Review: Scream (2022)

A new series of Woodsboro youngsters start to suspect that someone is attempting to reboot the “Stab!” franchise. They seek the very reluctant help of a burned-out Dewey (David Arquette) who calls in a couple of helpers of his own (Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox) as the survivors of the bloody events of 25 years ago get set to confront the Ghostface of the present. Roger L. Jackson once again voices the disguised killer.

 

I’m probably a little milder on the original “Scream” than some. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a solid spoof with one genuinely tense scene at the beginning (Unlike most, I don’t consider it a horror film at all, just a spoof that uses horror tropes whilst lampooning them). It was good and a clever film for its time, a better version of what Wes Craven tried for with “The New Nightmare”. However, it also ushered in a new wave of PG-13 horror staleness that hung around for far too long if you ask me (films that somehow didn’t seem to realise that “Scream” was taking the piss). And that’s not even including the sequels. I didn’t mind the first two sequels at the time, but I seem to have moved on from the “Scream” thing than many, thus we were given 2011’s dire “Scream 4”. They keep making these things despite each progressive one being worse than the one before it. That downward trend continues with this 2022 sequel/reboot hybrid from co-directors Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett (who previously combined for “Devil’s Due” and “Ready or Not”), which is an absolute bore and a half. The worst “Scream” yet.

 

Scripted by James Vanderbilt (“ID4”, “Zodiac”, “White House Down”) and Guy Busick (“Ready or Not”), the film follows the standard reboot-cum-sequel formula of having a new young cast taking centre stage while peppering the support/cameo cast with familiar faces. There’s nothing new in that, nor in anything else here. The roving camerawork by Brett Jutkiewicz (“Ready or Not”, “The Black Phone”) is nice, but why is this film even a thing? The opener is well-shot and quite brutal and bloody, but it’s really just a technological update of the first film’s opener. The film needs to convince you of the necessity for its existence, and if you can’t enjoy the original simply because you didn’t grow up on 1996 phone technology…please don’t watch movies. Go watch “Dora the Explorer” or something. And yes, I know even that reference is dated. Sue me. Updating what is already available is not a necessity to exist. It’s an existence to profit off the success of something that already exists and worked.

 

Instead of casting a bunch of familiar young faces like the original, the youngsters here weren’t familiar to me. More importantly, the majority of them can’t act a lick, nor do they have charisma or screen presence to compensate. Especially bad are Mikey Madison and Sonia Ammar, tied for worst performer in the film. Madison’s performance is so wildly uneven that one wonders if she was given any direction whatsoever. The younger set particularly can’t sell the patented movie buff dialogue. I’m all for characters being film buffs and movie trivia buffs, but it’s gotta sound organic out of their mouths. It mostly was the case in the first “Scream”, but here the characters seem to merely be spouting this stuff because they’re characters in a “Scream” film, and I don’t think it’s just a screenwriting problem. Yes, it’s a tired and uninspired script, but the new actors just ain’t cutting it and didn’t convince me for one second that these characters would’ve heard of the original “Halloween” let alone seen it, let alone be able to quote from it. As for our series returnees…oof. You really know something is amiss when occasional hardcore wrestler David Arquette gives the best performance in the film. He convinces quite well as a tired and messed-up Dewey. Neve Campbell and Courtney Cox seem like they’re being held at gunpoint to be there (and the latter can’t move her face anymore), and the only reason Marley Shelton is here is because all of the other more important series cast members have already been killed off at this point. Campbell and Cox’s characters also end up contributing sweet bugger-all to the story.

 

From a violence point of view, those inclined will find some nice kills including a terrific knife through the neck. I simply didn’t care, I need the script to work first and foremost and the actors to sell me on it. It’s all capped off by a disgraceful climax that ***** SPOILER ALERT ***** features a character getting a pep talk from her dead serial killer father to inspire her big comeback. What. The. Actual. Fuck. Is. That. ***** END SPOILER *****

 

Tired, eye-rolling ‘re-quel’ (not my term, I assure you) takes forever to get off the ground, features dreadfully uninspired performances for the main, and has absolutely nothing fresh or clever to offer. It’s not even funny. At all. It’s the kind of clichéd, dumb film that the first film was lampooning!

 

Rating: D