Review: Hellboy II: The Golden Army

The first “Hellboy” was an absurdist, tongue-in-cheek, visually imaginative and entertaining comic book action/fantasy film, but could director Guillermo Del Toro (“Blade II”, “Pan’s Labyrinth”, “Pacific Rim”) keep it up in this 2008 sequel? Could he even buck the trend and improve upon the original, which certainly wasn’t perfect? What, you think I’m gonna give you the answers right off the bat? You need to read the whole thing, cheapskate! Don’t make me get the big, red, man-child demon with the overgrown fist onto you!

 

This outing sees our favourite big, red, cigar-chomping misfit (the perfectly-cast Ron Perlman) and his fellow government-funded freaks (members of a secret Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defence) once again being called upon to save humanity from all manner of nasty beasties. In addition to the brawny (but not overly brainy) hornless demon Hellboy, there’s aquatic brain Abe Sapien (Doug Jones), and Hellboy’s sorta girlfriend Liz (Selma Blair), a pyrokinetic with a soft spot for the big red lug. They’re like “X-Men” on acid, perhaps. This time, they are joined by an ectoplasmic, Teutonic-accented bureaucrat named Johann Kraus (voice by Seth MacFarlane), a rigid taskmaster sent by Washington bigwigs to keep the reckless and destructive (if well-meaning) Hellboy in check. Jeffrey Tambor is back as the always disgruntled FBI man in charge of the BPRD. The plot this time centres around an old story Hellboy’s father figure Professor John Hurt told him years ago about an underground city of Elves and their war with the nasty humans, and the title army once used in an attempt to crush the humans, before the compassionate Elf King Balor (Roy Dotrice) brokered a truce between humans and Elves that has stood for centuries. Now Balor’s son Nuada (Luke Goss, yes, one of the guys from one-minute Britpop wonders, Bros) wants to awaken the Golden Army to crush the humans, and make Earth safe for his dying race, and other non-humans. He’s also been plasticising his sword-fighting skills, readying himself for a war. His more peace-minded twin Nuala (Anna Walton), who has some kind of psychic/mental link to Nuada, is opposed to her evil twin’s plans, but he cannot killer her, and vice versa, or else the other will die too! Seems like a job for Hellboy and co, right? Well, Nuada sure does make a convincing case for Hellboy and the other non-humans to join his cause, after all, human society has largely shun him and his kind. Why should Hellboy bother saving them?

 

The film opens in just the right kind of spirit, with a nice title crawl recapping Hellboy’s origins detailed more in the previous film, followed by a perfectly cast Hurt reading a young Hellboy a bedtime story. It’s a terrific opening, firstly because I love Hellboy’s origins- demons, Nazis in Scotland, scientists- there’s just something hilarious and goofy about it that appeals to me. Secondly, the bedtime story amuses not just because of the hokey CGI (which is perfect for a bedtime story, having it look a little ‘off’), but because it plays like a warped version of the bookends to “The Princess Bride”! It also helps set the wacked-out, tongue-in-cheek tone of the film and it’s brawny-but-dopey main character (think Jack Burton but with a lobster’s complexion and a frigging huge fist). After putting up with mopey and dreary superhero/comic book films of the last 10 years or so, here’s a comic book film franchise that is imaginative, true to its comic origins, and with arthouse production design, but still able to be thrilling, amusing, and old-school entertainment, with few moments of introspection, or ham-fisted intrusions from the real world. It’s a shame then, that this is looking to be a franchise of just two films at this point. I hope that changes, so long as the script is right. Writer-director del Toro (who mixed reality and fantasy to admittedly brilliant effect in “Pan’s Labyrinth”, though that was not a comic book or superhero film) resists the urge to over-indulge in mopey psychology, when there’s heaps of cool monsters to show off, lots of action, and amusing one-liners to dish out. That’s not to say the film is brainless, just that pure entertainment is the film’s primary ambition, an ambition it succeeds in fulfilling rather well.

 

As you would expect with del Toro, he has created (inspired by the comics, of course) an entirely unique world. It’s as if del Toro has found a kindred spirit in “Hellboy” creator Mike Mignola, and the film is full of the weird and elaborate creatures and beasties one comes to expect from a del Toro film and a “Hellboy” film, such as the cute, but savage ‘Tooth Fairy’ creatures, and Johann Kraus, who is like General Grievous from “Revenge of the Sith”, only entertaining and funny. But best of all is a giant, beanstalk monster that looks like a messed-up Treebeard- just awesome. The film is full of humour, most of it involving Hellboy (His encounter with an elderly lady who is really a troll has a Pythonesque quality. High point is when he flat-out punches her- so wrong, yet so right) and/or Kraus. Hellboy’s big confrontation with Kraus is very funny. An inexplicable duet between Hellboy and Abe as they sing along to Manilow’s ‘Can’t Smile Without You’ is another comedic high point (Meanwhile the biggest ‘WTF?’ moment comes from the ‘Trolls Market’ scene where Hellboy encounters what he thinks is a baby attached to a creatures chest. ‘I’m not a baby, I’m a tumour!’ is the reply. I don’t know what that was about, either, but it’s just an awesome moment).

 

So the film isn’t all that crash hot in plot terms (it’s a bit of a wheeze at times), and there isn’t a whole lot for Blair to do. The Liz/Hellboy romance isn’t as effective here as the Abe/Nuala relationship, which is quite interesting. The fact that Blair only has one facial expression (sullen) doesn’t help, though at least they’ve fixed up her flame FX by making them a more realistic orange rather than blue, which I always found phony. But, look, I reckon if you combine the best parts of this film with the best parts of the first film, you’d have a great film, instead of two pretty good films. This one’s a notch below the first, just due to the slow pace and overlength of it all (Not to mention the fact that I thought Nuada had a point about the human race, albeit with evil methods). But if they do make a third film, can I make a request for Hellboy to take on Pinhead and the Cenobites? That’d be awesome.

 

Scripted by the director, based on the work of Mike Mignola, the film is still most definitely worth seeing. I had a lot of fun. Think of it as the film that “Men in Black” wishes it was, and should have been. On a side note, I swear I could hear Jabba the Hutt’s distinctive chortle in the ‘Trolls Market’ scene. Please tell me if I’m wrong, but I swear it sounded just like him!

 

Rating: B-