Review: X-Men: Apocalypse

Archaeologists uncover the tomb of the powerful mutant En Sabah Nur, AKA Apocalypse (Oscar Isaac) who is freed from his holding cell and proceeds to run amok, recruiting a couple of followers along the way. He wants to set the world back to what it was during his era, which could lead to absolute global catastrophe. Needless to say Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) and his mutant X-Men have their work cut out for them. Meanwhile, Eric Lensherr/Magneto (Michael Fassbender) has his cover blown while hiding out in Poland, leading to tragedy which in turn causes Eric to act out violently. Mystique/Raven (Jennifer Lawrence) turns up in East Berlin and comes across young mutant Nightcrawler (Kodi Smit-McPhee), whilst a new face turns up at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, Scott Summers (Tye Sheridan), younger brother of Alex/Havoc (Lucas Till). Scott has the special power of shooting powerful laser beams out of his eyes, something that he feels to be more of a curse than a superpower at times. Also on hand are Jean Grey (Sophie Turner), Hank McCoy/Beast (Nicholas Hoult), and eventually the lightning fast Peter Maximoff/Quicksilver (Evan Peters). Rose Byrne also returns as CIA agent Moira McTaggart. Look out for a cameo by Ally Sheedy, amusingly cast as a teacher in 1983.

I have not been the biggest fan of the modern day superhero/comic book film, and the “X-Men” franchise in particular has been a pretty uneven one for me. I enjoyed the first film somewhat, and liked “The Last Stand” and “First Class” even more than that. However “X2” I think is incredibly overrated, the first two “Wolverine” films didn’t do much for me, and the previous “Days of Future Past” finally broke me. I find almost all of these comic book/superhero films, especially the Marvel ones contain far too many characters so that someone like me who isn’t already steeped in prior comic book geek knowledge got lost. As far as I’m concerned it’s not entirely my fault either, as in that film in particular I felt a particular snobbery aimed at anyone not already among the converted. ‘We don’t have time to explain anything to you, if you get left behind that’s on you’ seemed to be the order of the day there, and the mixture of too many characters and time-travel just lost me (along with my general mild indifference to the franchise itself). Well, this 2016 film from director Bryan Singer (who still hasn’t measured up to his early promise with “The Usual Suspects”) at least has the benefit of being coherent, so it’s got that over “Days of Future Past”. However, it’s certainly not the best film in the franchise.

I was initially thrown off by all the “Stargate” nonsense in the film’s opening, as at least the Nazi Germany stuff of the first few films made sense thematically. This…took some time to get used to. It also took me a little time to adjust to the film’s timeline and general scenario, not to mention my lack of interest in several of the characters leaving me wondering if I’m supposed to remember them from previous films or not. However, I’ve got to say that once I got my head around it, the idea of ancient mutants was one I kinda liked. Furthermore, Oscar Isaac is genuinely quite scary in a scene (and film) stealing performance. Yeah, it’s an Ancient Egyptian-ish variation on Magneto, but an infinitely more menacing and interesting alternative. This franchise for some ridiculous reason never seems to want me to hate Magneto, usually the chief villain. This character is everything Magneto should be but hasn’t been, at least on screen: Interesting, terrifying, powerful, cool etc. It’s also great to see a young Nightcrawler (the best thing by far about “X2” was Alan Cumming’s Nightcrawler) played by an unrecognisable Kodi Smit-McPhee. Meanwhile, I’m not normally a Tye Sheridan fan but in what may be controversial to say, I think he makes for a better and more interesting Cyclops than his elder version played elsewhere by James Marsden. Evan Peters’ Quicksilver was by far the best thing about “Days of Future Past” and is once again a scene-stealer here. Honestly, if I ever assembled a team of completely kick-arse superheroes, he’d be there alongside Nightcrawler, Superman, and Dr. Manhattan from “Watchmen”, partly to be the comic relief. However, for the most part the rest of the film is very much…whatever. I didn’t care all that much about it whenever the aforementioned characters weren’t front and centre.

I was especially frustrated once again with the characters of Magneto and Dr. Xavier, as played here respectively by Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy. As good an actor as James McAvoy is and as solid as he was in “First Class”, here he’s once again diverting too much from Patrick Stewart to make it plausible that they’re the same guy at different ages. It bothered me in the previous film and it still bothers me here. Good performance, wrong performance. People may change over time, but this has always felt like two totally different people with the same name, occupation, and friends. As for Michael Fassbender and Magneto, who honestly gives a fuck about him here? Having his character lose his family here is just the same beat as always, except it’s family instead of Nazi Germany. OK, he’s a bad guy (or at least a tweener) with a somewhat legit grudge against humanity…anything else? After how many films now? Meanwhile, why would a guy named Magneto be working in an occupation involving a plethora of metallic machinery? ‘Coz it leads to a ‘way cool’ scene where Magneto loses his shit and gets all vengeance-y on people. That’s why. Yeah, that’s not enough for me, thanks. There’s already a much better version of you in the film, Oscar Isaac’s Apocalypse who for me is the most awesomely powerful and destructive comic book creation since Dr. Manhattan. Despite looking like a blue Peter Boyle in “Young Frankenstein”, Apocalypse is also the best villain in the MCU by far. It takes a genuine team effort to defeat this guy, Magneto just doesn’t even come close to measuring up. Also, just because this film is a prequel does not mean I should have to sit through the same frigging pleading from Xavier to Magneto. I’m beyond sick of it and was never a huge fan of the franchise to begin with. So none of that shit held any interest for me whatsoever.

I also didn’t see much reason to bring back Rose Byrne’s character only to have her memory erased, that seemed pointless. As for Jennifer Lawrence…she can act a bit, just not in this franchise or the “Hunger Games” franchise. She also really needs to watch her overall demeanour and body language both on and off-screen. It’s about time someone told it to her straight, because here for instance she looks like she’s been blackmailed to appear in the film. Watch the RBF, Ms. Lawrence, it’s not very becoming at all. I felt a bit sorry for poor Olivia Munn, who in an underwritten part looks like an extra who turned up after cosplaying at a local Comic-Con. I have no idea whose idea it was to cast ginger Sophie Turner to play the younger version of dark-haired Famke Janssen’s Dr. Jean Grey, but I’m guessing their name rhymes with Skeevy Blunder. Different coloured hair, different coloured eyes, hell even a completely different personality…just completely frigging different. She’s all wrong, and given the way the previous film dealt with timelines, I think it’s a relevant criticism. Putting that obvious idiocy aside, poor Turner seems to me like a typical case of a TV actress who just won’t be able to shake off their well-known on-screen TV persona. She’s Sansa Stark, always will be I’d wager. It’s the Jennifer Aniston syndrome, basically. Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine gets a memorable entrance, but I find it funny that his character is the one that seems to escape having to be played by a younger actor no matter the timeline.

A better outing than the previous film, but only because some of the characters interested me, especially the villainous Apocalypse. However for the most part this is pretty mediocre, and the continued aura of complete disregard for anyone not already among the converted still pervades. It’s not a bad film, but I didn’t much care, either. Cute, if inevitable use of a certain early Metallica song at one point, though. The screenplay is by Simon Kinberg (“X-Men: The Last Stand”, and the trio of misfires “X-Men: Days of Future Past”, “Fantastic Four”, and “This Means War”) from a story by Kinberg, director Singer, Michael Dougherty & Dan Harris (the scribes behind Singer’s “X2” and “Superman Returns”).

Rating: C+