Review: Dark Age

Does a killer croc movie really need a plot synopsis? Oh well, if I must. Northern Australia is plagued by a killer croc, and local indigenous elders persuade ranger John Jarratt that the croc is some kind of sacred species to them and shouldn’t be killed. This puts Jarratt at odds with the local mayor (Ray Meagher) and poacher Max Phipps. Nikki Coghill plays Jarratt’s love interest.

This 1987 Ozploitation flick from director Arch Nicholson (the genuinely terrifying Aussie TV movie “Fortress”) is a bit of a cult item overseas with Quentin Tarantino among its admirers. Yet, it remained unreleased in Australia until 2011 due to distributor issues. Having seen the film, I have to say it sadly wasn’t the wonderfully cheesy hidden gem I was hoping for nor expecting. Being produced by the schlocky Anthony I. Ginnane (producer of just about every Ozploitation film of the 70s and 80s you’ve ever seen), I must admit I thought this would be some kind of stupid fun at least. Sadly, it’s pretty boring for the most part. Scripted by Sonia Borg (the popular “Storm Boy”), Stephen Cross (his only credit to date), and Tony Morphett (“Robbery Under Arms” and just about every Aussie TV show of the last 40 years) it lacks humour, gore, silliness, fun, badness…something. Anything. Instead we get a large helping of ‘meh’ and not enough action or horror. What the film has going for it are good cinematography, decent croc attacks, and a rock-solid cast full of familiar Aussie faces. Ultimately that’s not nearly enough though.

The first attack is actually really well-done for this sort of thing, even if the music score by Danny Beckerman (“Fortress”) takes away some of the fun, it’s pretty cheap-arse stuff. Speaking of cheap, the croc is clearly fake at times, but holy crap it even eats a child! Goddamn, even “Jaws” wasn’t that sick. So I perversely appreciated that. It’s not what I’d call a particularly graphic film, but there’s a bit of the grisly stuff here and there. I just wish there was a lot more of it, but alas it’s all few and far between on the kill front. Meanwhile, all of the indigenous characters and accompanying cultural elements are ultimately a debit because they’re clichéd and poorly integrated into a film that doesn’t need to be aiming for cultural or artistic cred. It’s not “Rabbit-Proof Fence”, for crying out loud, and all it does is slow the film down to a crawl. That more than anything is what kills the fun here.

As I said, the cinematography by Andrew Lesnie (The “Lord of the Rings” trilogy) is actually really good, helped by some lovely locations. Director Nicholson is no Russell Mulcahy (despite doing 2^nd Unit work on Mulcahy’s striking giant pig classic “Razorback”), but the film’s look is definitely a chief selling point. As is the cast, headed by John Jarratt. Jarratt’s kind of a goofy choice for a rugged rural hero-type (and I’m as shocked as anyone that he has subsequently turned himself into a figure of laconic menace in horror films), but in his own gawky (yet strangely philandering) way he’s still very typically Australian. We have our Bryan Browns and Chips Raffertys, but we also have a way of taking the piss out of ourselves and I think Jarratt’s rather ‘unco’ quality plays into that a bit, almost Alvin Purple minus the “Benny Hill” sleaze I guess. Nikki Coghill is always an OK presence, and indeed that’s how she fares here. The real standouts are veteran character actors Max Phipps and Ray ‘Stone the flamin’ crows!’ Meagher in the less reputable roles. Although he has a touch of the silent movie villain ham about him, the late Phipps was always good at sleazy bad guy roles and he’s a perfect jerk here in the film’s best performance. TV mainstay Meagher gets the Murray Hamilton role from “Jaws” as the local mayor who doesn’t want to hear any of this bullshit about crocs. He’s absolutely spot-on in the role. If there’s any fun to be had here, it’s supplied by Meagher and Phipps and sadly they’re not in the film nearly enough, Meagher especially.

A film that could’ve and should’ve been another “Razorback”. It’s good-looking but almost no fun at all, despite a pretty game cast. Bit boring, I’d rather watch the more recent and genuinely terrifying “Black Water” again instead.

Rating: C