Review: Justice League

Following the death of Superman (Henry Cavill), Batman/Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck) starts forming a group of superheroes to ward off any potential villainous threat. That threat arrives in the form of the destructive Steppenwolf (Ciaran Hinds), so it’s up to the Caped Crusader, as well as Amazonian warrior Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot), nerdy but fast Barry Allen/The Flash (Ezra Miller), Aquaman (Jason Momoa), and the moody Cyborg (Ray Fisher), son of scientist Silas Stone (Joe Morton).

***** POSSIBLE SPOILERS. YE BE WARNED FROM HERE ON ***** I’m not much of a Marvel fan, and the only films in the modern crop of DC Comics films I’ve enjoyed have been Zack Snyder’s “Man of Steel” and perhaps the unfairly maligned “Green Lantern”. I did however enjoy Snyder’s “Watchmen” quite a bit. However, I hated the universally fellated “Wonder Woman”, “Suicide Squad” was incoherent for the most part, and I thought Snyder’s “Batman vs. Superman” was a hollow, dour wankfest. I’m clearly not like the rest of you, so just bear in mind this is the mindset I had going into this 2017 film from Zack Snyder (“300”, the unnecessary remake of “Dawn of the Dead”), with an 11^th hour assist from Joss Whedon (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer”). And y’know what? It’s better than “BvS” and most definitely “Wonder Woman”. That much I can say. In fact, it nearly works overall. Nearly.

As always we start with Zack Snyder’s frankly bland titles design. I know it’s a small thing, but for all the crap Papyrus and Comic Sans get, what is this vanilla Century Gothic (?) shit Snyder always uses for credits and titles in his films? It’s like he’s not even trying. Otherwise the opening scene is good-looking without going too far in the comic book/MTV direction of “BvS” where it looked like a bunch of posing. Has Mr. Snyder learned from his previous mistakes? To an extent yes, although early on we get a funeral scene set to a shitty version of ‘Everybody Knows’. Ugh. Still, the director (or directors if you prefer) and script manage to juggle the story and all of these characters relatively well in the set-up. It’s done quickly enough but also somewhat coherent.

Something still feels off about the way Ben Affleck looks as Batman. He looks…chunky and clunky. Is it the suit or did Affleck over-do it in the gym? It looks like Hulk crossed over into the DC universe, got drunk one night and tried on the batsuit. Seriously, it’s the worst batsuit ever. Yeah, I even prefer the Bat Nipples one Joel Schumacher gave us. Either way, it’s #NotMyBatman #TeamKeaton #StillBetterThanClooneyThough. I did like a bit of early comic book movie business involving robbers led by Michael McElhatton being thwarted by Wonder Woman. Although Gal Gadot is still an appalling actress, the scene plays more like my kind of comic book film at least.

The cast and characters are a total mixed bag here. I’ve already expressed my feelings on Ms. Gadot, but I will say that she makes a very minimal improvement in the acting department in this from last time. Very, very minimal. So minimal as to be near negligible. Affleck is boring and flat as Bruce Wayne/The Dark Knight. Although I’m far from a Christian Bale fan, Affleck sounds even more ridiculous with his Batman voice. Why is Ben Affleck even in this? It’s suicidally clear that he does not want to be in this film and does not want to be playing this character. You’re Ben Affleck, if you don’t want to sign up for a film, you don’t bloody have to. You could’ve saved us and yourself the trouble and just let Scott Adkins or Jake Gyllenhaal take on the part. I also wasn’t entirely gelling with Ezra Miller’s take on Barry Allen/The Flash, which while lively and entertaining, seemed more akin to Quicksilver than The Flash. They really ought to have just hired the guy from the TV show, continuity be damned. Miller seems like Kid Flash, and a nerdy, artsy, Red Bull-infused Tweener take on what really ought to be yes, a science guy, but I’ve always pictured him as being more Average Joe-ish, not flat-out Urkel with ADHD and pasty skin. Comic book purists might wish to correct me on that, but I could never quite buy Miller as the superhero-type, except as maybe Peter Parker/Spider-Man. Maybe. He certainly feels like he comes from a MCU film rather than DC. As for Jason Momoa’s Aquaman, I understand the inclination to shy away from the orange and green-suited, blond-haired superhero that even Raj on “The Big Bang Theory” considered comparable in the superhero world to Scooter in the “Muppet Babies” world. I also think Momoa’s got a kind of cool, surfer dude, barbarian-ish charisma and appeal to him that does make it hard to not notice him. Personally I think he looks too much like a GQ version of Kurrgan from “Highlander” here, but he’s the second-best superhero on show here. He’s fun and pretty much gets the job done in action-mode, though I think he’s ultimately a bit underused. He does own the screen when he’s on it, and it makes me somewhat curious to see what an “Aquaman” movie will be like. So who is the film’s best superhero character/performance here? The one guy and the one character I’ve never even heard of before: Ray Fisher as the tortured and brooding Cyborg. Fisher kinda overdoes the stoicism just slightly into the direction of monotony, but there’s no doubt for me that Cyborg is by far the most interesting character on show here. The other main character I liked here was Henry Cavill’s Superman, far more interesting in this than “BvS”. The character is taken in a direction that might be best described as a non-sucky version of what we saw in “Superman IV: The Quest for Peace”. As for our villain, Ciaran Hinds’ Steppenwolf actually does look almost exactly like Kurrgan from “Highlander”. He’s merely OK, but no Lex Luthor, Joker, Loki, or Zod in the comic book villain stakes.

Amy Adams and Diane Lane are terrific in a film that doesn’t care about their characters all that much. On the other end of the scale, I’ve seen Amber Heard do fine work elsewhere but she’s horrendous in this. I’d also advise veteran character actor Joe Morton against playing scientists/inventors from now on. It’s a bit played out, buddy. I also think it’s a bad idea to cast J.K. Simmons in this given his past in Marvel films. He’s also sloppily introduced out of nowhere here. However, as Commissioner Gordon he’s a lot better than tired old Gary Oldman was in the Christopher Nolan “Dark Knight” trilogy. It’s a good-looking and colourful film, without being too wanky, and the music score by Danny Elfman (“Batman”, “Mars Attacks!”) is one of the film’s best assets. In addition to bringing in a familiar theme of his own at one point, he also gives us a rendition of another very familiar orchestral theme during a big action moment that is the best thing in the film. In fact, from an action/spectacle point of view, the film actually does deliver, certainly much more so than “BvS”.

I have a lot of problems with this film, but it very nearly gets over the line nonetheless. From an action/spectacle perspective it works, but the rest is uneven. There’s some good stuff here, not enough, but some. Less Batman and Wonder Woman, a better villain, and more Superman, Lois Lane, Diane Lane (get it?), and Cyborg would’ve helped. The screenplay is by Chris Terrio (“Argo”, “BvS”) and Whedon.

Rating: C+