Review: Race to Witch Mountain


Vegas cabbie and ex-con Dwayne Johnson has two oddball kids (AnnaSophia Robb and Alexander Ludwig) enter his cab. Except, they’re not actually kids, they’re aliens with special powers who need Johnson to drive them, and they will pay him handsomely for the long journey. On their tail, though, are humourless government spook Ciaran Hinds (perfectly cast) and his goons (Tom Everett Scott and Christopher Marquette). Carla Gugino plays an astrophysicist who is currently visiting a sci-fi convention (!), while Garry Marshall turns up as a UFO conspiracy nut.


The original “Escape to Witch Mountain” was one of Disney’s best pre-1980 non-animated family films, in my opinion. The follow-up “Return From Witch Mountain” was…not. Now there’s this 2009 film from Andy Fickman (“The Game Plan”, “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2”), which although credited as being a remake of “Escape”, is pretty different. The results are somewhere in between the two previous films, but thankfully much closer in quality to “Escape”. It’s not as good as that film, but it’s harmless enough.


It’s good-looking, fast-paced, and Carla Gugino is perfectly lovely as always. Although the role of ‘rational guy in a crazy irrational situation’ isn’t the best use of Dwayne Johnson, he’s fine too. He looks a little like this is just a pay-check assignment for him, though, and a guy with as much money as The Rock presumably had even before moving into acting, probably shouldn’t be relying on pay-check assignments. As for the kids, AnnaSophia Robb is vastly superior to the rather forced Alexander Ludwig. It’s nice to see the stars of the original films Kim Richards and Ike (now Iake, yes that’s Iake with a capital I not a lowercase L) Eisenmann in cameos, too. It’s a complete and utter waste of Cheech Marin as a mechanic, though. He’s not remotely funny or interesting. Also, can someone please explain to me why Tom Everett Scott never happened? I truly don’t understand that one, and both he and Chris Marquette are thoroughly wasted here in useless roles.


Keeping this film on the move was a wise decision, because it’s otherwise just OK family fare at best. Kids will probably enjoy it, though probably not the littlest ones, given that Dwayne Johnson smashes a guy’s head through a car window at one point. That one even surprised me. The screenplay is by Matt Lopez (the surprisingly nice Adam Sandler film “Bedtime Stories”) and Mark Bomback (“Die Hard 4.0”, “Unstoppable”, “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes”).


Rating: C+

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