Review: The Accidental Spy

Jackie Chan stars as (wait for it) Jackie Chan, a fitness equipment salesman who attracts media attention after stopping a robbery. Before he knows it, the wealthy father he never met is requesting he travel to see him in South Korea. Dad is gravely ill, but leaves his son a crucifix and a key before he passes (He has to travel to Istanbul, mind you). Geez, what a cheap bastard! Anyway, it’s not long before some no-good types are after Chan (who always wanted to be a cop, by the way), who they believe was given something by his old man that they very much want possession of.

 

American distributors apparently greatly changed this 2001 film from director Teddy Chan (“Bodyguards and Assassins”, producer of “Black Mask” with Jet Li) for its American release, and this is the version I saw on Aussie cable TV. It’s pretty poor, I have to say, but whether its due to the cuts or if it would’ve been a poor film anyway, I cannot say. All I can say is that it gets pretty tedious after a while, and even Jackie’s celebrated stunts and set-pieces are well under par. I bet Chan had a miserable time on this one, and he gives quite a half-arsed performance.

 

The main thing here is tone, and it has been botched. Although it sounds intriguing on paper, I couldn’t really get into the plot because I sensed that no one here was taking it remotely seriously. No one seems to think it’s important, and when it finally does get serious, it’s too late and there’s still the shit English dubbing to contend with. For the most part, it’s typical Jackie Chan mugging, but with less enthusiasm than usual, and with rather subpar stunts that mostly don’t appear until the last 15-20 minutes. Truth be told, I’m not a fan. I think he’s a slapstick comedian rather than a martial artist and his films lack edge. It’s all a silly put-on, and after a while here I got bored with it, though I admire Chan’s dedication to his craft. Dude’s gonna get killed doing one of his stunts someday, one worries. It’s a film about set-pieces rather than narrative or character and that has limited appeal for me. The best stunt is near the end with a plane and a bike, and even that one is too short and just OK (Bloody dangerous-looking, though). The silly bit in the prison hospital with Jackie and a henchman using defibrillators on one another sending them loopy is fun too, but that’s about it. Well, unless you’ve always wanted to see Jackie’s bare arse. If you hit the freeze frame you might even see more than that, depending on how shy he was (I promise I didn’t look too closely myself. That’s my story at least).

 

It’s not a bad film, just dull, safe, and (in the English dub) cheap. Seriously, the English dubbing is pathetic, with even Jackie’s own dubbing horribly out of sync. That’s unacceptable for 2001, and suggests a lack of effort. It’s still far from his worst film, as “City Hunter” and “The Protector” take quite some beating. But even Jackie fans have to be pretty disappointed with this half-hearted effort. Attractive Turkish scenery and several pretty female co-stars, though, and the Chinese cut of the film (apparently much more serious in tone and about 20 minutes longer!) is probably an improvement. One would hope so. Scripted by Ivy Ho (writer-director of “Claustrophobia”) originally, the English adaptation is credited to Rod Dean (who did the job for “Armour of God”, “The Twin Dragons” and “The Legend of Drunken Master”).

 

Rating: C