Review: Police Academy 3: Back in Training

With the Governet (Ed Nelson) wanting to cut back on the number of police academies in the state, Cmdt. Lassard (George Gaynes) and Cmdt. Mauser (Art Metrano) train their cadets to bit pitted against one another. Helping Lassard’s rookies are recent graduates Mahoney (Steve Guttenberg), Jones (Michael Winslow), Hightower (Bubba Smith), Tackleberry (David Graf), Hooks (Marion Ramsey), Callahan (Leslie Easterbrook), and Fackler (Bruce Mahler). Meanwhile, Mauser sends two of his own officers to infiltrate Lassard’s academy and carry out some sabotage. Among Lassard’s new recruits are the seriously hot blond Karen Adams (Shawn Weatherly), milquetoast Sweetchuck (Tim Kazurinsky), reformed but still insane biker Zed (Bobcat Goldthwait), Japanese guy Nogata (Brian Tochi), Tackleberry’s half-arsed brother-in-law (Andrew Paris, son of the film’s director) and others.

Unlike most with a critical mind, I’ve never been one to outright dismiss the “Police Academy” franchise. Yes, “Assignment Miami Beach” was pretty lame to the point where they couldn’t even get Steve Guttenberg to sign on. Yes “City Under Siege” (which for some reason I saw in cinemas) was even worse. And yes, “Mission to Moscow” was absolutely, tediously unfunny. But the rest? I don’t hate them. In fact, I think “Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol” is close to being a movie I would genuinely recommend. As co-star David Spade once remarked, it’s ‘the good one’. The first three I have to admit tend to blend together for me somewhat, so I couldn’t really remember a whole lot about this 1986 film from director Jerry Paris (“The Grasshopper”, “Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment”) and screenwriter Gene Quintano (“King Solomon’s Mines”, “Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol”, “National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1”, “Sudden Death”). The result? Well it’s better than “City Under Siege” and “Mission to Moscow” by a long shot.

Like all the other “Police Academy” films, this one at least has its moments. I personally never found Art Metrano’s Mauser to be remotely funny, he’s a poor man’s G.W. Bailey, though both men had the same idiot offsider, and Lance Kinsey is amusing as always as the idiot Proctor. Tim Kazurinsky is perfect as milquetoast Sweetchuck as well, and as this is the film where Bobcat Goldthwait’s animalistic biker Zed joins the academy, Sweetchuck and Zed form a perfect odd couple. In fact, Goldthwait is the one true original in the franchise. He’s one-of-a-kind. By this point Leslie Easterbrook’s pneumatic yet borderline dominatrix Callahan has mellowed out a bit to show a softer side. Slightly. Kind of. Either that or she’s just really into Asian men. You certainly won’t forget her, either way. We also get genuinely funny introductions for Bubba Smith’s Hightower, and especially David Graf’s trigger-happy Tackleberry, who was always my favourite character. Everything involving his character here is fun. George Gaynes meanwhile, says his patented ‘many, many’ a lot in the opening 10 minutes. I always considered Gaynes’s Commandant. Lassard the true head of the franchise, as he was in all of the films (though only briefly in “Their First Assignment”). As for Michael Winslow, he only has one talent but he’s quite simply the best at it and manages to find the biggest range out of that one talent. There seems to be no sound he’s incapable of imitating to comedic effect. He has a funny driving bit where he makes all of the noises…while the car isn’t turned on. I have no idea why aerobics and martial arts are being taught here, but Winslow’s martial-arts movie dubbing bit is always worthwhile. He’s certainly much better served here than in the previous entry. I was less enamoured with Brian Tochi doing his Japanese comedic stereotype bit that was a whole lot funnier the previous year in “Revenge of the Nerds”. I’ve also never understood the appeal of Bruce Mahler’s character, easily my least favourite officer. He was much better as the gossiping priest on “Seinfeld”.

For me the issue here is that the plot sucks. It’s infantile and indicative of a profit-driven approach trying to extend the franchise through minimal creative effort. An inter-academy battle to see which academy gets saved from foreclosure? Why not throw a big party to save the academy while you’re at it? Why is there an inter-academy boxing match for crying out loud? It doesn’t help that the other academy is headed by the dull Mauser and his two even duller ‘moles’. Meanwhile, the last 15 minutes are so horribly rushed you’ll swear it’s in fast-motion.

Nah, this one’s just a cash-grab. There’s a few amusing moments here and there, but if you have to see one “Police Academy” film, skip this and watch the next one.

Rating: C