Review: One-Way

Til Schweiger is a well-meaning, but womanising hotshot ad man about to marry the boss’ (Art Hindle- one of many indicators of a Canadian shoot) daughter Stefanie von Pfetten. In order to preserve his impending marriage (and therefore, his promising career) the selfish Schweiger falsifies evidence to get sleazy blackmailing rapist co-worker(and soon-to-be brother-in-law Sebastien Roberts off of rape charge against Schweiger’s assistant Lauren Lee Smith (a genuinely sweet, but somewhat unstable girl whom Schweiger also used to date- still with me? The parentheses aren’t without necessity here). Throw in a nun willing to lie (Can you say ‘unrealistic plot device’?), a slumming Eric Roberts as Schweiger’s lawyer, a big African-American General (Michael Clarke Duncan), and a late venture into rape revenge-thriller territory, and you’ve got one seriously messed up film.

 

2006 film from writer-director Reto Salimbeni gives talented and handsome German Schweiger his first English-language leading role (he also co-produced), and he’s reasonably well-cast as a guy who, thanks largely to Schweiger (and also, it has to be said, thanks to plot contrivances), is a lot more likeable than he really should be. It’s also the most batshit, amazingly convoluted film I’ve seen in a long time, and proves watchable in that sense, even though it’s not very good at all.

 

I mean, just look at that plot synopsis, people. I actually tried my best to make it as simple to read as possible, but it ain’t easy! Duncan’s role still utterly baffles me (seems more like an idea leftover from a Stephen King story to me), the whole lying nun development is just ridiculous, and when the film turns into a riff on “I Spit on Your Grave” (but with a strap-on dildo!- This film’s obsession with anal rape is pretty disturbing, really), you’ll be wondering who was passing out the bad brown acid on set. Mind you, with a German actor-producer and a Swiss writer-director, and a Canadian-Euro production, perhaps it’s somewhat understandable that the film is so freakin’ weird.

 

Decent cast, though Schweiger and Smith (in a tough role) are the only ones to really impress. Roberts’ role is especially undeserving of his (admittedly inconsistent) talents. Maybe if we put this film in a time capsule, a hundred years from now it will be opened, and future generations might be able to work out what the fuck this is all about. Until then, I’m throwing up my hands and saying you watch it and try to make something of it yourself. It certainly won’t bore you.

 

Rating: C+