Review: Rock Star

It’s the ultimate rock fantasy and loosely based on a true story; Set vaguely sometime in the 80s, Chris (Mark Wahlberg) is the passionate lead singer of a cover band of his favourite 80s heavy metal band, Steel Dragon. When Steel Dragon’s problematic lead singer (Jason Flemyng) is given the boot, the band are on the lookout for a new front man and have seen a tape of Chris’ meticulous recreation of Steel Dragon’s songs and his own vocal talents, invite him to join the band. Chris’ dream has come true, and right on time, considering his band mates were tiring of playing the same old stuff to his slavish dictating, and had just given him the boot, so they could pursue a different sound. He’s thrust in to the limelight, with a new name (‘Izzy’, of course), an inconsistent faux-British accent, and all the partying perks that go along with the rock star life. Chris’ girlfriend Jennifer Aniston isn’t so happy about that last one, feeling like he’s losing interest in her, and losing himself amidst all the sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll. Dagmara Dominiczyk plays a lecherous bisexual hanger-on, Timothy Spall is Steel Dragon’s manager (who is a sleaze with a heart), Timothy Olyphant is one of Chris’ old band mates, Matthew Glave is Chris’ antagonistic and hopelessly square cop brother, Dominic West is lead guitarist and ostensibly Steel Dragon’s leader in Flemyng’s absence, causing friction with Chris, who sees himself as more than a singer-for-hire. Look for former Ozzy axe-man Zakk Wylde as a Steel Dragon member, and model Rachel Hunter (former Mrs. Rod Stewart) as a typical rock star wife.

Sanitised, surface-level treatment of a terrific idea, this 2001 Stephen Herek (who made “Mr. Holland’s Opus”, “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure”, and one of the best versions of “The Three Musketeers”) film suffered from being released a year or two after the much better “Almost Famous”. However, the central idea is one that could’ve made a good film. It is ostensibly inspired by the real-life story of Tim ‘Ripper’ Owens, a Judas Priest fan who got the chance to front the band when original singer Rob Halford bowed out. But nothing here goes beyond clichés and surface-level treatment, including the characters and the uninspired lead performance by Wahlberg. He’s boring, and he has a fatal flaw as an actor in that he never looks to be having any fun...or going through any kind of emotion at all, come to think of it (aside from “Boogie Nights”, “The Other Guys”, and “The Departed”). Equally dull is the always irritating Aniston, in an especially humourless, whiny role that thankfully has her off-screen a lot of the time. Unlike most people, I still feel Aniston always plays an extension of her 90’s TV persona, or at the very least, falls back on the same mannerisms and quirks. Even Flemyng, essentially playing Rob Halford, is a disappointment as the only similarity he really has to Halford is that his character turns out to be gay. See, it’s the most obvious joke possible, and without it, the story could just as easily be about that Filipino guy who replaced Steve Perry in Journey (seriously, that guy is dead-on accurate vocally!). The characters aren’t characters, they’re ciphers pretending to be characters.

The soundtrack, pretty much ripped from my personal CD collection, is full of great songs, but even the music manages to be a problem. The soundtrack features some metal, but mostly a lot of ‘hair metal’, hard rock (the almighty AC/DC and KISS are on tap), and mainstream rock (Bon Jovi’s terrific but mainstream ‘Livin’ on a Prayer’ is here, and more alarmingly, Aussie pop-rock act INXS with ‘Devil Inside’- what?). It’s far too eclectic. More problematic is the music performed in the film. The fictionalised Judas Priest band, named Steel Dragon, are supposed to be heavy metal, but their songs run the gamut from pop-metal/‘hair metal’, the New Wave of British heavy metal (Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, etc.) and what I’d term either Hard Rock or Soft Metal. Some genuine heavy metal-sounding songs turn up now and again (with a very Ronnie James Dio flavour at times). Some non-metal fans might not notice the difference in musical styles, but for me, it was obvious that the band’s musical style was far too eclectic. I like power ballads plenty enough (hence why I love Def Leppard), but Judas Priest and their ilk weren’t known for too many (if any) of those, but Steel Dragon seem to wallow in power ballads.  Basically, they’re fake-arse gangstas (kinda like Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch…) That said, the songs themselves are well-performed and quite listenable (Zakk Wylde on guitar is never a bad thing, and Jason ‘Son of John’ Bonham is on drums), I’ve certainly heard worse fake-arse gangstas in films about musicians. It’s just that it was supposed to be heavy metal, and most heavy metal bands have a distinct form of metal that they subscribe to and rarely waver from (at least not until the 90s kicked in), and Steel Dragon didn’t convince on that level. So what we are left with is surface-level, mainstream Hollywood entertainment, i.e. a typical Herek film (He is the “Mighty Ducks” guy, after all).

There are some OK moments sprinkled throughout (and some decent laughs), and fun roles for Spall (who played a flatulent drummer in a much better rock movie, “Still Crazy”) and Glave (once again playing the perfect a-hole), and the magnetic Olyphant steals his every scene from the inexpressive Wahlberg. The screenplay is by John Stockwell (who went on to direct “Blue Crush”, “Into the Blue”, and “Turistas”) and is truly run-of-the-mill, safe Hollywood stuff on a subject that calls for anything but ‘safety’, given we’re talking about Heavy Metal, which has housed such hell-raisers and bold personalities as Alice Cooper, Ozzy Osbourne, the guys from W.A.S.P., Motley Crue, and Lemmy of Motorhead, among others. By comparison, this is the ‘kids table’ version of Metal (right down to Wahlberg adopting of a fake Brit accent, something I’ve never heard to be true in any metal band whatsoever, not to mention that he drops it frequently), with Herek so careful to shy away from the sleaze that it all happens behind closed doors and off-screen. Does he even like heavy metal? It doesn’t seem so. At least Cameron Crowe (“Almost Famous”) seemed to know and love rock music, and knew the kind of music his fictional band should be singing (even if the Stillwater songs weren’t all that memorable in “Almost Famous”). Herek seems like a ‘square’ who mistakenly thinks all forms or rock are the same.

Overall, this one’s a real disappointment, I wasn’t much into it at all. People less familiar with the subject matter might enjoy it, but I’d still suggest watching “Almost Famous”. The music is less eclectic and the film itself is vastly superior. This one’s just a lightweight comedy-drama, barely above a sitcom level in sophistication, right down to the dopey ending that thinks it’s oh-so clever (Hello, Seattle!), but is likely to enrage anyone who actually knows anything about what really happened to most heavy metal acts as the angsty 90s rolled in. A light and fluffy film about sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll? Really?

Rating: C