Review: Ready to Rumble

Two brain-dead wrestling fanatics (David Arquette and Scott Caan) lose the plot when their hero, has-been wrestler Jimmy ‘The King’ King (Oliver Platt) loses unceremoniously to Diamond Dallas Page (as himself), by order (i.e. Screw job, hello citizens of Montreal) of promoter Titus Sinclair (Joe Pantoliano) and booted off the show (WCW’s Nitro, heavily promoted throughout the film) for being a drunken loser. They set about finding the now AWOL King, having him shaped up by legendary trainer Sal Bandini (Martin Landau, an Oscar winner!) and orchestrate his return to the big-time. Easier said than done. Rose McGowan plays a Nitro Girl one of our would-be heroes takes a shine to, Caroline Rhea is Platt’s white trash ex, and various noted ‘sports entertainment’ personalities appear as themselves (some easier to spot than others).

Dumb-arse 2000 Brian Robbins (minor successes like “Varsity Blues” and “Good Burger”) comedy made with the cooperation of WCW, which is the Amicus Films to WWE/WWF’s Hammer films, if you will). It’s able to be somewhat appreciated by a wrestling fan like me, but even some die-hard wrestling fanatics loathe it for the repercussions surrounding the promotion of the film, involving star Arquette actually turning up on WCW and actually winning the World Heavyweight title as a promotional stunt before the film’s release. A stupid move if ever there was one. Some just loathe it because WCW wasn’t half the promotion that the WWE/WWF was and is. I, not having seen much WCW (nor did I watch the WWE much around this time either, I was on a long hiatus) was able to simply enjoy it (to a point) as a “Dumb and Dumber” slacker/gross-out comedy that revolved around a subject I knew a little about. Most people didn’t even appreciate it on that dumb-arse level (and yes I’m going for the world record usage of the term ‘dumb-arse’ in a movie review).

I certainly got a kick out of spotting the wrestling superstars (Goldberg, DDP, Randy Savage- who is genuinely funny here, Curt ‘Mr. Perfect’ Hennig, Bam Bam Bigalow, and best of all, announcer ‘Mean Gene’ Okerlund). Sure, the humour is really patchy (it fares best when focusing on the wrestling side of things, rather than the buddy movie genre), sure it’s probably not at all good on any traditional, logical level. I mean, Platt’s massive miscasting is a sticking point. The guy can act, the guy can be funny, but he sure don’t look even remotely like a wrestler, not even an over-the-hill latter day Ric Flair/Bob Backlund/Jerry Lawler kind of wrestler, Lawler seemingly being the primary inspiration for Platt’s character. He doesn’t have to have the abs like a John Morrison, Ultimate Warrior, or Rick Rude, but c’mon, he’s not at all credible. Sadly, Platt’s also not given much opportunity to be funny in the role, either. Why not just cast a wrestler then? DDP shows genuine talent here, but surely they could’ve gotten someone on the WCW roster, or even a recently retired wrestler to play the part- maybe trying to resurrect a real wrestler’s career! And don’t get me started on Platt’s wrestling catch phrase- ‘I will rule you!’, which is stupid. Also, Rose McGowan seriously can’t act to save herself (her work here is truly one of the worst performances I’ve seen outside of an Ed Wood film!). I have to admit the initial humour of Oscar-winner Landau essentially playing famed wrestling trainer Stu Hart of the infamous Hart family, soon evaporates as he’s given nothing at all to do for the rest of the film except look mildly bewildered by his participation in the sometimes raunchy goings on.

Scripted by Steven Brill (Adam Sandler’s underrated “Little Nicky”), this isn’t what I’d call a good movie. However, it’s likeable, good natured, sometimes funny (Joey Pants is perfectly cast as the WCW’s shyster version of WWE’s Vince McMahon, or perhaps WCW’s own Eric Bischoff), and better than anyone could’ve expected. It’s watchable enough for people with at least a passing interest in ‘sports entertainment’ (which is pre-arranged and choreographed, but those bumps can still hurt, especially when they go wrong!).

Rating: C+