Review: Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice

Batman, AKA Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck) sees the destructive aftermath of the super-heroic deeds of Superman, AKA Clark Kent (Henry Cavill) battling evil and wonders if perhaps he needs to be pulled into line, if not worse (Or in other words, people stupidly complained about the carnage in “Man of Steel” and Zack Snyder is now needlessly apologising for it). For his part, Superman doesn’t much get the dark knight’s rubber fetish. Or something (I’m kidding. It’s Batman’s vigilante status that irks the Flying Boy Scout). They fight, egged on by supervillain Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg), who creates an entity that both superheroes can agree needs to be stopped: Doomsday. Also, Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) turns up. Yay! Amy Adams, Laurence Fishburne, Diane Lane, and in flashbacks Kevin Costner reprise their “Man of Steel” roles as Lois Lane, Perry White, Martha Kent, and Jonathan Kent. Holly Hunter plays a gullible Senator leading the investigation into Superman’s actions, Scoot McNairy plays a disabled former employee of Wayne Enterprises who turns to the dark side, Jeremy Irons is Wayne’s butler Alfred, Callan Mulvey plays a henchman, Jeffrey Dean Morgan cameos as Bruce Wayne’s dad, and Jason Momoa has a bit part as Aquaman.

I wasn’t keen on Christopher Nolan’s “Dark Knight” trilogy, but I thought Zack Snyder gave us a damn good “Man of Steel”, so I was interested to see what he’d do with both comic book icons in this 2016 flick, which Nolan (who co-wrote “Man of Steel”, ironically enough) takes a producing credit. Having now seen the film, I have to somewhat agree with the general consensus here…this isn’t good. In fact, as much as I think in theory it comes up with a more credible and interesting rationale for the central conflict than “Captain America: Civil War” did, it’s still quite a similar film, and in execution is ultimately an even weaker film than that overrated Marvel “Avengers 2.5” flick. Both films are a big ‘ol ball of mess, but as scripted by Chris Terrio (the infinitely superior “Argo”) and David S. Goyer (“Death Warrant”, “Blade”, “Dark City”, “The Dark Knight”, “Man of Steel”), this is the biggest mess of the two.

This may seem a bit trivial, but for me things got off to the wrong start when Snyder chose the least interesting, smallest font possible for the title and it’s done in low-key, nonchalant fashion ill-suited to the superhero genre. I know it’s a minor issue, but it was just very weird to me, though the subsequent scene of a young Bruce Wayne in a cave surrounded by a horde of bats was cool. However, we then get Holly Hunter playing William Hurt in “Captain America: Civil War”, basically and when you add the central conflict, plus the fact that the real villain mostly takes a back seat to said central conflict, this really is another version of “Captain America: Civil War”. I know this one came out first, but it bugged me nonetheless seeing it second, and the fact that Batman and Superman both have potentially interesting gripes against one another isn’t enough to make up for a familiar premise that is executed very badly. Why is Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) acting like Catwoman in “The Dark Knight Rises”? They essentially serve the same damn function, and to much lesser effect here. She’s virtually pointless and just adds to the unnecessary clutter in a film that doesn’t really find time to develop the character arcs of the two main characters, let alone anyone else. Also, we have to intuit that she’s Wonder Woman because her character, nor the cameos by The Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg (who?) are left completely unexplained, beyond a few symbols and Easter egg-y clues. That’s cool for the nerds, but how about actually telling a coherent story for everyone, Zack? Snyder can be a visually striking filmmaker, and I point to “Watchmen” as proof of that. However, here he’s so full of himself and overly indulgent with slow-mo comic book panel imagery dream sequence shit that it’s not only eye-rolling pretentiousness but also just not helpful to telling the story. The first meeting between the two title characters is also incoherent bullshit. I mean, did that even happen or was it just a nightmare one of them had? Fucked if I know. There’s no flow to Snyder’s storytelling in this film, it plays for the most part like a serious of cut-up images and poses. I didn’t get that impression with “Watchmen” or certainly “Man of Steel”, so something has clearly gone wrong here.

Also not helping matters is the way in which Ben Affleck plays Batman. On paper it seems like perfect casting to me, but Affleck looks suicidally bored and in my opinion, the “Man of Steel” director has instructed Affleck to play the character like a villain. He’s entirely unsympathetic, and that shouldn’t be the case in a film whose main villain is Lex Luthor, not Bruce Wayne. I never thought I’d say this, but even Christian Bale is better than Affleck, the latter of whom is lucky to be ahead of George Clooney and the severely miscast Val Kilmer in the role. Affleck’s not having any fun, and neither does the audience. Seriously, I’ve seen people attending funerals with more enthusiasm than Affleck brings here. But then, he’s barely given a chance to play a living, breathing character here. Bruce Wayne is barely present, despite being in most scenes of the film. What I mean is that the character, neither in Bruce Wayne form nor Batman guise really has any depth and seems to be coasting on reputation or prior familiarity with the character. Also, it has to be said that like Bale before him, Affleck changes his voice from Bruce Wayne to Batman. And, like Bale before him it’s ridiculous. It’s as silly as smarmy George Clooney not changing his voice. Or to put it another way, the only acceptable Batman is either Michael Keaton or, for sheer camp value Adam West. Speaking of camp, and the worst placement for it, Affleck uses the dopey Batman voice when interacting with Superman, who already knows he’s really Bruce Wayne. That’s unintentionally hilarious to me. Even worse are the Batman suits. The regular Batman suit (apparently based on the comics- yeah, I said comics. Sue me!) isn’t awful, but certainly too bulky-looking for my taste, but the really ridiculous one is the armoured Batsuit. He looks like Iron-Bat, with glowing eyes and it’s frankly even more ridiculous than Joel Schumacher’s nipply designs. Amy Adams is a good Lois Lane, but completely superfluous to this particular film, which is kind of ridiculous if you ask me. Snyder is clearly about as interested in character as he is in coherent, flowing storytelling, which is…not interested at all.

The film does have some plusses, with two main ones standing out: Firstly, the operatic music score by Hans Zimmer (“Rain Man”, “Inception”) and Junkie XL (“Mad Max: Fury Road”, “300: Rise of an Empire”) is not only pretty good, but it’s infinitely better and more distinctive than the scores Zimmer contributed to the “Dark Knight” trilogy, if you ask me. The second thing in the pro column here worth talking about is Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor, who runs off with the film for the little that it’s worth. Yes, it’s just Jesse Eisenberg doing his Jesse Eisenberg jerky genius thing, but that makes for terrific casting as the millennial Lex Luthor. He’s having a ball, and is actually the most evil screen version of Lex Luthor to date, even if I still find Gene Hackman’s smug egotist the more entertaining incarnation of the part. It’s such a shame then, that he has to fight for screen time with Snyder’s slow-mo rainy bullshit imagery. On a slightly smaller note, I was worried headed in that Jeremy Irons (not my favourite actor) mightn’t be the right fit for butler Alfred. Although he acts more like James Bond’s Q, he’s nonetheless a much better Alfred than the inappropriately cockney Sir Michael Caine (Much as I’ve grown to love Sean Pertwee on “Gotham”, the cockney bothers me there too. I don’t know how butlers really sound, but surely they don’t sound like chimney sweeps?!)

This is neither the worst “Superman” movie nor the worst “Batman” movie, but it’s pretty bad and no fun whatsoever. It’s a giant, incoherent and unwieldy waste of a potentially very good Superman vs. Lex Luthor movie in the service of lots of way-cool imagery and a dopey clash between superheroes that should’ve stayed in the imagination of adolescents. I can’t say I’m looking forward to “Justice League”.

Rating: C