Review: Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse


Tye Sheridan and Logan Miller play boy scouts Ben and Carter who are starting to have a waning interest for it as they get older. In fact, they plan to blow off their overnight scout camping trip to go to a party instead. They haven’t told their more eager scout buddy Augie (Joey Morgan) about any of this yet, though. Meanwhile, the townsfolk are quickly being turned into zombies, and our protagonists are heading right for danger. Sarah Dumont plays a local stripper the boys come across, Halston Sage plays the hot girl (and Carter’s sister) who Ben pines for, David Koechner plays the Dolly Parton-obsessed Scout Master, Patrick Schwarzenegger (!) turns up as Sage’s jerk boyfriend, and Cloris Leachman plays the resident cat lady.

 

They just won’t stop making these zombie comedies will they? This 2015 flick from director Christopher Landon (screenwriter of “Disturbia”, writer/director of several “Paranormal Activity” sequels/prequels) is neither the best nor the worst of the lot, it’s frankly just meh. Landon, who co-scripts with Carrie Evans and Emi Mochizuki gives us teen movie characters in a zombie horror-comedy like that’s meant to be enough of a difference from the norm to justify the film’s existence in either genre. It’s not, and Tye Sheridan (who didn’t charm me much in “Mud”, either) is a thoroughly nondescript presence in the lead role. Seriously, we even get the hot girl who doesn’t know the dorky best friend’s name, the girl’s douchebag boyfriend, and even the bit where they go off to buy beer with a fake ID. Gee, haven’t seen that one before. Oh, it’s got zombies this time? So? We even get zombie strippers, wow. What an innovative concept that…would’ve been in 2002.

 

The hot girl (Halston Sage) is hot, and both David Koechner and the inimitable Cloris Leachman are funny for their few moments on screen (kudos to whoever came up with Koechner’s priceless hairpiece), but that’s not enough for me. In fact, zombie Koechner attacking the fat kid to the tune of ‘9 to 5’ in his Dolly Parton decked-out house should be a lot funnier than it actually is. Since “Shaun of the Dead” did the same basic gag already with Dire Straits, I wasn’t amused. Some people will find it hilarious that a zombie takes a huge chunk out of someone’s arse at one point, but all I saw was an old lady violating a 15-16 year-old, so I couldn’t get into the intended spirit there. Also, why bring in Sage and her best friend only to sparingly use the former and even more sparingly use the latter? Clunky screenwriting there, or perhaps just really bad editing. Meanwhile, the so-called stripper in the film spends the entire film in a wife-beater and shorts. A stripper. Clothed. It’s important, people, though I see big things ahead of actress Sarah Dumont (That’s only partially a tit joke, she also gives the best performance in the film). Also, while I’m complaining, if you’re a parent who names your kid Auggie, as far as I’m concerned you’re a fucking arsehole. Why do that to a poor child? I’m almost serious.

 

There’s some cute bits, though, like when the fat kid tries to tie up a zombie with a special kind of knot he learned. I also found it funny that the brain-dead zombies were attracted to shit-hop music, but I get the feeling that wasn’t why I was meant to be laughing. Similarly, when I laughed that a nerdy scout protested the idea of ‘going around killing people’ when said people are actually zombies, I don’t think I was laughing for the intended reason there, either. There’s a nice impalement by mop, and a very funny bit of zombie nudity, too. My favourite bit was probably when the fat kid and the best friend sing ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’ to a zombified Britney Spears fan. The zombie makeup, by the way, isn’t bad I must say.

 

Hardly awful, but overall fairly dull and unoriginal in a subgenre that I’m already beyond sick of. There’s a few amusing moments and performances, but that’s about it. Better lead actors than Tye Sheridan and Logan Miller might’ve helped, as would better plotting. “Zombieland” it ain’t, in fact as much as I’m not a fan of “Shaun of the Dead”, even that film is better than this.

 

Rating: C

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