Review: The Faculty

An Ohio high school is invaded by an alien menace that infects the teaching staff of the school, beginning with the hard-arse football coach (Robert Patrick). School nerd Elijah Wood and bitchy cheerleader Jordana Brewster lead a group of assorted students (possibly lesbian loner Clea DuVall, wannabe intellectual jock Shawn Hatosy, brainy but lazy drug dealer Josh Hartnett, and sweet-natured newbie Laura Harris) to dealing with this invasion before the infection spreads to the students and beyond. Usher plays one of Hatosy’s football buddies, Chris McDonald is Wood’s dad, Jon Stewart is the friendly science teacher, Famke Janssen is a mousy teacher, Piper Laurie and Daniel von Bargen are also teachers, Bebe Neuwirth is the school principal, and Salma Hayek is the school nurse. Hell yes. Look for ‘Ain’t It Cool News’ web guy Harry Knowles as another teacher, the big redhead ain’t hard to spot.

In the years after “Scream”, we saw a whole swag of teen-oriented horror movies, usually starring a bunch of teen heartthrobs and TV stars. Most of these were terrible or at least inferior to “Scream”. However, some were actually pretty good, including the first “Final Destination”, and this reworking of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” from 1998, scripted by the then-ubiquitous Kevin Williamson (“Scream”, “I Know What You Did Last Summer”, TV’s “Dawson’s Creek”). This one’s even got a real filmmaker at the helm in Robert Rodriguez (“From Dusk ‘Til Dawn”, “Once Upon a Time in Mexico”, “Sin City”, “Machete”), though the casting of Salma Hayek as the school nurse is the only clue to the film’s pedigree. This is definitely more a Williamson film than a Rodriguez one, though it’s miles ahead of many of the teen horror pics of the late 90s and early 00s (and it’s basically a sci-fi film anyway), including the similar “Disturbing Behaviour”. A blend of “Body Snatchers” (or “The Puppet Masters”, if you’re an a-hole), John Carpenter’s “The Thing”, and “The Breakfast Club”, it has also aged relatively well, having seen it again in 2019. As far as I’m concerned, any film that starts with The Offspring’s ‘The Kids Aren’t Alright’ can’t be too bad. However, we’re also talking about a film that features that abomination of a rock band Creed shitting all over Alice Cooper’s ‘I’m 18’, whilst Soul Asylum apparently do a version of ‘School’s Out’ (I like Soul Asylum but don’t remember that in the film), and there’s an appalling nu-metal cover of Pink Floyd’s ‘Another Brick Pt. 2’. But as uneven as the soundtrack may be, the film itself is fun stuff. Nothing brilliant, but fun, and that’s all it’s trying to be, though it’s a pretty minor entry in Rodriguez’s résumé.

The casting alone is fascinating here, especially looking back from a 2019 perspective. Of all the youngsters in the cast, Elijah Wood and Usher (Raymond) were probably the most familiar to audiences of the time, and in 2019, that has probably not changed. Shawn Hatosy is an underrated actor, but I think the fact that Jordana Brewster, Josh Hartnett, and Clea DuVall never really learned to go beyond their typical screen persona and stretch themselves might explain why they never attained superstardom. Sure, Brewster has the “Fast and the Furious” franchise, Hartnett occasionally appeared in the tabloids and recently a bit of TV, and DuVall still works, but compare that to Frodo and Usher...hardly a favourable comparison is it? Of the youngsters, Wood is indeed the most impressive, and although you can’t really say that his future as Frodo is evident, he’s instantly empathetic as the school nerd. Hatosy, essentially in the Emilio Estevez role from “The Breakfast Club” is probably the next most likeable, largely because his character breaks from the Estevez mould eventually by wanting to be more than just ‘The Jock’. He does however, stick to the Estevez trajectory in choosing the misfit Ally Sheedy...er...Clea DuVall over the bitchy cheerleader Jordana Brewster. The gorgeous Brewster has always disappointed me as an actress, but she plays hot and aloof perfectly fine here. At least here she’s playing off Elijah Wood (a real actor) instead of Paul Walker and Vin Diesel, so that probably helped her. DuVall, meanwhile, does a perfectly fine Ally Sheedy impersonation. It’s not the film’s fault that she eventually ended up being a one-trick pony as an actress. I do still have serious issues with Josh Hartnett, however. It took me longer to get annoyed with his stock-standard ticks and mannerisms here, but watching this again, he seriously bugged me. His mumbly and creaky-voiced speaking style in particular just felt like nails on a chalkboard to me (He and DuVall sound so similar, you’d think they were pod people). Clearly cast because of his surface-level Brando/Jimmy Dean qualities, the guy’s severely limited range is on show here, and he seems a tad too satisfied with his own brooding coolness. Laura Harris’ aw-shucks routine, meanwhile, gets old after a while (especially if this isn’t your first viewing of the film). The background is peppered with other familiar young faces too, so keep a lookout for Danny Masterson and Jon Abrahams, too.

The adult cast is clearly having a whale of a time being bad. Robert Patrick is top-notch as the sinister football coach, Bebe Neuwirth is similarly creepy as the Principal, whilst Piper Laurie (“Carrie”) is apt casting as the Drama teacher, and if Salma Hayek was my school’s nurse, I would’ve spent all my time at High School in sick bay! Laurie is actually pretty scary. Not “Carrie” scary, but certainly creepy. It’s bizarre to see Famke Janssen playing a mousy teacher here, but hot or not, it wouldn’t surprise me if she was an alien, and her initial casting against type pays off later. By the way, do you think the late Daniel von Bargen’s character’s classes got much of attendance? I get the feeling he’s the type of teacher who doesn’t give a fuck. And yes, that is a “Seinfeld” reference, guilty as charged. It’s a little odd to see Jon Stewart in this, perhaps because he’s such a fixture of late night TV/political satire in our minds rather than an actor, but he makes for a pretty cool science teacher.

I should note that whilst I make fun of the film’s similarities to “The Breakfast Club”, the characters here, though stereotypical, are certainly more likeable and identifiable than in most horror films during this period. The CGI FX here are actually quite OK, as most FX from the late 90s seem to have dated quicker than FX from generations before that. The creature design is fascinating, at the very least. It’s interesting to note that whilst the 1978 version of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” used a floral motif for its aliens, this film gives us decidedly amphibious and aquatic alien beasties. Elijah Wood’s little conspiracy theory rant about aliens and Hollywood seemed to amuse some people, but I had my issues with it. It’s silly and unnecessary given that there is already enough real goings on witnessed by the characters to make the assumption that aliens are in existence. I did like his rationale for aliens targeting Ohio instead of the White House, however. That was funny and quite true, really. Hartnett and Wood being stalked by the entire football team at one point is a fun visual, but Rodriguez probably should’ve done more with it. In fact, that’s my biggest gripe with the film. It’s OK, but it could’ve been even better. It has a disappointing cop-out ending, too. No one could possibly be satisfied with how this one wraps up.

This isn’t remembered as a masterpiece of any kind, but it is certainly a watchable and likeable genre entry from a period in teen-oriented horror that was pretty damn dire. Here’s one of the better ones, folks.

Rating: B-