Review: The Pyramid

A father-daughter pair of archaeologists (Denis O’Hare and Ashley Hinshaw) are accompanied by a documentary crew (fronted by Christa Nicola) as they enter a three-sided pyramid in Egypt. The societal unrest outside is nothing compared to the horrors that await them inside, as it appears they have disturbed an ancient entity lurking within the pyramid.

 

Although not a bad film at all, this 2015 Egyptology-themed horror flick from director Gregory Levasseur (co-writer of “Haute Tension” and “Mirrors” for Alexandre Aja) is a bit limited, once it gets inside the title structure. The ‘found footage’ (or ‘first person POV’ if you prefer) aesthetic definitely doesn’t help, as it’s not only beyond played out, it adds nothing here and subtracts quite a bit. Since it’s required to get a bit dark down there, adding poor quality DV and shaky camerawork (despite the camera being placed on a robot with wheels!) proves a real eyesore. Having said that, the darkness does have the benefit of hiding the CGI monsters (some creepy little hairless cat-like monsters and one big Egyptian God that looks like a demonic kangaroo), which look a bit better than they might have with more light exposing them. But there’s no getting around the fact that after a pretty enjoyable opening 20 minutes, the film basically becomes a ‘long dark tunnel’ movie, not really my favourite kind of film. And believe me, this ain’t no “The Descent”.

 

Some of it works on the cheap ‘something’s about to make a loud noise and yet I’ll still jump because I’m a wimp’ superficial level. Ashley Hinshaw, meanwhile, is really, really appealing and not just because she has sizeable knockers. OK that’s part of it, but she’s got more to her than that (By the way, having very visibly familiar actors like Hinshaw and Denis O’Hare really kills the ‘found footage’ vibe. Seriously, guys, I’m getting sick of having to bring it up. It’s a rookie mistake, made worse by the film’s maddening inconsistency in using the ‘found footage’ motif overall). Aussie ex-pat actress Christa Nicola is sadly saddled with a character who goes from sensible journalist to ‘we all gon’ die!’ shrieking harpy way too quickly for my liking. Totally weak final five minutes that isn’t even salvaged by the final sting/shock. Screenwriters Daniel Meersand (his first notable screenwriting credit) and Nick Simon (who occasionally directs films as well) must’ve gone out for pizza with the finale still not written, and hurried it at the last second. It’s not remotely satisfactory, guys. Still, some of this is quite watchable in a schlocky way, especially if you’re into this kind of thing. Me, I was mostly into the lovely Ashley Hinshaw. Have I mentioned her yet? Oh, I have? Well she’s yummy. Yep, that’s the word I’m going with.

 

A modest, watchable Egypt-themed horror film that just isn’t very ambitious. One should perhaps be happy that it’s not worse, I mean it’s not Charlton Heston’s “The Awakening” at least. Egyptologists and archaeology nuts will like this one more than I did. I think it’s just OK.

 

Rating: C+