy for good measure. Dipshit Iosef done fucked up because a) That puppy was really cute, and was left for Wick by his terminally ill wife (Bridget Moynahan in 8 seconds of useless flashbacks despite prominent billing) as a parting gift as she left this mortal coil, and b) John Wick is a long-retired (but still highly efficient) hired killer for Dipshit Iosef’s gangster father Viggo (Michael Nyqvist), who knows what Dipshit Iosef doesn’t: John Wick is gonna rain down with furious vengeance on those who have killed his poor puppy and taken his sweet arse ride from him. Willem Dafoe plays a fellow hitman with divided loyalties, whilst Adrianne Palicki is much less divided in her loyalties as another hired assassin sent after Wick by Nyqvist. John Leguizamo has a brief role as a guy known to both Wick and Iosef, whilst Ian McShane and David Patrick Kelly play the owner of a strange hotel seemingly reserved for underworld figures (“Lost” co-star Lance Reddick is the head concierge!), and a ‘waste disposal’ man (i.e. the kind of role Harvey Keitel had in “Pulp Fiction” and “The Assassin”).

 

I’m not the biggest fan of vigilante films, as you know. Basically, if it’s “Death Wish” (where the main perpetrators vanish after the first scene because it’s apparently ‘not about revenge’- whatever…) or “The Brave One”, I’m not buying it, I’m not interested. They take themselves too seriously, and they’re just no fun at all. If it’s “Coffy”, or a Steven Seagal action flick (one of the good ones like “Hard to Kill”), then I might just get invested. I’m not interested in vigilante films that take themselves too seriously, because I find the concept of ordinary folk turned vigilante somewhat implausible more often than not. This 2014 film from debut director Chad Stahelski (Keanu Reeves’ stunt double on “The Matrix” films) has a reputation from fans of this kind of thing (and online critics) as being one of the best of late. It’s certainly much more in the fun kind of vigilante movie than the self-serious, unenjoyable “Death Wish” kind. It’s also better than Denzel Washington’s 2014 contribution to the subgenre, “The Equaliser”, which straddled between the two kinds of vigilante movie a little too much for me to really get into it.

 

It’s directed with cool visual style, but also a refreshingly unpretentious, straightforward action movie sensibility (and sharp brutality) that I for one celebrated. It’s certainly better than the lame trailer made it look. It’s just a shame that it stars one Keanu Reeves, who brings absolutely nothing in the way of acting talent or charisma here. I know his character is in a bad way, but Keanu (who has done fine work in “Parenthood”, “The Gift”, and “I Love You to Death”) acts like he doesn’t give a shit, which really does threaten to drag this one down. He gives a truly half-arsed performance that admittedly makes it a little difficult to be truly invested (That loveable puppy helps, though). Thankfully, there’s still lots to like, but Keanu really ought to have at least tried just a little bit.

 

Right off the bat the villains get a big fuck you from me for killing off one of the cutest movie dogs in recent cinema. That shit just pissed me right off within the first 15 minutes. I’d grown attached to it in such a short time. Couldn’t they have just left it at beating the guy up? I mean, it used to be that they’d rape and kill the wife and kidnap the daughter, but these pussies have to go and harm a totally defenceless animal? Modern day movie creeps are such girly men! You can tell right away that this is an action film inspired by an earlier era the moment you see the title character driving a kick-arse Mustang. Steve McQueen, anyone? And since the title character is a former hired killer, it’s much easier to buy him in vigilante mode since he’s not Jodie Foster or a 50ish architect. In one scene, Reeves takes down multiple henchmen at his house with almost as much precision and ease as the agents in “Equilibrium”. That’s some goddamn impressive dispatching right there. He’s no Scott Adkins, Tony Jaa, or Michael Jai White, but Reeves isn’t trying to be, either. You won’t see acrobatic spin-kicks aplenty with John Wick. He uses a gun, a knife, and when need be he employs his fists and feet too, but he does so extremely effectively. It’s like gun-kata mixed with Jiu-jitsu. Reeves is believably brutal and efficient in these scenes. I doubt Reeves is a black-belt in anything (He apparently learned Judo and Jiu-jitsu for the role), but he can certainly convincingly play an on-screen fighter from an action point of view. It’s his thesping (or his lack of effort in thesping, more precisely) that is the issue. Thankfully, he has been surrounded by decent actors, though several of them are underused. The standout is “Game of Thrones” actor Alfie Allen, in the mobster’s reckless dipshit son role (A cliché as old as time, but no doubt a fun one for an actor to play, and always effective in getting the audience riled up to want to see them get their arse handed to them by the hero/anti-hero). He’s no Vincent Cassel in the part (but few are), but you certainly won’t be thinking of poor put-upon Theon Greyjoy at any point. He’s much more interesting than Michael Nyqvist as his cold-hearted father, who is just OK. Willem Dafoe turns up in the strangest of films, and although underused, he’s really good in the film’s most interesting role. He’s a guy with connections to both Reeves and Nyqvist. So does John Leguizamo for that matter, but although he too is good, he’s in the film even less than Dafoe. We also get two curious cameos by Ian McShane (who is all grim-faced presence), and veteran action movie henchman David Patrick Kelly (“The Warriors”, “Commando”, “The Crow”) in an oddball part. He looks about 90 freakin’ years old these days, but his role is one of several weird little touches the film has that make the film more in the vein of “The Punisher” than “Man on Fire” or “Death Wish”, and I appreciated that. If any of you wrestling fans out there have ever wanted to hear ‘Big Sexy’ Kevin Nash put on a Russian accent, here’s your movie, as he plays a big, dumb Russian doorman named Francis. It’s actually not the worst Russian accent you’ll ever hear, so perhaps WWE and WCW missed out on some Cold War ‘heel’ work there at some point.

 

Although it’s not the classic some are heralding, this is definitely the preferable vigilante film of 2014, and closer to being my kind of thing than the more serious-minded ones out there. It’s the best Steven Seagal movie that Seagal never made, though Keanu Reeves half-arses it about as much as Seagal would’ve. Imaginary points off for the fake arse lightning at one point. Why do movies keep doing that? It looks terrible! The film was actually co-directed and co-produced by David Leitch (who also worked as a stuntman on “The Matrix” films), while the screenplay is by Derek Kolstad (whose prior experience has mostly been on Dolph Lundgren movie scripts).

 

Rating: B-