Review: Three the Hard Way

Racist evil bastard Jay Robinson and his mad scientist cohort Richard Angarola plot to rid the world of non-whites by poisoning the water supply in three major US states with a drug that only affects non-white citizens. When big ‘ol Jim Brown loses a friend, he calls in favours to his buddies Fred Williamson and Jim Kelly as they attempt to put a stop to the evil scheme before it’s too late.

There were quite a few blaxploitation team-ups over the years, during and after the era itself, but none of them managed to get all of the titans in one film: Fred Williamson, Pam Grier, Richard Roundtree, Ron O’Neal, Isaac Hayes, Jim Brown, and Jim Kelly. “Original Gangstas” probably got closest, but even that one left a couple out. The other thing about these team-ups is that they rarely resulted in an overall good film. This 1974 action-drama from director Gordon Parks Jr. (“Superfly”) is a near-miss as most tended to be.

Although the music score by Richard Tufo (something called “Demented”, co-starring the one and only Harry Reems) is terrific, one is rather amused by the initial concept of Jim Brown and “Superfly” supporting actor Charles McGregor playing music industry guys. It’s a bit much, so thankfully the film isn’t about their exploits in cutting albums for the film’s music act, The Impressions (Who weren’t bad, but “Superfly” composer Curtis Mayfield had already left the group by this point) who do the film’s decent theme song. Things really pick up when evil-eyed, evil-voiced Jay Robinson turns up, immediately good fun as the well-spoken White Supremacist villain. Fred ‘Hammer’ Williamson’s entrance is definitive ‘Hammer’ cheesiness, too. The man’s no great actor but he’s charisma personified in this, whilst Brown plays it typically (but fairly appropriately) dour and stoic. As for our third protagonist, Jim Kelly is even less of an actor than Williamson (i.e. He’s fucking terrible), however his entrance is no less memorable. Sure, watching him kick the fuck out of a bunch of racist cops is perhaps going to elicit a Kung Fu Joe-derived chuckle or two out of a more modern audience. However, it’s an undeniably fun way to bring him into the film. I could very easily do without all the weird grunting he does whilst displaying his Kung Fu skills, however. It’s even sillier than in “Black Belt Jones”. Together, Brown, Williamson, and Kelly make for a diverse and fun action trio (We also get a brief appearance by “TNT Jackson” herself, Jeannie Bell). Watching Kelly kick the shit out of people while wearing what looks like leather karate/Kung Fu gear is truly a 70s sight to behold. Meanwhile, bad guy Robinson’s criminal scheme is absolutely ridiculous and might remind you of the terrific parody “Black Dynamite”.

If the film has a flaw, it’s perhaps that it is geared more towards the drama than action, and the cast simply aren’t appropriately chosen for serious crime-drama (And let’s face it, the plot – fun as it is – is completely and utterly batshit schlock at its essence). There’s certainly some action and it’s fun stuff, but most of it is in the last 15 minutes. With the possible exception of Brown and maybe old ham Robinson, no one’s a genuine thesp here, so more emphasis on action than drama probably would’ve been for the best.

Rather than true blaxploitation, this team-up of three of the subgenres biggest names feels more like a mixture of James Bond and a 70s cop-drama. Scripted by Jerry Ludwig (“Take a Hard Ride”, and a lot of TV) and Eric Bercovici (“Take a Hard Ride”, TV’s “Shogun” mini-series), it’s all very watchable, but just under a recommendation overall because it falls into a weird zone of neither fish nor fowl. It definitely needed more Jay Robinson, who is like a mixture of Vincent Price, Claude Rains, and Maurice Evans. Poorly lit by the usually dependable Lucien Ballard (“The Killing”, “The Wild Bunch”).

Rating: C+