Review: Andron

Ten people (Leo Howard, Michelle Ryan and Skin among them) wake up in a place they don’t know, and they can’t even remember who they are themselves, let alone recognise each other. The year is 2154, the world is run by several corporations and the masses are largely enslaved. The populace are viewers of a televised bloodsport event called ‘The Redemption Games’, and these ten people who have just woken up, are soon to realise that they are unwitting participants in this bloodsport. They must fight for survival in an unfamiliar underground maze-like structure, whilst outside the viewers are betting on who will survive. Overseeing the games is puppet master Adam (Alec Baldwin), working und the Chancellor (Danny Glover), who  isn’t terribly pleased with Adam when things don’t seem to be going quite according to plan.

Danny Glover seemed to up and lose his mind several years back, so his presence in this cheapo 2016 sci-fi flick from writer-director Francesco Cinquemani (whose background is tellingly mostly in shorts) isn’t much of a surprise to me. However, what the fuck are Alec Baldwin and Skunk Anansie front-woman ‘Skin’ doing in something this putrid and cheapjack? Surely they have more fruitful endeavours they can pursue? Or enough money that they don’t need to say yes to everything? I certainly can’t imagine what anyone saw in this dreary, derivative, and junky affair.

Baldwin spends much of the film staring at a screen pretending he’s not phoning it in. At no point is he remotely convincing in this attempt at deceit. He seems to have put more effort in appearing in the Latitude loans ad he did in Australia than in committing to a performance in this. I get that he’s clearly interacting with a lot of green screen, but it’d be a below par performance even for an actor in cut scene in a video game. Glover has been seriously erratic in his performances in recent years and this might just be the worst performance he’s ever given. Yes, even worse than his unrestrained work in “Saw”. Whilst Baldwin appears to give less than zero effort, Glover seems remarkably amateurish for a 30+ year veteran actor and Oscar nominee. I mean, I get it: The budget was clearly meagre, the work was probably easy and breezy (it was shot in 21 days), and American actors like to vacation in Europe every now and then. But this is shit. You could put Christopher Lambert in the Baldwin role and you’d swear this was a late 90s Albert Pyun sci-fi cheapie. Then again, Lambert has more screen presence than the majority of the cast here at the very least, including Baldwin whose presence is barely…present. Yeah, he’s in quite a bit of the film, but he clearly has no investment in the project. In fact, aside from Michelle Ryan and Skin (who at least has a unique presence, if not acting talent), no one stands out here in a good way.

As for the plot, it’s a dreary combo of “Cube” and “The Hunger Games”, with dashes of “Saw” and “Fight Club”…minus the interest that such a description might suggest. It’s dull. Exceptionally dull. In addition to an Albert Pyun cheapie it reminds me of those 80s Italian-made knock-offs of more well-known genre flicks, often roping in a faded American star for ‘legitimacy’ (Fred Williamson, Lee Van Cleef, Vic Morrow, etc).

If it had taken more of a fight/martial arts movie approach to things and cast legit fighters/action stars (Scott Adkins, Lateef Crowder, Tony Jaa, Yayan Ruhian, etc.) at least it might’ve worked somewhat on a physical/adrenalin-pumping action movie level. Although lead Leo Howard has a martial arts background, for the most part the fights are boring, and this is cheap, derivative, and crushingly dull. The marquee casting of Baldwin and Glover probably works against the film more than for it, given the lack of effort provided by people who should know better. Appallingly anti-climactic ending, too. No way am I watching a sequel, I’d be shocked if one ended up getting made anyway.

Rating: D